by Jim Gordon
So often when we talk about leaving church, people usually misunderstand why we made such a decision.
Many times, christian people who remain in the traditional church system automatically think we have left our faith, gave up on God or are in a backslidden spiritual condition. Rather than listen to our reasons and trying to understand, many are more interested in proving why our decision to leave was wrong. They try their best to encourage us to come back to God by going to church. Unfortunately, many just write us off as someone to avoid and forget.
If they would only watch and listen a while they would see that we have not left God. We have only left a system that we feel is flawed and not what God intended. We have left the man-made system to follow God in what we feel is a more natural way by putting our dependence on the guidance of the Spirit alone without the middle-man known as a pastor.
We feel we no longer get much out of the weekly organized service. We feel one person doing all the talking in a building where only a select few have anything to do with the pre-planned service is not what God had in mind. We feel that when we gather with others each of us should have a voice, some word of teaching or encouragement.
For those who are followers of Jesus, most of us grew up in the church system. That is all most of us have known. Yet it seems the Spirit is drawing many out of the system and into a more organic way of gathering. Church is no longer seen as a building or an organization based on traditions and doctrines of men.
Church is community. It is people living daily under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the love of God. It is coming alongside other believers for fellowship, encouragement and building one another up in Christ. This can happen anywhere on any day in any place. We can come together with other believers in restaurants, parks, pubs or houses. Anywhere two or three gather in Christ is a place we can participate and be used by the Spirit to encourage others.
For those still in the traditional system, please do not worry about those of us who have left. We have not left God. There is no reason why we cannot all accept one another and the choices we make in regard to attending a religious organization or following Jesus outside the walls of religion and traditional ways of gathering. Whether in or out of the institutional church, each of us in our own way are trying to follow Jesus in the way we feel he is leading us. Our goal is to love God and love one another.
Share your thoughts in the comments below
Thank you John for your post. I know not all churches are the same and many try to do things the right way. My article is about the church system in general and about those who have decided to walk with God outside the walls of religion. Thanks again for writing.
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When a Pastor becomes the “middle-man” or is perceived as such, there’s a problem. While I see myself in a leadership role, it’s not my primary job. Furthermore, in the Presbyterian Church, it’s a co-operative position. I lead alongside the Elders of the church. And as co-leaders, we work with the folks in the pews to make sure that what we do as a congregation honours God’s will according to our gifts, talents, interests and abilities.
So, if you were to find worship or any aspect of church under my care unsatisfactory, I would hope that you would come to me and the leadership so that we could work things out. Chances are that what you’re feeling is felt by others, so I would see it as a learning opportunity and a chance to grow and move.. And, if it turned out that the differences are too great and you chose to leave, I would pray that you find a church and leadership that fits your style and gifts.
After all, we all come to God in our own unique way; sometimes we work well together, sometimes not so much. As long as we are honouring Christ’s desire and leadership, we’re worshipping the right way, whether it’s in the confines of a church, or guided by our own understanding.
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So glad you understand that God loves you and accepts you even though you are not part of the organized church. Remember, you are always a part of the Church. The Church being what God is building and each of us are equally important and needed parts of the body. Thanks for reading my article and for your comment.
Jim Gordon
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Jem, just let me say I am glad you are a regular part of this blog. I appreciate you reading and commenting on our articles. I truly believe you never should have had to go through what you went through with the church and the attitudes they had. It is sad that, especially Christian people who know the unconditional love of God, treat you and other gay folk the way they do. All people should be loved and accepted just as they are without the judgment and condemnation. I agree that for you to pretend to be straight just to stay involved in church would not have been the right thing to do. You should be yourself, just as God created you and be able to be loved and accepted. I also crave for fellowship on a personal basis with others but I have not found that place yet either. For those of us who have left the institutional church, we are often shunned and condemned by those who are part of the traditional church system. Although many people are leaving the institution for a more organic way of meeting, we are still in the minority. It is hard to find fellowship with others who understand and accept us being outside the walls. I also am asking a lot of questions, learning a lot and changing my views on many things the traditional church taught me. I believe you and I are growing spiritually and God will continue to lead us and teach us as we are ready for the next phase. Thanks again for your continued support of our site. I hope you continue to feel welcome and accepted here.
Jim Gordon
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Hi Dennis, glad you liked the article. Church is community, it is us. It is not a building nor an organization. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit and he is our teacher and guide. We need one another for fellowship and encouragement but we do not need the organization and religious meetings. Caring for one another and showing the love of God should be done every day as part of our daily life. I agree, it can be difficult to get to know other Christians outside the walls of the traditional church. It can be done as we trust God to lead us and guide us. He will bring us to others who feel the same way and who are going through some of the same things. I also agree with you about getting involved with community activities and helping others. Keep building your faith in Jesus and keep expecting the Spirit to lead you to what he has for you and in meeting others. Thanks for your comment.
Jim Gordon
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I left the church in 1983. God still loves me and I still love God and thats all that really matters.
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I wonder if I would have eventually woken up and left the church had I not been forced to do so by coming out. Where I lived when I came out in 2012 it was quite impossible to stay in the church with the attitudes they had to gay folk, so I really had no choice. I guess I could have continued to pretend to be straight and stayed in the church. Looking back that option makes my flesh crawl just thinking about it. It would be too painful to endure. I have missed the fellowship and crave for that but all my searching has not found the place I’m looking for. Even moving country and city to a place that allows same sex marriage and has gay run churches, I have not found a place of fellowship that satisfies me, so I continue to float around, feeding where I can on little tidbits, like your blog, and hoping one day to find some sort of fellowship that will work for me. In the meantime I hope I am growing spiritually, though I’m really not sure about that. I now see a whole lot I never saw before and have a completely different take on the Bible, church, religion, etc. Also I guess on God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I’m learning more about what unconditional love really means and how that is so included in his Grace and Mercy. So I think I am understanding God better than I ever did in formal church.
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I enjoyed reading this! Especially liked:
“Church is community. It is people living daily under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the love of God. It is coming alongside other believers for fellowship, encouragement and building one another up in Christ. This can happen anywhere on any day in any place.”
This is how I have always thought of church. I returned to a strong faith in Jesus about five years ago, after being driven away from Him by teachings on Bible Inerrancy. However, since coming back I haven’t been near a church.
Only thing is, it can be difficult to get to know other Christians without a church.
I’m thinking that one answer may be to get involved with local community activities where people are working to be of help to others. Even if such people are not nominally “Christian”, they ARE demonstrating kindness and compassion for others, and that was often the missing ingredients in a lot of the churches I’ve known in the past.
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Thank you Mike. I appreciate your encouragement.
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Good stuff Jim. Thanks for this!
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