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Friendship with Ulterior Motives

September 20, 2017 by DoneWithReligion

(Re-Post from September 3, 2014)

We all want to have friends. Have you ever heard the phrase to make a friend you have to be a friend? Obviously, everyone wants to be liked and have friends that are likeable and easy to be around.

I think it is important to also be yourself. Not everyone is going to like you and want to be friends. I have seen people work so hard to change and be someone they normally are not just to be friends with someone they think would be fun to be around.

Friendship

My thought is if you have to change who you are why do you need that kind of friend? This applies to any and all labels we place on one another whether it is black/white, gay/straight, religious/atheist and so on. The label should not make a difference when it comes to friendship.

There is another thing that bothers me about friendship. Have you ever met someone for the first time and they just seem so friendly and interested in you? I have been through this several times. I would run into someone in the store or out for a walk and they are smiling and so interested in getting to know a little about me. I get kind of anxious to get to know them and see if a new friendship was starting. Later I get a call or an email and get asked if we could meet for coffee and talk a while.

After the second time this happened, I started realizing that each time this has happened it was someone with an ulterior motive.

They really were not interested in me, they were interested in what I could do for them. Basically, they were selling something and looking for new people to join in under them doing the same thing.

I tell you this was so disappointing each time it happened. I was thinking, wow, what a nice person. I would like to get to know them and get to be friends. Then, wham, the rug was pulled out from under me by finding out they only wanted to make a sell or add me to their sales network.

True friends are hard to find. Even among people who are not selling something and do not have ulterior motives, it is hard to find a true friend.

Friends

Often it seems most of the friends we have are friends as long as we have the same interests or involved in the same activities. If we go to the same places, work together or involved in sporting events we talk and associate but if we leave that particular activity we usually do not see each other or talk.

True friends love us and accept us as just as we are. They are not waiting until we change and become more like them. They are actually interested in us. They want to see us succeed. They feel comfortable telling us things that are not popular or what we need to hear when they know we are getting into something that is not good for us.

A true friend will be there for you even when miles apart or when we have different interests and activities. A true friend is one of the hardest things to find in this world.

Now as followers of Christ, we have the best and most true friend possible in Jesus. But let’s be real, we need a flesh and blood person right in front of us to discuss things, do things together, encourage and support each other and cry with one another.

Jesus will never leave us, he will never forsake us. He is closer than a brother and the best friend we will ever have in life. Yet in this life we need human friends. And those human friends, if you think about it, are almost like having Jesus right in front of you. Since we are now the temple of the Spirit, God living in us, we are in a sense Jesus to each other. I am not saying we are God but His Spirit lives within us and we can love and accept each other through that common truth more than anything.

So, for those shallow people who are only looking for someone to use and get things from I would rather not even start a friendship. We still love everyone through Christ but we do not have to be friends with everyone. Pray for the guidance of the Spirit to lead you to true friends in your life and see Christ in the brother and sisters he brings along.

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Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Community | Tagged acceptance, christian living, follower of Christ, friendship, Holy Spirit, ulterior motive | 6 Comments

6 Responses

  1. on October 24, 2019 at 10:00 AM Will Their Blood Be Upon Our Hands? | Done with Religion

    […] Friendship with Ulterior Motives […]

    LikeLike


  2. on April 17, 2019 at 7:00 PM Follow Up to Hurt and Abused by the church | Done with Religion

    […] of religion yet following the example of Jesus by loving God and loving people, all without an ulterior motive of getting people to church. Do you have a similar story? If so we would be glad to hear about your […]

    LikeLike


  3. on December 27, 2018 at 10:04 AM Being Accepting | Done with Religion

    […] It is showing love to people, respecting them and accepting them for who they are without an ulterior motive of trying to change […]

    LikeLike


  4. on December 19, 2018 at 10:01 AM In-Your-Face Attitude | Done with Religion

    […] people feel they should separate themselves from those who do not believe the same and use any ulterior motive to get them to “see the […]

    LikeLike


  5. on September 26, 2017 at 6:06 PM Janey

    I agree with you completely.

    Real friends have something in common, a common interest or outlook that binds them.

    Fake friends want something from you, or from being with you.

    LikeLike


    • on September 26, 2017 at 6:56 PM DoneWithReligion

      Sad but true. Thanks Janey.

      LikeLike



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