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What To Tell A Child About Hell And The Afterlife?

May 11, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

If a child brings up the topic Hell, I would first ask a child what they have heard Hell is. It is hard to believe a loving God would create a place to torture those who didn’t believe while a short time here on earth. I personally don’t think God lights you on fire and doesn’t let the fire go out. The only reason one may believe in a literal Hell is because it is believed to be claimed to be real in a Book (Bible) that supposedly God inspired (controlled the writers having correct views of God written down). But it turns out the Bible can be interpreted to believe Hell is not a literal place. See here.

What do I tell adults about the afterlife?

First one must decide what they believe happens after one dies. One of the main topics in churches is about aiming for eternal life. There is an alternative view what Jesus said about eternal life that is not often taught. Jesus defined eternal life as beginning in the here and now (Jn 17:3), not what awaited in the afterlife. Jesus was asked by a religious leader how to have eternal life. (Lk.10:25-37). Jesus simply said to love God and your neighbor. Jesus answered as if “Eternal” appears to be on the quality not quantity in life. Jesus often spoke of a life worth living being a loving life empowered by God. Jesus’ salvation was about living a meaningful life here on earth with God’s help. The Bible/Jesus/God’s message isn’t dropping to your knees to avoid Hell to go to Heaven after death, but start loving now – a path toward great relationships. 

Few acknowledge the Bible might even declare all go to heaven

It is suggested by many religious leaders that according to the Bible some go to hell and some go to heaven, though doubtful a literal Hell exist. The problem is the Bible, being literature, requires interpretation. It is possible to interpret the Bible as claiming all eventually go to be with God after death.  See here.

We can’t know definitely about the afterlife. So, let your imagination wonder about a loving God/Creator. I am convinced Heaven is a place everyone goes after death here on earth to be with God if so desired. It’s what God wants. In case you don’t believe that, you tell your kid Santa Claus is real and surely you don’t believe that is true – overweight guy visits every house in the world in one night on a sled pulled by reindeers and goes down every chimney. You tell them they will always be safe flying, but you don’t know for sure their plane won’t crash. Tell kids what you think a loving Creator would plan for their creations. Or what would you do as a loving parent? See What Religion Goes To Heaven

So, why not live like Hell!

We are free to speculate what a loving God might do. Go ahead and live like Hell while here on earth! Careful the regrets you, your family, and friends will feel at the end of your life. God only seeks to influence you to avoid a life full of regrets. We are told the message of the Bible is Jesus coming to give you salvation to save you from Hell so you could enter Heaven. I believe Jesus spoke of loving God not to get into heaven but to receive help in loving others as you love yourself now. I seek influence from God in pursuing a life not full of regrets. Try it! It’s on God to come through for you if you choose to follow. Jesus when leaving this earth spoke of having God’s spirit within us.  If you refuse to love, you may end up a lonely, regretful soul. There is a heavenly or hellish way to live life!

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like

Posted in Bible, christian living, Jesus follower, Love of God | Tagged , , , , , , |

What Is Your Passion

May 7, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Michael Donahoe

My wife and I have some friends who are very much involved and active in certain areas of ministry. We were recently talking about the passion these friends have for their particular ministry.

That got me thinking about passion. The dictionary says passion is a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything. This certainly describes our friends, and we are happy that they are involved so much.

We both stated that we felt we did not have a passion like this for any particular thing. It actually made us feel a little disappointed and wondered why we did not seem to have passion like our friends.

I think passion is great, yet in some ways, passion for the wrong things or done in extreme ways can be very tiring and frustrating. A passion for money and business success can cause people to work many hours, consuming their energy and taking time away from family. Passion like that can gradually drain your strength and purpose. Yet, people who have passion for showing God’s love by helping others, and using it in moderation, can see their lives enriched and strengthened and often seem to have endless energy.

The only trouble I see with passion is that it can sometimes become an obsession with the ones involved, and they can begin to expect everyone to have the same passion they have for the same thing. This is where we must realize that God designed each of us with different gifts, abilities and passions, and they are displayed differently in each of us.

I think each of us has a passion for what God designed us to be. We may not be as outspoken or even act the same way as others with passion, but each of us reacts in a way that is effective according to the personality and gifts with which we are designed. We may not even realize the passion that shows through to others, but rest assured, God will work through us to touch others with love and fulfill the purpose we were designed to achieve.

We are all designed differently, and we all act and display our uniqueness in various ways. It is wrong to think we are not useful to God because we do not act like someone else. God works through us based on the way we were created. We are each unique temples of the Holy Spirit, and we each make an impact on those we have contact with through the power and love of God within us.

Michael Donahoe created Done with Religion after he and his wife left the institutional church after over fifty years within the system. He wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system, and tell why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. They have now been outside the walls of religion for over fifteen years. He enjoys writing about his experiences and thoughts, and he wants to encourage others who are going through the religious deconstruction process. He also writes on Substack at https://deconstructiontrail.substack.com/ and https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/ Michael can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com

Posted in Acceptance of Others, Bible, christian living, Jesus follower, Love of God | Tagged , , , , |

What To Tell Children About Hell And Stranger Danger?

May 3, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

I wrote here my thoughts what to say to a child when they ask about Hell. See here.

Confession. I told my children some 35-40 years ago to say “this is not my father” when a stranger tries to take them away. I don’t think I would do the same today to not freak them out. My kids were not traumatized. It is now a joke in the family what Dad told them to do to be safe. What would I tell them now?

Every child is different. AI has good insights “what to tell a child about strangers.” Decide the best response for each child. Some kids are more sensitive than others to scary conversations. Part of parenting is to figure out the best advice for each child. Tailor your strategy to a specific age group (for example, 4–6, 7–9, or preteen)?

How to Start

After thinking about what each child needs, be sure to tell them not all strangers are bad, but children should be careful until a trusted adult says it’s okay to go with someone they don’t know. Encourage your child to always ask you when they aren’t sure. Of course, parents can’t always be around, so I would suggest to tell them never go off with anyone they don’t know. Maybe if forcefully taken, they can start yelling “this is not my father.”

There is no perfect answer, depending on each child’s sensitivity. Just think about best conversation to have depending on their age.

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like

Posted in Love of God, Safety | Tagged , , , , |

Can Islamism and Christianity Coexist?

April 27, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

There is a difference between Islam and Islamism. Islam is a religion. Islamists are influenced by Islam but Islamism is a political ideology that seeks to organize and control government. It matters if one’s beliefs are based on Islamist principles. Islamism in my opinion is not compatible with Christianity or can coexist.  Individuals must be asked specifically their below beliefs. Please don’t accuse me of being Islamophobic

I have written about my concerns regarding Christian nationalism. See here. I have written American was founded on Christian principles, but leaders should be careful in their language. The Founders believed in freedom of religion and beliefs. There is a difference in saying we are founded on Christian principles and we are a Christian nation. This seems to exclude all non-Christians. It boils down to how beliefs are acted on.

What is the main difference?

Allah had no son. Christianity claims Jesus was the Son of God. Christianity declares Jesus is what God is like. Readers have to decide who to follow. Allah or God and Jesus.

How is blasphemy treated?

Blasphemy means speaking disrespectfully about God or insulting sacred things. Leviticus 24:16 says someone who blasphemes God should be put to death in ancient Israel. But the New Testament shifts the focus from civil punishment to spiritual consequences. In most modern Christian-majority countries, blasphemy is not punished by law.

Islamism generally treats blasphemy as both a religious sin and a crime against the state. Because Islamism advocates for governments ruled by Sharia law, blasphemy is often treated as a criminal offense, not just a moral one. Even death for severe cases, particularly if the offender is seen as abandoning or attacking the faith. I am not aware Christianity having any such laws.

How to treat infidels

In Christianity, people who do not believe in the Christian faith are usually called unbelievers rather than “infidels.” The way Christianity views them comes mainly from the teachings of Jesus Christ and the New Testament. They are seen as people that God loves. (Rom 5:8, John 3:16) I do not think any form of Christianity can be accused of deadly consequences based on beliefs or not granting freedom of belief on earth.

In Islamism non-Muslims may be allowed to live in society but with a different legal status in a state governed by Islamic law, though interpretations vary widely across movements. Shouts of “Death to Americans” don’t suggest coexistence is allowed according to Islamism.

Gays

Unfortunately, Christians are not united in claiming God does not condemn gays. Many refuse to admit the Bible can also be interpreted to not condemn monogamous same sex relationships. See here  But, at least Christianity cannot be accused of supporting death for those who are in same-sex relationships. Islamism consider that sodomy is considered a capital offense in Iran, where execution methods include public hangings. Many Muslims interpret Islamic teachings differently, but many Muslim governments support criminal penalties that can include fines, imprisonment, or death penalties. That is a severe difference rather than condemnation

And women

Unfortunately, Christians can be accused of women bias as much as Muslims. Sorry, any religion that requires women dress up to protect men’s eyes is anti-religion in my opinion. Men – control your own eyes. But then some Christians claim the Bible requires women submit to men’s authority in certain roles that men are not required ot submit to men. I doubt the Bible teaches that; I am not sure why any fair-minded person would think women can’t fulfill the same roles as men unless believing a Book about God teaches otherwise.

I doubt Paul, a main writer of the New Testament, was a bias against women. See here. Most agree not allowing equal roles because of skin color is immoral. Choosing who should lead the company based on gender is obviously bigotry. The most qualified or gifted should surely lead the company. Why not in church? Men in authority over women whether in public or private life is conducive for domestic abuse and the other atrocities women face at the hands of men. Give me an inch and I am tempted to take a mile! So, both religions suck and have extremists.

What about Violence

Many, but not all, Christians and Muslims, can be accused of advocating violence and possibly genocide. Most religions allow war in certain circumstances when fighting evil. The problem is extremist groups like ISIS can misuse Islamic language to justify violence. Christians aren’t necessarily off the hook. Some suggest the Old Testament advocates violence or genocide in certain circumstances. (I Samuel 15:1-5) It certainly seems that way. As discussed below the problem is whether one’s holy Book is inspired by God. If writers are portraying God accurately because God is controlling their thoughts, as opposed to sharing their own opinions of God, then most followers feel an obligation to follow in their God’s inspired footsteps. 

The problem with inspired Scriptures

There are extremists with any religion whether Christian, Jewish, or Muslim. The problem often is how supposed inspired texts by God are interpreted. It is rarely admitted that our interpretative views of God according to the Bible could be right or wrong. Some say God condemns gays according to the Bible, others interpret the same passages differently. Even if we could prove God inspired every word in the Bible (God controlling what writers thought and recorded), we should always question interpretations since biblical scholars interpret differently the same passages.

Supposed inspired interpretations by God or Allah can lead others away from God, because if a Supreme Being advocated a belief, most assume we are obligated to endorse and follow. I argued that if we did not assume literature is inspired, but rather the writers wrote what they believed was true of their God, we could avoid extremism. Use common moral sense to understand God, rather than assuming writers never misunderstood God. See Shouldn’t we assume the Bible isn’t inspired by God – all rants against the Bible

Final Thoughts

I believe those who claim Islam or Islamic as their beliefs would refer to themselves as Muslims. Those who claim Christianity as their religions would call themselves Christians. Not all Muslims or Christians hold the same above beliefs. Their beliefs should be questioned to discern what actions may follow. One may think I have been biased toward Christians reading the above. I do associate more with their beliefs than many Muslims. I believe Muslim beliefs are more extreme than Christian’s beliefs. Depends on their belief of their Holy Book and interpretation. Let’s have open discussion of personal beliefs.

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like

Posted in Acceptance of Others, Bible, christian living, Love of God, religion | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

Freedom in Christ

April 23, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Michael Donahoe

The Ten Commandments, tithing, church attendance, do this, do that, do not do this, stop doing that….we Christians like to make things so much more difficult on ourselves. We have the mentality that in order to be approved by God we need to obey the law and be busy doing things for Him. I guess that by doing these things we feel better about ourselves and more spiritual because we feel we are doing something for God. 

In Galatians we are told that we are not justified by the works of the law. We are justified by faith in Jesus. He lived a perfect life here on earth. He lived a life that fulfilled the Law, or the Old Covenant. He said, ‘it is finished’, meaning the old agreement was fulfilled, complete and done.

When He died and rose again, he began a new covenant, a covenant of grace. He restored us to fellowship with God. We are now raised up as new creatures in Christ and live as the righteousness of God because of the grace we received through Christ. 

We no longer live according to the Old Covenant. We no longer need to try to live by following the law. We are now free in Jesus, and we live each day by faith in Him. We live out of love for God because of the grace that was given to us by Jesus. When we continue to try to follow the ten commandments and Old Testament Law, we are saying that the death of Jesus was not enough. 

Enjoy the freedom Jesus provided to you. Do not bind yourself with all the rules and requirements of the law. Live a life being free in Christ and live it out of love. Love for God, love for the one who restored our fellowship with God and love for one another.

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Michael Donahoe was added as a writer for Done with Religion as his views fit perfectly with those that are shared on this site. He and his wife have been outside the walls of religion for over fifteen years. He enjoys writing about his experiences and thoughts, and he wants to encourage others who are going through the religious deconstruction process. He also writes on Substack at https://deconstructiontrail.substack.com/ and https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/

Posted in christian living, Jesus follower, Love of God, New Covenant | Tagged , , , , , , |

How To Read Bible Stories And Not Scare The Hell Out Of Kids?

April 20, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

I am not one to often recommend Bible stories. See Here my rants AGAINST the Bible. But, my wife found such a book that I felt comfortable recommending my kids read to my grandkids. She doesn’t have the same views of the Bible that I do. I really liked The Complete Illustrated Children’s Bible

I wrote in the front of the Book a suggestion to explain to my grandchildren in ways they can understand before reading. I grew up in the institutional church for decades and this perspective was never shared with me.

Keep in mind Bible stories aren’t always literal stories but the writer used a short simple story to teach a moral lesson or truths about God. Or to illustrate ideas about life, behavior, or values. For example, the New Testament include parables – such as the Good Samaritan which teaches about kindness and helping others. It doesn’t matter if the story really happened.

(There really weren’t talking snakes in the Garden)

(God doesn’t really keep unbelievers alive and torture by fire after death. See 12 Reasons To Believe Hell Is A Myth!)

We don’t have to know if the story is literal. Explain to your children the differences in stories. Instead of the writer stating the lesson directly, the story lets you figure it out. That is the fun part of reading Bible stories to children. Ask questions of your children “what do you think God or the Bible is trying to teach us?”

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like

Posted in Bible, christian living, Love of God | Tagged , , , , , |

Are We Living in Biblical End-times?

April 14, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

Certain religious groups (some Christians and some Islamic movements see the war in Iran and Middle East conflicts connected to end-time prophecies. Some rhetoric around the Iran conflict has referenced Armageddon and biblical prophecy. It is often that different religious groups interpret the Bible’s prophecies in different ways. The honest answer to the question asked in the title of this Post is that no one can definitively say we are living in the Biblical “end times.” It depends on your interpretation. How we answer this question matters. War decisions are made based on beliefs which lead to many lives lost.

Why is it likely prophecy doesn’t predict the future?

There are two basic views of prophecy in the Bible. That prophecy foretells future events that will happen or that prophecies are conditional. Whether they come true depends on the actions of nations. Prophecies may only be warning about future possibilities. Prophecies that aren’t conditional, on how people respond to God, imply God doesn’t respect the freedom to change. To be free, creatures must choose among possible options, having a say-so in choices. Even the Bible speaks often as if God doesn’t know the future. God hopes Israel would accept God’s guidance, but Israel often turned against God (i.e., Jer. 3:19-20). We don’t have to play mental gymnastics by assuming God is only pretending to not know future decisions.

Believing the world is coming to an end and somehow God is going to rescue you in the sky by a rapture can lead to passivity. We mustn’t wait on God to “fix” things by coming again. We must do all we can for the next generation!

A God who doesn’t knows the future is more relatable

It is natural to think an all-knowing, powerful God has special insights into future outcomes to avoid problems. But God can’t tell you if the person you want to marry won’t end up betraying you or the job you take won’t end up being phased out. A loving human or spiritual parent would warn their child if they knew ahead of time of heartbreaks. God isn’t hiding a “known” future for important decisions. God joins us in an open future.

When the Bible says God grieves with us in our suffering (Psalm 56:8), we can know God agonizes with us each step of the way and deters any suffering possible without violating freedoms or acting controlling. God joins us in our joys and sorrows in real time.

Biblical evidence of the end-times

Many make decisions believing they can usher in the end times. But there are two interpretations. There is some biblical evidence that the end times mentioned refer to what happened in the first century, thus having been fulfilled:

If the Bible teaches God is coming again to destroy the world in the future, why did Jesus tell his audience that supposed predictions about the world ending (maybe not a physical ending) would happen in their lifetime: “Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened” (Mt. 24:34)?” Jesus said to his audience when asked about the last days: “watch out that no one deceives you….you will hear of wars and rumors of war (Mt. 24:4-6). Why would Jesus use such language if the world was going to end 2000 years and counting?

Jesus also gave an important warning: “No one knows the day or the hour.” (Matthew 24:36)

Our future 

Shouldn’t believers focus more and more on living faithfully than on trying to predict dates? We must not make war and the loss of lives based on an interpretation of ancient literature. No one can claim their interpretation is correct.

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like

Posted in Bible, christian living, Love of God | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

Looking Beyond Number One

April 9, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Michael Donahoe

In today’s world, it seems everyone has the I am number one attitude. We are all interested in what is best for us, what makes us happy, how to be more comfortable and satisfied in our lives. Seems like we will do anything we can to get ahead in life, to get all the comforts and things to make it easier for us.

Yet, in the Bible it says do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.

These verses state that as followers of Jesus we should be doing just the opposite of looking out for number one. Our thoughts and attitudes should be how we can show the love of God to others, what we can do to help those in need, how can we use the money God has blessed us with to help the less fortunate.

God says that the fulfillment of the Law is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind and to love others as yourself. While the good things we have been given and blessed with by God are not wrong, we need to keep in mind that they are not the important part of our lives. We are to be thinking of others and their need for love, acceptance, respect and help. Our way of thought should be how can we encourage and build up someone else, how can we help meet a need in their life.

There is nothing wrong with taking thought of our wants, needs and interests as the verse states do not merely look out for your own interests. Unfortunately, many times our own interests are all that concern us. May we daily ask for God to help us think of others and be ready to care for them in any way possible with God’s leading.

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Michael Donahoe was added as a writer for Done with Religion as his views fit perfectly with those that are shared on this site. He and his wife have been outside the walls of religion for fifteen years. He enjoys writing about his experiences and thoughts, and he wants to encourage others who are going through the religious deconstruction process. He also writes on Substack at https://deconstructiontrail.substack.com/ and https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/

Posted in Bible, christian living, Love of God | Tagged , , , , , |

Should We Thank God For Everything Per Bible, But God Doesn’t Intervene With All Evil?

April 3, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

I have always struggled with the bible verse: Ephesians 5:20 explicitly commands believers to give thanks “always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” This verse emphasizes that gratitude should be a constant practice, acknowledging God’s goodness in all aspects of life. See other passages reinforcing this instruction:

  • 1 Thessalonians 5:18 states, “Give thanks in every circumstance, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
  • 1 Timothy 4:4-5 notes that everything God created is good and nothing is to be rejected if received with thanksgiving.
  • Colossians 3:17 instructs that whatever is done in word or deed should be done in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

I have always rejected these verses because  I ain’t thanking God for tragedies such as my brain cancer. I don’t have to assume God is in control of good and EVIL in this life. See  Why did God Allow This Tumor In My Brain – Update Of My Brain Cancer Journey I don’t believe for a second God allowed my brain cancer and not telling me the lesson I am supposed to learn from it. Or others about rape, abuse, murder of a love one, etc.

So, I’ve never got in habit in thanking God for everything as if God controls all events in our life, including the bad, as if God is supposedly in total control despite free will. See God Is Not All-Powerful Or In Total Control!

I have changed 

I have started mentally saying “thank you God” for the good stuff, even though I know God isn’t in total control. Even silly stuff. As you get older, you don’t want to fall. So, now when I trip but don’t splash, I thank God for that. Working in the yard, I forget something from getting up from the ground the porch deck is above my head, but I miss putting a huge knot on my head. I miss a near car crash, though I know God didn’t stop it. I have a lot of good fortunes in my life, but I will spare you. 

End results 

It’s not like God and I have drawn closer than already, but I do enjoy the communication and realizing I can be thankful to God for the good stuff, though God isn’t necessarily in control for either good or bad fortunate. So, I will keep thanking God all the good fortunate, and not thinking God causes or allows my misfortunes. My parents didn’t necessarily cause or intend all the blessings I gained from them, but I can still be thankful to my God and earthly parents.

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like

Posted in christian living |

Death of a Churchboy

March 29, 2026 by Rocky Glenn

If you do a quick Google search on the “significance of ten years,” AI will quickly provide the synopsis:

A 10-year period, or decade, is a major milestone signifying a complete cycle of change, reflecting substantial personal growth, maturity, and long-term commitment.

On this weekend ten years ago, I began sharing my life of faith and what eventually became the unraveling of many things I had been taught or practiced from my earliest memories as a child to that point in my life. I tried to put into words how I could simply no longer accept ideas and practices that had just been handed down to me I had previously willingly not only believed, but also taught, preached, and promoted to indoctrinate and lead others along that path. From 2016 to 2020, I shared my questions and doubts, my fears and remorse, and what became my anger towards a system I could just no longer have faith and believe in. In 2020, and due to that anger, my eyes were opened to the realization I had become just as fanatical and dogmatic against the world I had once been in as I had been for it while a part of it. At that time, oddly enough on the very same weekend which I began in 2016 and which I now sit and share today, I shared what would be my final post until sitting here today. So, what has changed in the last six years? Quite simply . . . life.

Since 2020, I’ve hit the half-century mark, there’s been two high school graduations for our household, one college graduation, we’ve said goodbye to four of the five parents who raised us, I left a job of eight and half of years to return to work with a man I always wanted to work beside once again (however, that was short-lived), and am now in a position I swore I would never be in again managing and leading people. During this time period, I’ve allowed myself to explore many things I once considered taboo or off-limits, and not only have they made me a better husband, father, and man, they’ve allowed me to step deeper into many of the beliefs I was trying to walk away from without having the entanglements of other people’s judgments and forced practices attached to them.

The first change is meditation. Something I was once afraid of as I had always associated it with a sort of spiritual trance and opening oneself up to the spirit world has become a daily practice. I’ve learned that to meditate is simply to stop and breathe and to observe your thoughts without judging them as good or bad, holy or evil. It’s a time to simply allow yourself to just be without the hurried pace of always having to do or rush. It’s calmed my mind and taught me to live in the moment.

The second influence in my life has become mainstream rock music. As shared in previous posts, the churchboy world was one that did not allow secular music and listened only to Christian music. In that world, I always had a bent towards the edgier, aggressive side, but I would always have to be sure the lyrics were uplifting or holy or mentioned God or cited scripture. I’ve since left all those beliefs behind and have found much more freedom and blatant honesty as bands sing about their monsters being real, symptoms of being human, having a reason to fight, and how sometimes darkness can show the light. These are all ideas as a churchboy I would have never openly admitted but when I heard them being sung about, they resonated with what’s inside of me.

The third and final influencing factor in my life since 2020, has become the study of philosophy, specifically Stoicism. At the end of 2022, I entered a bookstore searching for a book I could read on a daily basis that would inspire, motivate, and challenge me but would not be based on scripture or any religious teaching. I stumbled upon The Daily Stoic from Ryan Holiday and since that time have read nearly a dozen additional books on the topic. What I found in Stoicism is that its four core virtues are no different than the life I am seeking to live and, much like the themes I found in rock music, resonated with what I felt internally. These virtues are: Courage, Discipline, Justice, and Wisdom. What better principles could a life be built upon?

So, after not writing for six years, why would I take the time to do so now? I simply wanted to share one definitive final post with the intention of it being the final post. When I put the blog aside previously, I really did not think I would be completely done, but I can honestly say I am now. The past ten years have been quite a journey, and I would not change a thing that has happened during that time, or, I can finally say now, during the life I lived prior as a churchboy. Every event in my life has led me and shaped me to where I am now. The year 2022 was a transformative year in my life. It was the year I said goodbye to mom, the year I left my long-time job to return working with a former employer, the year I left that employer in a shorter time than I anticipated, the year I discovered Stoicism, the year I buried the churchboy as evidenced by the ink I bear on my arm, and the year I discovered a rock band which had been around for nearly twenty years at that point which put into words many of the struggles and thoughts I had myself, Shinedown. It was one of their latest singles, Searchlight, that prompted me to finally sit down and put these final thoughts down.

From the end of the first verse:

No one taught me how to let go, been hangin’ by a thread on a tightrope

And you can’t speak what you don’t know, that’s for sure

To the end of the second verse:

No one taught me how to let go, been hangin’ by a thread on a tightrope

But you can still learn what you don’t know, that’s for sure

Ultimately, to the final lines of the hook:

I know you had a plan, but that’s not who I am

I don’t know where I’ll land, but I don’t need your searchlight to see anymore

I have not abandoned my faith. It’s gotten stronger and the things I believe I can now call mine. I still read The Daily Stoic on a daily basis, along with daily readings from Henri Nouwen, Richard Rohr, Leo Tolstoy, Peter Drucker, and Stephen Covey. I am a better person for the journey I’ve traveled, and my hope is it is seen and experienced by those I’m around and I share life with.

Rocky, ChurchboyNoMore

Posted in christian living |

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