Why is it we seem to enjoy pointing out the mistakes of others? Have you noticed when you see someone doing something wrong or making a mistake that you want to make sure to let them know about it? I notice when driving if I see someone make an illegal turn or run a stop sign, the first thing I want to do is blow my horn and let them know they made a mistake.
I think a lot of the time we do this because deep down it makes us feel better about ourselves. In the Christian world, many times we want to point out the sins of others just to make ourselves feel more holy. Most of the time when we act like this, it drives people further from the truth of God’s love because they feel attacked, condemned, unloved and unaccepted. They also do not understand that those of us who are saved by grace are forgiven and cleansed from our sinful nature, yet we still commit sins. So when we point out the sins of others, the first thing they see is a hypocrite who thinks they are a better person.
Jesus was Loving and Kind, Why Aren’t We?
When we read the gospels and the life of Jesus, we see him loving and accepting people that the religious people did not want to be near. Jesus was known as a friend to sinners, a rebel, a glutton and a drunkard. I think if he were here in the flesh today, most churches would not want him around. Read another article by my friend Chris Kirk on this topic at: https://notesfromthebridge.wordpress.com/2016/03/07/does-jesus-weep-3/
I have always said we should love everyone, accept them as they are, and do not judge. Then I hear other Christians say that is not the way to be. We have to tell them of their sins, let them know they are doing wrong and point them to Christ. That is our duty as believers to make sure everyone knows they are sinning and are in need of being saved.
Actually I think we can do both, we can love and accept everyone, and we can talk to them about mistakes and changes, but it is solely at the leading of the Spirit, and in love. One thing we need to remember, doing things in love does not always mean it will be easy.
Real Love in the Spirit
Most Christians today do not really know anything about real love in the Spirit. We are so busy wanting to point out the speck in the eye of another rather than deal with the beam in our own eye. This is not love. This is more selfishness and self-righteous thinking.
When we talk about loving others and accepting others, that does not mean we are saying everything goes. We are not saying there are no consequences to bad choices. Yet when we come to others in a self-righteous spirit, or even in the sense that it is our job to point out others faults, we are not coming to them in love.
I agree, real love for others will sometimes mean saying things that will not be popular or well received. The difference being, it is said and done in the love and power of the Holy Spirit, not in a holier-than-thou attitude. Loving others is wanting the best for them. Loving others is seeing them through the eyes of God. Sometimes people do things that are not in their own best interest. At times they need someone who sees things differently to let them know they may need to make changes or that there are other ways of doing things.
I personally feel that when we are led by the spirit to deal with people about something, most times it will not necessarily be in regard to sin in general. The word of God says the Holy Spirit will convict the world (non-believers) of sin. As believers in Christ, the sin issue has been dealt with at the cross. This means to me that dealing with non-believers and their sin issue is not our business. We are to love them and accept them, and let the Spirit do the work that needs to be done.
What Are You Against?
We are so busy pointing out the sins of non-believers and condemning them, in the hope of leading them to Christ. As Christians, we have come to be known more by what we are against, rather than showing the love of God. Due to this, people do not see the love of God, all they see is people telling them how bad they are. It is God’s love that draws them, not our guilt-ridden words. See our article What are You Against at: https://donewithreligion.com/2012/07/26/what-are-you-against/
Let the love of God flow out by the power of the Holy Spirit and stop being unloving, unaccepting, condemning and judgmental of people. The Spirit will convict the non-believer of their sin and draw them to the Father through love. We are to be listening to the Spirit within us and allow him to speak in love to others as he leads, not in our own strength or religious way of thinking.
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Here is an interesting related article from our friends at Jesus Without Baggage, which deals more with speaking the truth in love with other believers:
https://jesuswithoutbaggage.wordpress.com/2016/03/14/matthew-18-and-sin-in-the-church/
Done with Religion 
I was caught up in fundamentalism for many years. The main point is that God led me out and into a more meaningful walk under the guidance of the Holy Spirit rather than a pastor. I also found obstacles in the bible but came to realize that the bible is not a word for word book written by God. It is written by men and tells about man’s thoughts and views of God. The living Word of God is Jesus and lives within us by the Holy Spirit. Follow the leading of the Spirit from within you. Remember Jesus also said the Kingdom of God is within you. We so often look to the wrong place and wrong people when we should depend on the leading from within. Showing love to others is not an easy thing sometimes. We depend on that love to come from God, yet when we blow it we are still his children because of grace. And we all have failed miserably at times. I told my son once when he said he was a failure, no, we all have failures but the only failure is the one who fails and refuses to get up and try again. We are all more than conquerors in Christ.
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I so wish I hadnt got caught up in fundamentalism. Since I realised how harmful it’s been, I tried to grow in a relationship with Jesus/God but I found obstacles in the bible and through this lockdown especially isolation. I’m afraid I failed miserably at showing love to others as a personal situation pushed me past my limits.
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I think that is true for all of us as His followers. Good comment. Thanks.
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I agree with this. I’ve come to the place where I am convinced that my job as a pastor is to love people – period. If the love of God draws them, then that’s what they need. When they’re ready, I help lead them to salvation. After that, it’s the Holy Spirit’s job to deal with them. If I can’t clean myself up, I certainly can’t clean anyone else up. Pretty sure I read that the Holy Spirit will lead them and guide them to all truth and that the Holy Spirit convicts. Too often, we get in God’s way by deciding that we need to do His job for Him.
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[…] via Speaking the Truth in Love — Done with Religion […]
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Thank you David. I appreciate your comment.
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Some very good thoughts here. I think that we need to major primarily on the love part as the speck and beam issue is a constant one for all of us. I wonder perhaps if we might interpret speaking the truth in love as something positive. I always wondered if this might be something a little different than the traditional interpretation – here is the Message translation of this verse “God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love – like Christ in everything.”
The implication here is that knowing the whole truth about Jesus we should truthfully convey it. It is an interesting thought as I had always interpreted this as being a responsibility to correct but perhaps that isn’t what this is driving at.
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