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Love Thy Neighbor, Unless They’re Different?

November 11, 2025 by DoneWithReligion

Sanctified Gatekeeping and the Church of Conditional Welcome

Rev. Mark Sandlin

Jesus said, “Love thy neighbor.”

But let’s be honest, some folks read that like it came with a stack of footnotes and a link to the dress code.

They’ll cross-stitch that verse for the guest bathroom wall, but try applying it to someone who’s queer, questioning, brown, broke, or heaven forbid, a Democrat… and suddenly that love runs drier than year-old communion crackers.

We’ve got church folks playing Bible buffet, loading up on the parts that make them feel blessed and highly favored, and leaving behind the radical love stuff like it’s the weird casserole no one claimed.

Turns out “neighbor” is a pretty flexible term when your theology is shaped more by your comfort zone than the teachings of Jesus.

Culture War Christianity

Let’s stop calling it religion and start calling it what it is:
A power play in polyester church clothes.

We’ve got pulpits echoing political platforms instead of prophets.
We’ve got churches passing out talking points like communion wafers.
And don’t get me started on “Christian influencers” who use the Sermon on the Mount like it’s a motivational poster for pyramid schemes.

This isn’t about Jesus.
It’s about keeping the “wrong kind” of people out while pretending it’s holiness.
It’s about using scripture like a velvet rope.
It’s “love your neighbor” as long as they look like you, vote like you, and keep their weirdness tucked in.

When “Neighbor” Comes with Conditions

Here’s how it plays out:
You’re welcome…
Unless you make folks uncomfortable.
Unless you love someone unexpected.
Unless your theology still has questions.
Unless you show up not knowing the secret handshake of church culture.

And let’s be real – nothing clears a pew faster than someone daring to be honest about their doubts… or about their pronouns. Folks will hand you a casserole with one hand and yank back their hospitality with the other the second you color outside the lines.

If grace has a checklist, it’s not grace.
It’s church bureaucracy with a hymnbook.

Even Progressive Churches Get Messy

Let’s not let the rainbow flag crowd off the hook.

Progressive churches talk inclusion, but sometimes they just mean, “You’re welcome as long as your weirdness matches our aesthetic.”

Question the order of worship?
Critique capitalism a little too clearly?
Ask why the missions committee only funds projects that come with matching T-shirts and hashtags?

Suddenly you’re a “disruption” instead of a disciple.

We’ve all got our blind spots. The trick is not pretending they’re stained glass windows.

Jesus Was Not HOA-Compliant

Look, Jesus didn’t say, “Love thy neighbor, unless they make the potluck awkward.”

He sought out the people religious folks had written off.
He didn’t wait for them to repent in triplicate and pass the doctrinal exam.
He broke bread with the outcasts and called it community.

If your “neighbor” stops at the edges of your comfort zone, you’re not following Jesus.
You’re following a caricature of him that makes you feel safe and smug.

The Kingdom he preached didn’t have membership tiers. It had open tables, messy grace, and a scandalous welcome. The kind that’ll mess up your preferred seating at the potluck, not to mention your theology.

Get Yourself a Bigger Map

So if you’re still asking, “Who is my neighbor?”
Start here:
The person you’ve been taught to fear.
The one you were told to pity or ignore or convert.
The one who makes you squirm a little.

That’s your neighbor.

And the assignment is the same now as it was in tesusy parts:
Love them.
Not debate them.
Not tolerate them.
Not pray for them from a distance and gossip in the group chat.

Love. Them.

No disclaimers. No dress code. No doctrinal fine print.

If your church can’t handle that?
You might need to stop printing bulletins and start printing membership guidebooks.

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Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Love of God | Tagged acceptance, chrisitianity, christian living, church, Love of God, Mark Sandlin, Neighbor |

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