Many times when I mention that my wife and I have left the organized church, people assume something happened to hurt us or make us mad.
Just to be clear on this subject, neither one of us have ever been abused or hurt by the church. Neither one of us are mad about some event or some person at church.
After nearly sixty years in the organization, and after the last ten of those years feeling that something is not right with the system, we made the decision to leave and follow Christ outside the walls of religion. To be clear, that is our decision and we certainly do not expect everyone to agree and do the same thing. Many people are part of the organized religious system we know as church who truly love God and want to serve Him.
We believe the Church is a community of people and not a building nor a service held one day each week with paid professionals leading the service. We believe the Church is each of us who follow Christ and see him as the head. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit and each of us are equally functioning members making up his body.
We believe forsaking not the assembling of yourselves means we need one another. We live each day having fellowship with those God brings us together with, no matter where it happens. We never truly found real fellowship when we sat in an organized service for an hour looking at the back of the head of the person in front of us. We believe true fellowship is not just sitting together with other people in a room, but it is daily loving, encouraging and praying for one another and meeting the needs of those we are able to help.
The temple in the Old Testament was only a shadow of what was to come in the New Testament. God now lives in us as his temple, and he is our leader rather than another human being we call pastor. There is no hierarchy in the Church today. Each of us are equally important parts of the body and able to teach, encourage, build up and pray for one another. It is truly a priesthood of all believers, not a one man show. Those with specific gifts for helping the Church are not better or more spiritual than the rest. They are brothers and sisters who walk along beside those who need encouragement. They are those who have learned a spiritual lesson and are there to help those who are still learning. They are servants more than they are anything else.
So when I say that we have left the church, it is only the building and organization I am talking about. We left, not because we were mad or hurt but because we believe the religious system most people call church is far from what God is building. He is building a group of people who will daily follow Him outside the walls of religion and organizations of men, loving God with all their heart, soul, strength and mind, loving their neighbor and accepting all they meet along the way.
Done with Religion 
Thanks Kris, it is sad but so true, people associate our faith in God with church attendance. Also most of the time our christian friends forget us once we leave their church. We are the Church and no need for buildings, denominations and all the religious things most think make up a church. We do need one another but fellowship can happen any day, anywhere. Thank you for commenting.
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We were part of a “church” for 13 years and when we decided to leave there were some hurts that helped us make the decision to leave…several of the members said to my husband and I…”Don’t let this take you from God”…I think some people and even some organizations have a mentality of leaving the organization equates to leaving God….it is a mentality I have never understood, but it is out there…for us when we walked away many of our “friends” in the organization decided we were the “bad guys”and somehow thought we were no longer believers even in spite of the fact our faith is very strong and we explained that to them….they have the us vs. them mentality….there is much more than meetings to being a true believer but I think many times people get confused.
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Good question. I think part of it may be because organized religion cannot accept there is life in God outside the organization. They need the people to continue as an organization.
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How has organized religion managed to make those that have left hurt and angry the bad guys?
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Thanks Marion, good comment. So true. I appreciate you reading my article.
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Well, you summed it up to a T (tee?). People have been so thoroughly indoctrinated into religion and tradition, it’s hard to make them understand that there is Life outside the walls of a building we call a church. The only local church I would consider going back to does have a good structure, good motivation, etc, but the attitude is still there. They promote the absolute life-or-death necessity of being there for services, like you can’t find Christians to fellowship with outside their programmed weekly events. I have developed a deep and abiding hatred for religion!!! But they all mean well. They are all wonderful people. My favorite quote from this post: “We believe the Church is a community of people and not a building nor a service held one day each week with paid professionals leading the service.” Amen.
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Thanks for the comment and no problem on the plug for the book. I have it on my ‘To Read’ list but haven’t got to it yet. Once I read it I will post it on my site to, so thanks for mentioning it.
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No problem Cheryl, I didn’t take it as placing any blame. I agree, it is harder than most realize to get the old terminology out and a new and more correct way in. Thanks again.
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It was certainly not my intention to imply any blame in my comment. I too struggle with wrong terminology. It reflects that we are still, even after all this time, coming out of religious mindsets I think. I only wanted to make the point that we need to determine to transition from our old language and more importantly to challenge those who refer to us as those who have ‘left the church’. Thankyou for your great articles.
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Hello!
My husband and I are both “Done” with church also, and for many of the reasons you and your readers are expressing.
I’m wondering if you’ve had a chance to read the book “Church Refugees” by Josh Packard and Ashleigh Hope? It is a well-researched look into the mass exodus of people leaving the church but not their faith. One thing I really like about the book is that it points out that the people leaving are not who you would expect. They are people like you and me, mature in faith and tired of being preached at. They know the call of God is missional–even if that mission is in our own backyards. The people leaving are educated and typically take on leadership roles. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, I highly encourage you and your readers to check it out. We are not alone! God is doing a mighty thing through us.
P.S. Please accept my apologies for the book plug. I hope it is clear that I didn’t write the book, nor am I affiliated with it in any way. This book was a Godsend to me because it provided me language to express to others the reasons why I left the church. I’m confident it can help you and your readers too. If I’ve crossed a line by mentioning it here, please delete my message and accept my sincerest apologies.
God bless!
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Thank you Cheryl. You are so right, we can never leave the Church, just the organization. I find myself still using the term church when I mean the organization. I guess after nearly 60 years in the system it is hard to suddenly stop using the term. We have left the organization but are still part of the Church. Thanks for the comment.
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After some forty years being part of the church organization, which included more than one denomination, I stopped attending church buildings nearly 15 years ago. Like you, I take my fellowship with other believers where and when it is presented, and I hold nothing against those who choose to attend a church building in the traditional way. I believe using the term ‘left the church” to describe those believers of us who choose not to be part of organized Christianity is very misleading. I hold the view that in Christ I am part of His Body, and I am involved in activities that ensure I am an active part of His Body, albeit outside the organized system. How can I possibly leave the church? If the church is a people, as the scripture teaches that it is, then I am part of that spiritual corporate structure because I am ‘in Christ’. I never left the church, I would not know how to do so. I did not make myself part of the church, and I cannot take myself out of it. What I left was the organized system that people now mistakenly call ‘the church’. I believe we should make every effort to stop using the term ‘left the church’. I do not accept that terminology in relation to myself or others who no longer attend a regular service or identify as part of organized Christianity.
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It is sad that this is so common. Thanks for commenting.
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Wow I agree with you . I left the church organization I belonged to . I just got tired of the organizational politics and the fake people.
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Thank you Kris.
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Thank you Kevin. You don’t know how good it feels to hear that others have the same feelings about this. At first my wife and I wondered if this was really what we were to do, but it didn’t take long to realize we made the right decision. Thanks for the comment.
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Amen! I couldn’t agree more!
~Kris
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Recently, my wife and I went to dinner with some friends we hadn’t seen in some time. My wife made a comment about our church, then corrected herself and said, “well, my church. It’s not really OUR church anymore.” She still attends about once a month, because she wants to stay in touch with some of the people there. The wife of the couple we were with asked what she meant and I explained that I hadn’t been “to” church in over three years. As soon as I said that, it was if the women went into a trance and couldn’t hear a word I was saying anymore. Her eye glazed over and she wouldn’t even look at me. The funny thing is, we are friends on Facebook and she sees the things I write, which reflect my strong and active faith, yet it appeared that something switched in her mind at that moment and I could no longer be trusted. That made me sad.
I, like you, struggled for 18 years with a sense that something was deeply wrong with the whole church system. I wasn’t hurt by anyone, or anything, it just became clear that this whole thing was not what God had ordained and I finally reached the place where I concluded that the uneasy feeling I had was Him drawing me away from that system to explore life with Him as my guide. I’m thankful that I finally heard His voice call me out. There is freedom and life out here and I’ve never regretted leaving.
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