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Main Reason Leaders Turn Others Away From God!

July 26, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

One reason I had to quit calling myself a Christian was when it became associated with being anti-gay, etc. It is hard for many to hear anything positive about God when leaders imply that God and the Bible condemn gays. Leaders fail to admit their interpretation could be wrong, yet they destroy many individuals and families presuming they are right about God’s heart. Leaders must stop implying or presuming God condemns gays for being gay. It is clear leaders’ lack of support. You don’t have to say explicitly what one is implying with their words. Just ask where they stand with God and gays. I am convinced for many it would be a negative stance or “I love you but….”

Leaders should know better

It is seldom admitted literature requires interpretation or one’s interpretation could be wrong, thus one’s understanding of God could be wrong. Even if you believe your Holy Book is inspired by your God, our interpretations are not inspired. Besides, it is rarely admitted that it cannot be proved one’s sacred book is inspired by their God. We cannot prove God inspired every word in the Bible (God controlling what writers/editors thought and recorded). If we did not assume literature is inspired, but rather the writers wrote what they believed was true of their God, we could avoid extremism. If we didn’t assume biblical writers always understood God correctly, this leads to more open discussions what God is really like. See link: Shouldn’t we assume the Bible isn’t inspired by God – all rants against the Bible

God loves gays

Nothing may be more destructive to God’s reputation than when Christian leaders explicitly or implicitly condemn gays in God’s name. Gays no more choose who they are attracted to than straights can? Many gays will tell you they have always been attracted to the same sex. If you are a straight man, don’t you naturally have to fight not looking at naked women than men? Ask gays their battle! Who chooses to be gay when one has to hide their sexuality because of bigotry and hostility See: God Loves Gays

There is real debate if the Bible condemns  gay relationships

See here.

I love you but …..

 It is impossible to not feel personally attacked when one utters “I love you but I hate your sin.” Especially if being gay isn’t a sin. 

Many, because of their understanding of the Bible, will respond with some version of “I love you; I hate your sin.” This is not a phrase found in the Bible. One is hard pressed to find anywhere in the Bible where this is a recommended strategy in relationships whether the Bible clearly condemns a behavior or not. It is impossible to not feel personally attacked when one utters “I love you but I hate your sin.” What is heard is I or God don’t love you.

But some actions are really harmful

It can be argued that hating alcoholic behavior is loving because alcohol abuse is harmful. Hating homosexual sex is only loving if homosexual sex is sinful. But do we tell a drug abuser that we love them but hate their behaviors? You don’t tell anyone coming for help with their addiction that you love them but hate their behavior. You simply say I love you and let’s do this together. They probably already hate their own behaviors. When someone is overweight, which is a lot of us, should we say “I love you but I hate you are fat?”

Please don’t reject a gay child in God’s name!

Some parents condemn their child because the Bible supposedly does. Not all agree. See here.  When there are any doubts what the Bible might be advising, God-followers must take the most compassionate, less judgmental stance toward others. Many parents know in their hearts to not judge their child but they are torn when hearing others claim the Bible condemns homosexuality.

Please stop!

Even if you think God and the Bible condemns gays, please don’t imply or speak for Christians and claim God condemns gays. Leaders seldom state directly God condemns or gayness is a sin but it is implied. Come out and say you don’t know even if you believe being gay is a sin, unless afraid of losing your position or donations. Hopefully, you do that for women’s roles. Surely, you admit there is debate concerning if women can be priests or pastors. This is another topic that breaks my heart when leaders presume their interpretation is inspire to deter women from pursuing their gifts or subjecting a wife under a husband’s authority which often can lead to domestic violence.

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the Done with Religion site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like

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Posted in Acceptance of Others, Bible, christian living, Love of God | Tagged acceptance, Bible, christian living, Gay, leaders, LGBTQ, Love of God, women's rights |

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