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Posts Tagged ‘disagree’

What May Be The Main Reason We Can’t Agree To Disagree?

Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Community, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , , , on August 4, 2024|

By Mike Edwards

I written here many fears we may face in sharing certain beliefs with others. I am probably being too simplistic suggesting a main reason why we don’t discuss our differences whether it be about God or politics, but I am looking how to begin a discussion. I know many don’t venture certain discussions because of the consequences. Pastors loss their job if certain opinions about God are contrary to what their congregation believes. We have seen medical doctors’ licenses threaten with not agreeing with the Covid vaccine narrative. But I am desperate to understand why we avoid important conversations. Don’t we get closer to the truth sharing our opinions with one another?

We avoid pain by staying away from certain conversation

For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create doubts about other beliefs they have been taught.  Questioning if the Covid shots are safe in the long-run, if we have gotten the shots, can raise anxiety about our health. Perceived certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. Unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. Anxiety is avoided by not discussing one’s beliefs with others who believe differently. I imagine also many avoid certain discussions because they don’t feel able to defend their position or they prefer to avoid possible conflict generally.

I have written here how assuming certainty during uncertainty can be a relationship destroyer. Certainty is an illusion unless talking about universal moral sins such as rape or incest. Adultery isn’t only wrong in the eyes of the betrayer. Most decisions are not black and white and require open debate by those in authority. Assume uncertainty if you have one rational friend who believes differently from you whether it’s about religion or politics.

Civil discussions are critical in the pursuit of truth 

Obviously, we may also avoid disagreements because such discussions can get heated. We must control our emotions when discussing our beliefs. We must talk to others like we want to be talked to. We must stop labelling others. We often are quick to consider or call others heretics or conspiracists when differing in religion or politics. How about thinking one has a different opinion than resorting to name calling!  

How can we begin having civil discussions?

  • We must stop thinking our views are morally superior to those we disagree with unless speaking of universal accepted moral truths
  • We must handle differences with physical and emotional civility, accepting that misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with our own
  • We can begin conversations by looking for areas we agree
  • We can defend our reasoning, respect the opinions of others, and commit to pursuit of truth

What about those who refuse to agree to disagree?

Do Christians or God-folks always look the other way or forgive uncivility – not treating others like they want to be treated? I don’t have to accept those who demand a literal Hell is biblical at the expense of unbelievers in their journey here on earth. See here.  If one insists Hamas raping women and burning babies alive is justifiable because of perceived past disputes, I will condemn you. Jesus didn’t forgive the Pharisees before condemning their ridiculous religious laws. Open-mindedness doesn’t mean there aren’t common, universal, moral beliefs. Wisdom is required!

What May Be The Main Reason We Can’t Agree To Disagree?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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How Do We Pursue “Truth” That Will Heal A Nation?

Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Jesus follower, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 28, 2024|

By Mike Edwards

Claiming Truth falsely can be destructive. Many Christian leader claim that we as a people and nation must rely on biblical truth. Can we always know what biblical truth is? Attempts have been made to censor mis-informers in the public arena. Can we always know what misinformation is concerning science or political policies? We must be careful what we claim as Truth and how we interact with others during uncertainty.

What is scientific or biblical truth? 

The bedrock of science use to be considering hypotheses to explain a phenomenon in the natural world. It is an educated guess based on the information we have currently have and could change if we get new information in the future. Drugs are often approved initially, only to be pulled from the shelves later after causing death. The truth is that it isn’t science if there isn’t debate!

Ancient literature subject to interpretation cannot be the definitive word on truth. Besides, even if all agreed that the Bible correctly interpreted confirms God condemns gays or forbids women in leadership in religious institutes, we cannot prove that the writers always portrayed God accurately. Any biblical truth claimed must also agree with natural truth such as sexual abuse is evil; otherwise, we must purse truth with an open mind.

Are there self-evident truths we can agree on?

No, one can’t just follow their own heart! What reasonable or rational person doesn’t expect the golden rule from others in their own relationships. Our inborn sense of good and evil, not an ancient Book, tells us sexual abuse or murder is immoral. Most criminals don’t defend their murders or thefts; instead, they deny committing such crimes. We don’t debate many laws, only what is a just punishment. It is a dictatorship not a democracy when we impose our will on issues such as pandemic responses, taxes, climate change, immigration, etc. Dictatorships don’t end well. Benefits and risks exist for most issues.

Freedom of speech is critical 

Denying free expression of belief is playing Superior in the lives of others. God is the example for God-believers. God has respected freedom of beliefs from the very beginning; otherwise, God who is powerful enough to create would annihilate immediately those who oppose God by choosing evil. Freedom is necessary for authenticity, the highest good in relationships, or we could accuse God of not creating the “best” world. A true debate of differing opinions, regardless if you think one is a heretic or conspiracist, is our best chance at arriving at the most caring decision for all concerned. Until we all ask ourselves “am I acting toward others like I want to be treated,” we are destined to fail. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t confront those who reject freedom of speech! 

Uncertainty can be a good thing 

Certainty rather than uncertainty comforts individuals psychologically. One may believe the seemingly certain narrative because unknowing can create anxiety. When only one side is presented, control and power grow intentionally or unintentionally. It should be intuitive denying diverse opinions is unloving and controlling. Couples who act as if they are always right and their partner is wrong are headed toward divorce. Having good intentions by believing you are right for the whole doesn’t matter when certainty isn’t universal. God-followers and religious leaders seem hell-bent in telling people what they must believe about God according to their understanding and interpretation of the Bible. Politicians seem hell-bent in claiming certainty regarding policies such as climate change and immigration, though there are arguments on both sides. 

Should we avoid those who claim certainty and don’t pursue truth civilly?

One has every right to question when one claims certainty regarding non-self-evident truths. Even evil people don’t think others can violate their rights in ways that they violate others. A refusal to openly discuss or defend one’s views suggest an unhealthy dependency on “certainty.” If someone makes false claims of those who oppose them such as calling them racists, without being able to give specific examples, are they really interested in pursuing truth? How about “they have a different opinion!”

What are necessary paths to pursing truth? 

There are truths which almost has universal agreement. Do you know one person who denies adultery is wrong except the betrayer?

  • Shouldn’t Christian leaders quit always claiming their biblical interpretation is correct and at least acknowledge literature requires interpretation “according to their understanding?”
  • Shouldn’t we examine all Books about religion to discern what seems the most universally true? What are Christians afraid of if they have the truth?
  • Shouldn’t we listen to everyone’s opinion and seek to discern together what is the most loving action according to the circumstances?
  • Shouldn’t we first stop claiming our views are morally superior to those we disagree with unless speaking of universal accepted moral truths
  • Shouldn’t we can begin conversations by looking for areas we agree?
  • Shouldn’t we discuss differences by defending our reasoning, respecting the opinions of others, and commit to growing in understanding
  • Shouldn’t we stop labeling those who disagree with our biblical interpretations as heretics?
  • Shouldn’t we can stop calling those who disagree with our views of science as conspiracists?

Open-minded uncertainty, rather than supposed certainty, could go a long way to healing our nation and personal relationships. Imagine how different as a people we would be if religious and political folks had open discussions what are the most caring actions for the greater good concerning non-universal matters such as immigration or climate policies. Most religions agree the overriding moral guide is to love others like you want to be treated. Belief or lack of belief in God doesn’t give you an excuse to not treat others like you want to be treated.

How Do We Pursue Truth That Will Heal A Nation?

MikeEdwardsprofilepic125

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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Why Can’t We Disagree About God And Religion?

Posted in Bible, christian living, religion, tagged , , , , , on March 20, 2022|

By Mike Edwards

I posted last week why we can’t seem to have discussions with others about politics if have a difference of opinion. See here. There are differences in the political and religion arena, but politicians and religious folks have many similarities when it comes to disagreeing.

Is the problem about power and control? 

Some just aren’t prepared to defend their viewpoint or hearing disagreements may undermine what they have believed for a long time. They don’t seek to push their beliefs on others but many seek to influence because they assume their truth, or their interpretation of the Bible, is God’s truth. We know control and power are intoxicating and a part of human nature. Quashing dissent allows one to be more in control which happens to enable job security in the institution. 

We can’t claim our truth is God’s truth 

Religious folks hide behind their interpretation of a Book as politicians hide behind their interpretation of science. Opposing views are said to disagree with God or be immoral. But even if you believe the Bible is inspired by God, the Bible requires interpretation. We don’t all agree if the Bible opposes women priests or preachers or condemns gays. Not all scholars who believe in the inspiration of Scriptures agree that a literal Hell is a reality in the Bible.

Not even God imposes beliefs on others

One might think a God powerful enough to create may annihilate immediately those who oppose God by choosing evil. God hasn’t. God’s love in the Bible is frequently compared to that of a human parent. Why would God act any different than a loving parent? Human or spiritual parents bring children into the world hoping their children freely reciprocate their love for authentic relationships. Forced love is an oxymoron. God doesn’t seek to control beliefs through fear.

This doesn’t mean we can’t cooperate with God in intervening to make for a better world. Jesus’ good news wasn’t to believe or eventually be blown up in Hell. See here.  Jesus only sought to encourage people to shun evil and do good for self-interest and the interest of others. Belief in freedom respects challenges. Meaningful, long-lasting change isn’t reached by controlling love.

There are absolute truths of course!  

Certain absolutes are universal and obvious to all rational beings. Who doesn’t believe physical or sexual abuse is wrong? No reasonable God or non-God person doesn’t respect that we ought to treat others like we want to be treated. Criminals don’t defend their murders or thefts; instead, they deny committing such crimes. Adultery is only not wrong in the eyes of the betrayer. The Bible doesn’t make such offenses immoral. They are immoral due to our inborn sense of good and evil.

We must have rules for conflict

Continually evaluate the most loving approach is better than claiming certainty and being wrong. We must learn to respond not react over our differences. Look for areas to agree first. Both parties must seek to understand before being understood. Stop demonizing by moralizing. Handle differences with physical and verbal civility. Imagine the impact the religious could have if those who believe in God “walked the walk” when have differing opinions. God-followers must stop claiming their biblical view is morally superior among the religious or non-religious.

Why Can’t We Disagree About God And Religion?

MikeEdwardsprofilepic125

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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Can We Agree to Disagree?

Posted in Acceptance, Acceptance of Others, christian living, Love of God, tagged , , , , , on February 24, 2021|

by Jim Gordon

I realize not everyone will agree with all the articles on this site. We all are in a constant state of learning and changing. No matter what your lifestyle, what you choose to believe, how you accept things, none of us will ever completely agree with anyone else.

As believers, we would not expect those who do not follow the christian faith to agree with everything we think and say. Yet, we also know that other christian people will not agree with everything either. We have so many denominations in the christian world, yet none of them will agree completely. But this is all OK, we are all individuals who see things differently.

I think those of us trying to follow Christ should be able to accept one another. Same with believers and non-believers, learn to talk with each other about how we see things and still be respectful and kind. As believers we are to be known by our love, but unfortunately, that just is not the case most of the time.

No matter if we are gay, straight, christian, muslim, jew, hindu, atheist, asexual, baptist, methodist, charismatic or whatever label people put on us, the underlying fact is we are all human beings. We all deserve to be treated with respect and be accepted. Each of us should be able to live our life and make our own choices without being condemned by others. We should be able to discuss our differences respectfully, and none of us should try to force our views and choices on another.

Unfortunately, there has been a lot of name calling and disrespect among different groups of people over time. Christian people saying God hates gays, and atheists are of the devil, people being afraid of muslims, one denomination wants nothing to do with another denomination…this is all wrong and sad.

If we could look past the labels and see each other as people who overall want the same thing, to be happy, to be loved, be healthy, get our bills paid and enjoy life, I think things would be better even with our differences. This is not to say we have to agree with everyone and associate with everyone and be happy together, that just is not going to happen. There are too many different thoughts, ideas, beliefs, lifestyles and personalities for us to agree on everything and be totally comfortable with everyone, yet accepting each other and respecting each other in spite of our differences certainly is a possibility.

When you read about the life of Christ in the gospels, you see someone who loved people. He did not disassociate himself from any particular group, nor did he turn away anyone or think he was better than others. Jesus showed the love of the Father by caring for people, talking with people, eating together, healing people and not condemning them. The only crowd he had a problem with was the religious leaders of the day who thought they were so much better than everyone else because they focused on the rules. Their reasoning was they did not do the ‘wrong’ things and they did the ‘right’ things. They did not associate with the type of people they thought were less religious and unworthy of God’s love. Jesus was always getting on their case for being so religious they were no earthly good to the Kingdom of God.

Speaking of all the different views and lifestyles, I can remember when I was young and growing up in the organized church, how I always stayed with people of similar belief. I do not know for sure if I was actually taught this or it was just a common belief I picked up, but I felt I needed to stay away from people of different views and lifestyles. I still see this in the church today, a separatist mindset.

Sound familiar? So much of the traditional church setting is based on separation from those who think differently. This usually brings a feeling of superiority, being separated from those who need to see God’s love in action, and living a Pharisee-type lifestyle. (Pharisee: strict observance of religious ceremonies and practices, one who adheres to laws and traditions, self-righteous or hypocritical person).

Compare that to the life of Jesus we read about in the gospels, a person who loved people, he was not condemning or unkind, hung out with those who the religious crowd did not want anything to do with, spent time eating and drinking with the non-religious crowd, and truly cared for others.

I know we all see things differently. We will not all agree on things and we all have no way of proving our point in regard to spiritual matters. Yet I think it is time the christian ‘religion’ comes to an end and Christ-like people begin to daily show the love and acceptance of God to everyone whether we agree or not.

Jim Gordon and his wife left the institutional church after spending over fifty years within the system. Jim wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system and why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. Jim can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com

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How Can We All Get Along?

Posted in christian living, tagged , , , on July 20, 2020|

By Mike Edwards

You will disagree; it’s how you disagree and move toward a solution!

Solving personal and national differences are similar:

  • Accept that disagreeing is normal. Begin conversations by looking for areas you agree
  • Respond not react to differences. Seek to understand before being understood
  • Stop demonizing by moralizing. Stop claiming your views are morally superior
  • Handle differences with physical and emotional civility
  • Take action. Bad apples must be held accountable

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Discouraging

Posted in christian living, tagged , , , on May 18, 2012|

You know what bothers me? The way we Christians can’t seem to get along.

Now I don’t expect everyone to agree with each other. God gave us minds and personalities and we are all different. But as I read different blogs and postings, I see a trend sometimes that is more than just disagreeing. It seems to get down right ugly sometimes.

Obviously we are going to disagree on things, but can’t we still disagree and yet respect and love the other person? It discourages me so much when I read a blog and go through the comments and see disagreements that turn into arguments. It gets to a point sometimes that I have to get away and stop reading.

I always wonder why it is we just can’t accept each others views and go on. Seems like a lot of people really get upset when they can’t get someone else to think the same way they do. We’ve got to go on and on, trying to prove our point or our way of thinking.

I know when you write a blog you are opening yourself up to comments and disagreements, but do we have to go to some of the extremes of getting mad and losing our tempers because someone else has a different viewpoint.

Aren’t we being just like the worldly crowd? Aren’t we supposed to be known as Christians by the love we have for one another.

Humans are never going to agree with others on every point, but we Christians should be able to disagree with our brothers and sisters in Christ, and yet do so in a way that the non-Christians will still be able to notice that extreme love we have for God and for one another.

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