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Posts Tagged ‘guilt’

Should We Forgive Others If The Guilty Don’t Confess Their Guilt?

Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Jesus follower, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , on December 21, 2025|

by Mike Edwards

I am writing this to those who have experienced harm and their violator doesn’t acknowledge guilt. Also, to those who advise the victim “must” forgive to be right with God. There are different religious view on forgiveness – if one must confess or seek forgiveness before being forgiven from God or humans. Others suggest all should be forgiven even if one doesn’t profess guilt. Should we forgive others without expectations?

Many Christians assume the Bible teaches we must forgive without any expectations. The Bible can also be used to claim repentance is required. God does not forgive the rebellious (Josh. 24:19); “… if they repent forgive them” (Lk. 17:3). The Bible wasn’t meant to be a rules book to advise what every individual should do in their circumstances. “Turn the other cheek” is not meant for a domestic victim. One is free to forgive without expectations, but you have come to the right blog if a victim and you think certain expectations are important before forgiving a person.

Doesn’t God expect genuine regrets before getting into Heaven?

Many defend that the Bible claims you must always forgive no matter the circumstances. But those who defend easy forgiveness would not agree God forgives without acknowledging any wrongdoing. They would suggest you can’t enter Heaven without seeking forgiveness from God. The assumption is God expects and can discern if you are being genuine in repenting. Maybe even God has certain conditions or expectations if seeking forgiveness. Aren’t we supposed to imitate God?

I am suspicious of those that “just want to move on” 

A bully or abuser who doesn’t acknowledge their behaviors and just wants to move on is suspect. I have hurt others to know how I should go about asking for forgiveness. It isn’t about my feelings but the victim’s feelings. I don’t know why some guilty folks focus on their expectations and not their victim’s. The guilty obviously know they have done something wrong if asking for forgiveness. Those refusing to wrestle with expectations communicated by victims don’t acknowledge the seriousness of their actions.

Wrongdoing must be recognized 

If one is not held accountable for their wrongdoing, might they just do it again? Quick or easy forgiveness can allow a husband’s abusive behavior to continue. When a sexual abuser doesn’t openly acknowledge their actions, will they continue to abuse others? The guilty need to stop with excuses or blaming others. Those with the same upbringing or circumstances don’t always mistreat others. The guilty must take responsibility and accept steps a victim wants taken next. Amends should always be made by the guilty, to prove genuineness. 

Obviously, restitution isn’t always possible! 

Bad memories can’t be erased; positive memories robbed by the guilty can’t be restored. This is why certain relationships cannot always continue.  Those that have hurt others have no rights to insist on a future relationship. When restitution is possible, discussions are necessary from the victim’s viewpoint. 

To forgive or not! 

I would say to those who demand forgiveness no matter what – Does God really forgive those after death and entering God’s presence and they reject God’s invitation for a relationship.”? In my mind forgiveness isn’t really a discussion until the guilty acknowledge they need forgiveness. But for some forgiving despite lack of remorse can control bitterness. For others to forgive despite lack of remorse can cause feelings of further victimization and bitterness. We must stop guilting victims, according to the Bible, to forgive their violator no matter what. Those hurt must seek the mind of God what actions in relationship difficulties lead to your best interest in the long run in a world full of disappointments. You may discover God is emphatic!

Confession:

I experienced a brother lying to us siblings about family finances after my father’s death. He stole an inheritance my father intended for all equally. It ain’t me. All four siblings felt betrayed in the same way. This brother, who I was close to, denied any wrongdoing for gain for himself. We went to court and he had to make real estate sales undesired by him. It’s been a decade and I never felt the need/desire to forgive him, because he denied any wrongdoing. I didn’t harbor bitterness. I was just ready to move on. Only recently for some unknow reason, for the first time I silently forgave him without his confession. I am ready to forgive in person, I think, if he admits guilt and asks for forgiveness. I will have to discern if being genuine. Christian friends will say God forgives you. My counter – I have admitted to God I need forgiveness for my sins. To each his own and God!

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like 

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Should Christians Always Forgive Those Who Deny Guilt?

Posted in Acceptance of Others, Bible, christian living, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , on October 8, 2025|

by Mike Edwards

Many rightly wonder if what Christian leaders claim about God is true. Who can blame them when God supposedly created a place such as Hell, to torture forever those who don’t believe in God a short time here on earth. In these Posts I will propose a question, which can paint one’s view of God, and then will provide a link what I have written before about the topic. I try to keep a page length with bold subtitles. It concerns a question about God that I wish people would be willing to discuss about God, so they could draw their own conclusions than what many Christians claim to be true about God.

Many would argue the main action required in Christianity is to forgive others because God has forgiven us. I have written that isn’t necessarily biblical or best emotionally. See link below. Advising a child of parental sexual abuse, in which the parent denies guilt and not seek forgiveness, isn’t always the best advice or the best path toward less bitterness. When an abuser doesn’t openly acknowledge such actions can enable the abuse to continue toward others. Amends aren’t always possible. When a loved one is murdered, positive memories of a loved one robbed by the guilty can’t be restored. We must stop guilting victims, according to the Bible. Those hurt must seek the mind of God what actions in relationship difficulties lead to your best interest in the long run in a world full of disappointments. You may discover God is empathetic!

To those who demand forgiving others despite no admission of guilt or regret, to be consistent you would have to assume when all meet their Creator after death and deny God and reject God’s  universal accepted morals – that God will simple open the gate and welcome them despite denial.

Should We Forgive Others Without Expectations?

Confession:

I had a sibling betray me over a decade ago. I am not the only family member that felt this way, so it ain’t me! I never felt obligated or inclined to forgive because he denied any wrong doing; he never felt necessary to ask for forgiveness. For whatever reason a few days ago, maybe after listening to a sermon online, I silently forgave him I think for the first time. To my knowledge, I have never been shallowed up in bitterness or angry, as if forgiveness best for my health. I also didn’t think my forgiveness is best for his health, so he might not victimized others by thinking his actions were acceptable. And his kids will follow in his footsteps if he doesn’t break the cycle. One can forgive silently in other words. To each his own with God. God loves you!

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like 

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Works vs Faith

Posted in christian living, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 27, 2011| 3 Comments »

Galatians 2:16 – nevertheless knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the Law but through faith in Christ Jesus…….

We Christians sometime spend our time trying to obey the 10 Commandments and trying to do the right thing, when in actuality, we don’t need to be trying to keep the law at all.

We will go to church every time the door is open, tithe our 10 percent, we will not smoke, drink, dance, go to movies, we will look down and condemn those who do or do not do what we feel the Bible commands. We feel guilty every time we mess up and think God is going punish us if we do not do everything we know is ‘right’ to do as Christians.

What happened to grace? What happened to being saved through faith in Christ, and Him alone. Not Jesus and baptism, not Jesus and doing this or that, not Jesus and refraining from doing certain things. We are saved through faith in Christ and to be quite blunt, we do not ‘have’ to do any of these things or do not ‘have’ to avoid certain things to be a child of God. We have a freedom in Christ that was bought and paid for with the death and resurrection of Jesus. That does not mean we just live our lives doing whatever we want, but we living in the freedom we have through grace. We do things out of love, love for God and love for others. It is no longer out of obligation or trying to follow any law.LoveGod

Let’s stop putting all the rules and regulations on others that we think will make them better people and love them with the love of Christ and let God lead them in the way He wants them to go.

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