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Posts Tagged ‘disagreement’

by Michael Donahoe

We often hear that there should be unity among fellow Christians, yet how often does that seem to really happen? Do you get tired of seeing such disagreement among fellow Christians? Unfortunately, we do not see a lot of unity and agreement today.

Jesus said his followers were to be known for their love for one another. Yet today it is hard to find brothers and sisters in Christ being loving and kind. Fortunately, this is not the case in every situation, but it seems a lot more common than it should be.

I am not just talking about being accepting and kind toward those who are outside the Christian faith, but it is hard to find true love and acceptance among brethren of different denominations within the faith.

If we go to the same church building and accept the same doctrines, we usually find love and acceptance. I remember when I was in the church system the first thing I would ask someone was where they went to church. If they went to an organization I liked and agreed with, I would pretty much instantly like the person. If they went to a place that was different in their way of worship or interpretation of the Bible, then I would immediately be on guard and almost dismiss them as someone to get to know. This seems to be a pretty common occurrence.

It is sad that we put such walls up with people who think differently. It is sad that we have made such importance out of buildings, doctrines, interpretations and Bible versions that we forget God loves each of us no matter what we believe. We are to love God and love others just as God does no matter what they believe, especially among those who are also followers of Jesus.

Loving and accepting people does not mean we are always in agreement and that we always get along. Of course, there will be disagreements and differences of opinions, probably even arguments and hurt feelings at times, but that is life. We can disagree and even argue at times and still respect and accept the other person.

By the power of the Spirit within us, we can accept, respect and be loving toward others. Not only our brothers and sisters in Christ, but those who are not of the Christian faith and belief. I think we can disagree and have different opinions and still act in a respectful and accepting way toward our fellow human beings.

Jesus said that they will know we are his disciples by the love we have for one another. Love draws people, but condemnation, judgment and unloving behavior drives them away. It seems that when I say we are to love and accept others, I am often told that I am wrong because as Christians we are to point out the sins and mistakes of others. They say it is our responsibility to make sure others know what they are doing wrong with the purpose of making them change their behavior.

I personally do not think we are to be the sin police. We are not told to do such things. We are told to love God and love others. As far as I am concerned the Holy Spirit will convict the world of sin where conviction is needed. That is between the Spirit and each individual as to what they do and how they respond. We are only to love others. Love draws people, not judgment and condemnation. God is love. Rather than judge, condemn, separate and argue, get out there among humanity and let the love of God flow out of you by the power of the Spirit. There is a whole world of hurting people, both Christian and non-Christian who can use the encouragement of an accepting person who cares and shows the love of God.

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Michael Donahoe was added as a writer for Done with Religion as his views fit perfectly with those that are shared on this site. He and his wife have been outside the walls of religion for fifteen years. He enjoys writing about his experiences and thoughts, and he wants to encourage others who are going through the religious deconstruction process. He also writes on Substack at https://deconstructiontrail.substack.com/ and https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/

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By Mike Edwards

Gad Saad writes that one willingness to change their mind may be the biggest challenge that people face. Why is changing our mind so hard, and how do we pursue being more openminded? I can still remember decades ago my son coming home from school and declaring evolution was a viable belief. I passionately denied based on my understanding of the Bible and Genesis. I have since admitted to him I could be wrong. It took a while for me to be more open-minded.

The Bible can be the problem for many Christians 

The Bible can’t be the definitive word about God since subject to interpretation (different scholarly views of the same passages). Besides, we can’t prove God controlled if the writers always accurately portrayed God, even if our interpretations were perfect. Biblical scholars who have a deep respect for the Bible don’t agree what God thinks about gays, women, hell, and other moral issues. Gays are condemned and women’s leadership roles are limited, despite their gifts, in God’s name. Supposedly, a fiery torturous afterlife awaits infidels! A Creator surely loves the way creatures intuitively think they ought to love. We pursue such love through common moral sense. 

Questioning one’s beliefs can be painful 

For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create doubts about other beliefs they have been taught.  Perceived certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. Unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. Anxiety is avoided by not discussing one’s beliefs with others who believe differently. 

We tend to think with our emotions rather than exploring evidence 

We often don’t change our mind because we make decisions based on our feelings than cognitions. Should we make buying decisions based on if we want it as opposed to whether we can afford it? Should we date or marry someone based only on feelings or based on their actions? In our recent election, many voted based on there feelings about a particular candidate. Without specific evidence one is Hitler incarnated or truly a Communist, I am convinced a wiser choice is to vote based on policies/cognitions I believe best for the future of my children, grandchildren, and country.

We often don’t change our mind because we avoid contrarian discussion

We often avoid discussions with those with different opinions for various reasons. The problem is the path to change often is considering opposing beliefs. It isn’t science without debate. Theologians who claim their views are God’s Word and don’t invite debate – are they afraid to defend their views in public so individuals can decide for themselves and possibly disagree. Theologians who hide behind “God said,” are claiming to be holier than those than disagree with them. Politicians who don’t invite debate – don’t trust them further than you can throw them.

Changing one’s mind requires admitting you were wrong 

Changing one’s mind in public requires humility. I am not claiming to be innocent, just stating the obvious. I trust more those who openly acknowledge when they were wrong. Trust religious leaders, politicians, or scientists who openly admit they were wrong and explain why they believed as they did initially. Many remain silent and hope you don’t notice their change in opinion.

Changing one’s mind can have consequences

Disagreeing with church leadership about God’s character can lead to isolation or being blacklisted. Thriving societies must support individuals being allowed to form their own opinions without threats when universal agreement isn’t obvious. Groupthink is just human nature. Most humans desire to integrate with a group, get along with its members, and benefit from them. Discussing opposing beliefs can be uncomfortable. The loner must fend for himself. If you leave your group, your options are limited to joining the opposing group or being alone. For most of us, neither option is appealing. Being your own person is a tough business. 

Changing one mind means embracing uncertainty 

Certainty is an illusion unless talking about universal moral sins such as rape or incest. Adultery isn’t only wrong in the eyes of the betrayer. Assume uncertainty if you have one rational friend who believes differently from you whether it’s about religion or politics. Those who claim certainty often are naïve and may have other internal motives. Most decisions are not black and white and require open debate. Couples who claim certainty are headed toward divorce or a sucky relationship. God-followers and religious leaders seem hell-bent in telling people what they must believe about God according to their understanding and interpretation of the Bible. Politicians who refuse debate of their policies are no different. Leaders play God (Superior) in the lives of others by claiming to know the truth and we can’t decide for ourselves. 

Civil discussions are critical in the pursuit of truth 

Obviously, we may also avoid disagreements because such discussions can get heated. We must control our emotions when discussing our beliefs. We must talk to others like we want to be talked to. We must stop labelling others. We often are quick to consider or call others heretics or conspiracists when differing in religion or politics. How about thinking one has a different opinion than resorting to name calling!

  • We must stop thinking our views are morally superior to those we disagree with unless speaking of universal accepted moral truths
  • We must handle differences with physical and emotional civility, accepting that misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with our own
  • We can begin conversations by looking for areas we agree
  • We can defend our reasoning, respect the opinions of others, and commit to pursuit of truth

What Humanly Is The Hardest Thing To Do?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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