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Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

What God Can’t Stand The Most!

Posted in Acceptance, christian living, Love of God, tagged , , , , , on February 23, 2025|

By Mike Edwards

You probably thought I was going to rant about some sin in your life. Nope! Read on. God is like the cool grandparent I try to be. My grandchildren are still young but when I am with them, I don’t rattle keys to entertain them and hope they go away. I get on the floor and play despite back issues. I tell them you can’t have all the sugar you want, but I will understand you want it and we will work it out. I won’t say do as I say, not what I do – most of the time. I confess that I am more the 4-hour type than the 24/7 type grandparent. When they get older and more independent, we can hang out longer. I did enough all-nighters with my kids.

What kind of parent is God?

I may not do all that my kids wish I did with their kids but when my kids are in pain, I am as miserable as hell. I am convinced God as well when we are in pain. Something breaks and my kids need money, I am there unless using money to get high! A work responsibility comes up and you need childcare, I may have to break my 3-hour rule. I can’t stand them having ANY anxiety about a duty coming up. I can’t stand when their heat quits at their home in the winter. Imagine how God feels when those in poor countries die due to harsh weather and they have no shelter.

I got a feeling God is a more caring, lover than I am. The type of relationship I only know to compare God and me is a parent-child relationship. And God has a lot more children/creations than I do. You may have been taught God feels angry and you will reap the consequences of your sins. So, I guess God has emotions. If God can feel angry, God can feel sadness, etc. I understand tough times may build character, but God hates unnecessary challenges we may face because we live in a broken world. God can’t stand when you are in pain!

How does God love us? 

God’s love surely is the same as supreme parents – other-directed not self-consumed. Love gets excited when we do well and make a difference in the lives of others. Love anticipates, hopes for my success, believes in me. God is pulling for me, even when failing, because I do the same for my children. God may worry but still hopes. We are dependent on our children for intimate relationships. God is dependent on us. God puts trust in us by giving us freedom. A God who claims to love but doesn’t believe in, hope for us, doesn’t love us at all. Heck, even the Bible claims God wants to be friends with us (John 15:15, James 2:22-23), as I do with my adult children.

How dare you compare God’s love to human love!

Even the Bible suggests God’s love is the same as perfect human love: “Be perfect, therefore as your heavenly Parent is perfect” (Mt. 5:48); be imitators of God (Eph. 5:1); be merciful like God (Lk. 6:36). God must love like perfect humans. Bible folks say we are made in the image of God. God’s image is our perfect image! It is only intuitive that God’s love means what we mean when saying we love others on a deep level. Even those who accuse God of being mysterious agree. When one’s interpretation of Scriptures suggest God appears evil from a human perspective, they are assuming God and human love are the same by accusing God of being mysterious.

But can’t God control our suffering unlike earthly parents?

Good News – God Can’t Be In Control!

God can’t stand if you don’t understand how much God loves you

It pumps me to no end when my parents or partner feels genuine respect for me! They committed to me not knowing how the relationship would turn out. God too! If you claim to love someone, you trust them, you hope they succeed, you have faith in them. Even some who don’t believe Jesus was really divine and human, they believe Jesus may have been the most perfect person in the world like God. Jesus had trust, hope, and faith in others. So does God! God is the kind of spiritual Parent I have longed for in my journey to love others like I want to be loved.  How do you want to be loved by your parents? That is how God loves you!

Resource and must read: Wm. Curtis Holtzen, The God Who Trust: A Relational Theology Of Divine Faith, Hope, and Love 

What God Can’t Stand The Most!

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

 

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How The Heck Do You Parent Well?

Posted in Acceptance, christian living, tagged , , , , , on October 29, 2023|

By Mike Edwards

Warning parents – Words of advice to your kids don’t nearly matter as much as your behaviors/actions. It determines if kids want to be like you and even if your kids like you. Good luck if you are the kind of parent that says “do as I say, not what I do.” Parenting is thousands of actions to do and avoid. It can help though to have a general plan to guide you. I will list several actions at the end to think about, but mainly I am going to suggest firm but gentle parenting is the key. I parented three kids who are now in their thirties. Looking back, I didn’t always succeed but I tried. Perfect parenting doesn’t even guarantee perfect kids, but I got lucky. You would be proud to call my kids your own.

What is firm parenting? 

Firm parenting basically is not constantly moving the bar regarding expectations. Your “no” must mean “no.” Don’t make the kids guess how to please or respect you. Good parenting looks for ways to say yes rather than no all the time, just because you are tired of the challenges of parenting. My biggest “no” was you will treat your sibling the same way I am expected to treat your Mom. That means no yelling at or putting your hands on each other when upset. If you are a parent with more than one child, you know this is an almost daily challenge when they are young. If you are saying no all the time, consider what actions you want to major on and go from there.

What is gentle parenting? 

One can be firm but gentle. If a kid is running out in the street without looking, all rules off. Yell at the top of your lungs and take action. But most misbehaviors don’t require such a reaction. Have you noticed kids are exhausting and exasperating! For some reason they don’t come into the world wanting to behave most of the time. Use a firm but not loud voice to state the expectation. If they don’t listen remove them from the scene of the crime. Spanking was not an option for me as a parent. It stifled creative discipline that is more effective. No, my kids didn’t end up in prison. 

Lots of other actions 

The challenges of parenting is unbelievable. You have to monitor screen time, you have to monitor that snacks aren’t the main meal, you have to be concerned how kids these days are treating one another when no one is looking, etc. Here are a few personal parenting actions I think can help:

  • Put the marriage first over the kids. Do stuff with your partner alone and communicate in words your partner is your first commitment. Kids will benefit in the long-run. I sucked at this!
  • Be present in the moment and not distracted. Kids are boring when younger. Quite thinking what you aren’t getting done and be with them.
  • False praise isn’t good but unexpressed gratitude toward the kids is the same as ingratitude
  • Spanking is not necessary as stifles creative discipline that is more effective
  • Pick your battles when appropriate to say “no” and mean it. Now that you are an adult, “what do you wish your parents had said ‘no’ to and minor on the rest? Stop changing the goalposts
  • Discipline doesn’t always have to be immediate. You might come up with a better idea later. Let the kid wonder
  • Knows the stages of parenting. See here.
  • Insist the siblings treat one another like they want to be treated. NO bullying in this house either between mom and dad or siblings
  • Controlling love is an oxymoron. As they get older (age debatable), kids need to be allowed to make their own decisions and suffer the consequences if necessary. Give choices and let them follow their own dreams not the parent’s dreams
  • One last personal thing men – when we dated we tended to hold doors including the car, and other actions that conveyed love. I wish I had never stop holding the car door despite children. I am back in the habit for years unless hot as hell in the car and the wife wish I get the AC going first before they get in. The wife doesn’t always love this new habit, but I ain’t changing
  • Want more suggestions? See here.

Oh yea, this is a spiritual blog! 

One can be a great parent despite not believing in God or have a relationship with God. No excuses! I am bias. God’s influence in my life has made me a better husband, parent, and friend. I am convinced God loves me the same way I desire deep down to be known for loving others and my children. I have written before how and what a relationship with God is like – What Is The Greatest Advantage Believing In God If So Inclined? Consider all the human and spiritual help you need to be the very best parent you can be.

How The Heck Do You Parent Well?

MikeEdwardsprofilepic125

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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At A Funeral Can You Assure All Will Be Reunited With Their Loved One?

Posted in Acceptance, christian living, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , , on June 25, 2023|

By Mike Edwards

Many are taught only those who recite the sinner’s prayer and accept Jesus as their Savior go to heaven. I recently spoke at my friend’s funeral and assured the family one day they would be reunited. I didn’t know about their relationship with God. My friend lived an amazing unselfish life, but that isn’t my point. I suppose if speaking at Hitler’s funeral, you might just remain silent about any reunion. We should never think it is wrong to provide hope to those grieving.

Belief in a Creator or afterlife is a reasonable faith 

You may or may not believe Jesus resurrected from the dead. I happen to be convinced historical reports about Jesus were more real than legend. See here.  Maybe if you saw Jesus alive after being crucified, you would believe too. Billions, regardless of this belief, have an inclination that God and an afterlife exist. Such faith isn’t much different than faith in general. We still get on an airplane, not because we know but have reason to believe it is safe. Faith doesn’t require certainty! 

Who goes to heaven?

If you grew up in the institutional church, you likely heard those who put their trust in Jesus while on earth go to heaven. The topic that over half the people born into this world had never heard of Jesus is often avoided. Too, the Bible isn’t clear either where people go after death.  See here.   No biblical writer claimed God spoke to them audibly what was on the other side of death. Even when Jesus was asked by a religious expert how to have eternal life, He simply said to love God and your neighbor (Lk.10:25-37). This wasn’t much of an evangelical spiel.

Is God a forgiving God or what?

Forgiveness is considered a central characteristic of God. Does God suddenly stop forgiving after we take our last breath here on earth? God can’t pretend every reason a person refuses God in this life is equal. Even imperfect human parents would never cut off a child if finally accepting responsibilities for their actions. What about justice? After death God may bring to memory every action of betrayal and how it felt to their victims. The cleansing and educative effect may take longer for some than others if accepting God’s invitation to live forever with God.

What then is the purpose of living a loving life here on earth? 

Why bother living a good life here on earth if all is eventually forgiven for those that eventually ask for forgiveness. Jesus’ message wasn’t on quantity of life after death but a life worth living here on earth. If one desires to look back on their relationships with fewer regrets, consider Jesus’ advice to avoid the destructive consequences of sin. There is hope for our loved ones who had their reasons for not accepting God in this life. Just be careful of justifying a self-centered life. We could become set in such attitudes after our last breath. But I am convinced a loving God and not circumstances or chances determine our final destination.

What I assure people of when one they love has died 

I said at my friend’s funeral that those in the room would be reunited with their husband, father, grandfather, brother. I said I am convinced there is a God and an afterlife. My God is loving and would accept anyone that desired to live in eternity with God. The way I knew my friend – God would welcome him with a big hug and say well done my friend. It is a reasonable hope that we all can look forward to be reunited with our loved ones.

At A Funeral Can You Assure All Will Be Reunited With Their Loved One?

MikeEdwardsprofilepic125

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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