Those of who have a relationship with God desire for others to consider how such a relationship can benefit them in being more the person they desire to be deep down. Thus, we need to be concerned the influence on others the claims we make about God. It matters how God is portrayed thus perceived by others. I cringe when well-meaning people passionate about God say things like “it’s all part of God’s plan” or “this was God’s will.” Certain things we say can give wrong impressions about God. It is impossible to feel God cares when undeserved suffering visits our doorstep, and someone implies that such suffering is God’s desire or will. A fair question is “why you and not someone who deserves certain consequences for their immoral behavior.”
Many end their podcast, speech, etc. by saying “God willing” implying it is up to God if they show up again to do another podcast or event. Athletes suffer an injury on the field and imply it was God’s will. I don’t think suffering is ever God’s will. There may be consequences of actions that lead to positive change, but aren’t necessarily initiated by God. “God willing” implies God is in total control of life, death, events in future suggesting God is responsible for joys and our suffering.
God doesn’t determine life, death, or injury
Biblical support is often given to claim God is in control of all events in our lives. It is sometimes suggested God caused Hezekiah’s death. In 2 Kings 20:1 and Isaiah 38:1, the prophet Isaiah told Hezekiah: “Set your house in order, for you shall die; you shall not recover.” Actually, the Bible claims later God extended his life. And I will add fifteen years to your life.”(2 Kings 20:5–6). In the Old Testament prophetic announcements of death don’t necessarily mean that God actively causes death.
God isn’t responsible for your suffering
God doesn’t plan or control tragedies in your life. We don’t have to believe God is punishing us, that God has abandon us, or that God doesn’t care. God can’t be all powerful, thus controlling, and be loving. See What Is God’s Plan For Your Life?
God isn’t in complete control
Perfect love is uncontrolling. It is intuitive to assume an all-powerful, almighty God has complete control. We sometimes assume God has total control when we say “why God” during suffering. It is often said that God has a plan for your life or everything happens for a reason. This implies God is responsible for tragedies in your life. I doubt that! See Good News – God Can’t Be In Control!
What, no guarantees in life?
Freedom cannot guarantee a pain free universe The best news is God isn’t controlling sufferings we experience in our lives. God wants us to truly feel free to pursue our own dreams without strings attached, unlike some earthly parents. God only desires to influence us to do all the good we can, in all the places we can, at all the times we can, to all the people we can, as long as we can. The future is open to God as well. God joins us in a true friendship by sharing our joys and sorrows in our journey to be the person we deep down desire to be.
What can we say instead of “God willing”?
We can always say God’s will is we never suffer. God suffers with us when we suffer. God is already doing all they can to love on us. I have been dealing with brain cancer. I am often asked how someone can pray for me. I am convinced God is in the healing business/love without being asked. See Why Pray If Most Prayers Are Unanswered? I don’t get on my high horse and lecture others, but what I want to say for prayers: “God is already doing all they can for me in terms of my illness. Please pray I continue to reach out to God for influence, encouragement – whatever my circumstances – to keep my friendship with God alive.” So far so good, but I am early in my journey!
Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like
There has been much discussion about prayer with the latest tragedies – Charlie Kirk’s assassination, children wounded and killed during a school Mass at Annunciation Catholic School, etc. Why pray when God obviously doesn’t intervene with so much evil in the world. Let’s be honest – are the majority of your prayers answered in the way you pray? It is important to understand two views on the purpose of prayer. Our mental view (unanswered prayers) of God determines the depth of our relationship with God and how you pray.
God can’t be all powerful and loving, thus controlling your suffering
Some deal with unanswered prayer with the thought that God may say “yes,” “no,” or “wait,” depending on what aligns with His will and what’s ultimately best. I believe most would suggest God says no or wait A LOT. But maybe God can’t say yes though desires to do so. It is possible that God can’t be all-powerful, thus answer many prayers. Logically, how can God be all-powerful and humans have some freedom/power? It’s not that we didn’t pray enough with the right words and behaviors so God will answer. God can’t make one’s partner willing to stop drinking without violating their freedom. God can’t interfere in a job matter without impacting all who are interviewing. What if two make the same request to God? Suffering (prayer unanswered) may be because God can’t physically interfere in evil or suffering without human help. See here. God can’t just wave a magic wand. See:
God can’t physically interfere in evil or suffering without human help. Maybe God’s answering prayer is not as arbitrary as it feels sometimes. Prayer may be less about changing God’s mind and more transforming the person praying — deepening awareness, gratitude, and alignment with divine values. Some religions suggest prayer may be seen more as a means of cultivating spiritual connection rather than a request that an external deity fulfills specific wishes. The “answer” may come as insight, peace, strength, or changed circumstances, not necessarily the exact outcome you asked for. Prayer and meditation can reduce stress, improve focus, and foster resilience. Prayer can be a way to stay connected to God — like keeping a friendship alive, less about giving God new information and more about sharing your heart. In this view, prayer isn’t trying to change God; it’s letting God change you — shaping your desires, calming your fears, and aligning you with love and wisdom. Prayer is talking to gain support not manipulating for gain.
Relational prayer been a life-saver in my battle with brain cancer
I was diagnosed with a brain tumor April 2025. I don’t have to believe God caused my cancer for some hidden reason, or even that God allows my cancer – this suggests God can do something but doesn’t. We must come up with a better explanation that God simply allows – thus controls – evils but isn’t responsible for such evils. A God who can prevent evil but doesn’t is counter-intuitive to love. No loving parent or God sits idly by when they could prevent tragedies such as rape or murder. Are we to believe God doesn’t care, God is punishing us, or God has abandoned us and left us clueless about the grand plan? God doesn’t just allow your suffering! See why-did-god-allow-this-cancerous-tumor-in-my-brain/
Final thoughts on prayer
Even when circumstances don’t change, prayer often changes how a person experiences them. People who pray regularly sense peace or clarity, greater compassion, a deeper trust that they are not alone in what they face.
God is always listening. God hates suffering and is always doing all they can to intervene. We don’t have to pray so God can take action. God is always loving on us.
In our suffering we don’t have to feel God doesn’t care or that God could do something and doesn’t. God knows and empathizes with us in our suffering. God obviously grieves due to all the evil in the world. God suffered when Jesus was crucified. God suggested through Jesus’ example and words what kind of life lived by all here on earth can make for a much grander world. God doesn’t derive pleasure by seeing us in pain but the unfortunate truth in a free world is suffering enables me to better help and influence others that our prosperous times don’t. Jesus’ miracles turn heads, but Jesus’ suffering changed the hearts of billions of followers.
We don’t have to assume God can answer our prayers but doesn’t for some unknown reason.
Prayer isn’t as complicated when we understand the challenges of running a universe where freedom exists. God can’t change one unwilling to change. God has the interest of all in mind. God can’t make one be a better parent if they have no desire to change. God can’t answer the prayer for both people asking for the same job.
We can also talk to God for self-examination, for sharing our concerns so to not feel along in a chaotic world. Seeking God’s influence in our lives can lead to making wiser choices. God is already doing all they can in a free world. Pretending God can simply heal without accounting for freedom and other factors makes one’s suffering worse. God is tireless in working through individual lives to change the world.
Praying can remind us to offer help. God is an omnipresent Spirit. God already knows needs before spoken. It is easier sometimes to pray for someone rather than take cooperative actions with God. This may be the most common way that God answers prayers. Rather than praying your friend’s partner stop drinking, which is harming their family, see if your friend would rather you say something to their partner. When you know two friends are in conflict, speak to the one wrongly denying any wrongdoing. God always seeks our permission to use our lives to help others.
Prayer is more than asking for things. We can also talk to God for self-examination, for sharing our concerns so to not feel alone in a chaotic world. Seeking God’s influence in our lives can lead to making wiser choices. God is already doing all they can in a free world. Pretending God can simply heal without accounting for freedom makes one’s suffering worse. God is tireless in working through individual lives to change the world.
Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like
It should be obvious, but wasn’t to me early in my journey with God, that even if the Bible is inspired by God, our interpretations of the Bible are not inspired. It is rarely admitted that our interpretative views of God according to the Bible could be right or wrong. Some say God condemns gays according to the Bible, others interpret the same passages differently. Even if we could prove God inspired every word in the Bible (God controlling what writers thought and recorded), we should always question interpretations since biblical scholars interpret differently the same passages. Supposed inspired interpretations lead others away from God.
But when we don’t assume God inspired the Bible, interpretations are more likely to become discussions rather than definitive declarations about God.
Supposed inspired interpretations lead to violence
The challenge is many interpret their inspired Book as God being violent or advocating violence. This has led to imitating or justifying violence in the name of a perfect loving God. We can’t prove God controlled the writers’ thoughts to always understand God perfectly. We should always question if God really inspired the writers’ thoughts if contradictory of a loving God.
Many interpret the Quran or the Bible advocating killing Jews or condemning gays, because Allah or God supposedly approves such actions. Many don’t acknowledge their interpretation could be wrong. God supposedly orders Israel to commit hundreds of atrocities in the OT – “… put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys” (I Sam. 15:3). God’s possible justification of violence can lead to advocating capital punishment, blowing up abortion clinics, or unnecessary wars in the name of God.
Did God really “say” death for cursing, gathering sticks, etc.
When it comes to many of the laws, the OT claims God spoke these words (Exodus 20:1). Biblical writers rarely claim audible God-speak. “God said” recorded hundreds of times in the Bible is most likely a figure of speech expressing inner impressions or understandings about God – right or wrong. We can’t be sure the writers heard inner God’s voice correctly?
Did God really mandate whoever curses their parents be put to death (Ex. 21:17)?
Did God really mandate to death a man gathering sticks on the Sabbath (Num 15:32-36)?
Did God really require death for adultery (Lev 20:10)? That’s a lot of bodies today
Did God really command whoever does work on the Sabbath be put to death (Ex 31:15)?
Did God really command death for those who blaspheme the name of the Lord (Lev 24:16)?
Inspired interpretations lead to wrong views of God
Supposed inspired interpretations give the wrong image of God, thus turning others away from God. Ancient literature subject to interpretation cannot be the definitive word on truth. The truth is biblical scholars who have a deep respect for Scriptures don’t agree what the Bible says about hell, women, gays and other moral issues. See here. See here.See here. Gays are often condemned, women’s leadership roles are limited despite their gifts, and infidels face a torturous afterlife – all declared to be true in God’s name. People often reject God because of such claims made about God.
We quit using our moral intuitions, therefore possible trusting wrong interpretations
Many who claim that God inspired all written in the Bible to be true about God suggests we are made in God’s image. (Gen 1:27) If God is good, this suggests God created us with an inborn sense of good and evil. Self-evident rights aren’t hidden in the Bible or any Book. Even the Bible suggests we aren’t morally clueless. We are encouraged to be perfect like God (Mt. 5:48) or follow God’s example. (Eph 5:1). When we don’t assume God inspired the Bible, we are more likely to use common moral sense when interpreting the Bible. I admit my views could be wrong.
What is the path forward?
The Bible still can inspire useful thinking about God. The Bible is God’s story beginning with Israel and culminating with the life of Jesus that we don’t possess in other documents. God may have inspired/encouraged the writers to write but didn’t necessarily approve of everything written about God. When reading the Bible, contemplate what a loving God is really like. Enjoy what God is trying to reveal to you about your Creator and how to treat others.
A Book must not replace our relationship with God and common moral sense. Questioning the Bible may lead to knowing God better! Interpretations about God’s love, that don’t match how you and most know you ought to love your neighbor, may be amiss. Consider how to go the extra mile. Consider what actions might possibly lead to reconciliation or change in hearts if others open. The Bible is valuable because it suggests handling challenges from a spiritual than human perspective. How can we live a life of love and treating others like we want to be treated?
Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like
When it comes to Christianity with all its different denominations, interpretations, different versions of the Bible and such, it seems there are always times when we run into conflict with others.
Each of us as brothers or sisters in Christ seem to want it our way. Our church, our interpretation, our version of the Bible. We each feel that we are right and feel the need to distance ourselves from those who feel differently.
Have you noticed how religion wants to set the rules so each of us know what it takes to be a good Christian? Do this, don’t do that, stay away from this and make sure you participate in that. Be in every service and be active with this group or that group. If you are not reading a particular version of the Bible, you are just wasting your time, if you are not part of a church, you must be backslidden, at least that is the way some fellow Christians make you feel. Rules, rules, rules.
Maybe it is time to stop arguing over denominations, interpretations, versions, and church attendance and start focusing on Christ, who is to be our first love. If we can focus on God’s love and sharing that love with others, we should be able to agree to disagree on other topics.
When we find common ground in our faith in Christ, when we love God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind, we should be able to look past the minor differences we have in our various denominations, interpretations and Bible versions.
Let’s stop fighting against each other and begin to love one another as Christ loves us. Do not let the minor differences come between the love we can have for one another and the things we can share and learn through fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
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Michael Donahoe was added as a writer for Done with Religion as his views fit perfectly with those that are shared on this site. He and his wife have been outside the walls of religion for fifteen years. He enjoys writing about his experiences and thoughts, and he wants to encourage others who are going through the religious deconstruction process. He also writes on Substack at https://deconstructiontrail.substack.com/ and https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/
Don’t take personally whether your child adopts your spiritual views or not. It’s their journey. Don’t assume they are being rebellious. There are personal or intellectual reasonable objections to not believe in God. Be careful how you portray God. Our mental views of God shape our attitudes toward God. Have a plan how you want to turn your child toward and not away from God. See link below for more elaboration.
Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like
When Charlie Kirk was recently assassinated, it has been said or implied that God is somehow responsible for taking Charlie in his own time. The problem with this thought is that it dissolves others from evil and lays evil at the feet of God.
Why didn’t God intervene miraculously?
It has been claimed that God supposedly intervene in saving Trump, but God didn’t save Corey Comperatore. Mr. Comperatore was the gentleman who shielded his family from being shot and was killed at the July 13 rally. Miracle proclamations only lead to implying God didn’t care to save his life for some unknown/mysterious reason. It implies God only cares to spare certain people from being murdered or raped but not others. I doubt God’s love is so arbitrary.
Many Bible-folks assume God is all-powerful, which demands an answer to why God displays Their power or not. Why God acts arbitrarily isn’t easy to answer if God is truly loving, unless you always blame unanswered prayer due to one’s sins. Often, it is proclaimed God’s ways are higher than ours and God is working it all out for good. Tell that to a woman raped! Logically how can God be all-powerful and humans have some freedom/power? Suffering (prayer unanswered) may be because God cannot intervene single-handedly. Controlling love is an oxymoron. God can’t physically interfere in evil or suffering without human help. See here. Therefore, God doesn’t determine when someone leaves this earth. It was not Charlie’s time to go.
Who is responsible for evil
God isn’t responsible. Guns aren’t to blame. It’s the person who pulls the trigger. It takes time for police to show up. One trained and carrying a gun can often prevent more deaths or their own death. How do you keep bad guys from getting guns illegally. There too many guns to do an all-out ban. At least let’s have an open debate. Charlie Kirk was murdered in cold blood while encouraging conversations with students on a college campus who disagreed with him.
I think there is an overlooked cause in Charlie Kirk’s assassination. Whoever pulled the trigger is totally responsible. But, many morally or mentally challenged people are provoked. Many fan the flames of hate. Some polls suggest millions think political assassination is a solution to those you differ with. Where are such thoughts encouraged? False name-calling can provoke one thinking they are doing the world a favor of ridding of certain individuals. Kirk and others are called Nazis and compared to Hitler. Hitler was condemned for torturing millions of Jews. Is this really true of Mr. Kirk or anyone these days called Hitler? Why are people so afraid to debate and discuss their differences? That is all Charlie Kirk did on college campus.
What is the solution going forward in such a divided nation?
I believe there is a spiritual solution. The world is surely a better place when more people are being influenced by a spiritual force that encourages the golden rule. I am inspired being a Jesus-follower who taught this action
We must respect freedom of speech. Censorship, unless one is citing violence toward another person or people, is not what a republic/democratic society is all above. We must become more open to discussing our differences. All Charlie did was go on campus to have discussions about different opinions. Why are people so opposed to debating their views, instead of trying to censor opinions? Censoring is what really is anti-democratic
Stop with name calling. One isn’t a heretic for having a different interpretation of the Bible than you. One isn’t a misinformer that questions your science or health views – truth in these arenas is a pursuit. It isn’t science if there isn’t debate. It was argued it was misformation to claim Covid vaccines didn’t stop infection and transmission. Hopefully, those who thought that have changed their minds. In politics stop with calling everything a conspiracy. Attack policies not people
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Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like
Condemnation of gays in God’s name is one of the greatest stumbling blocks Christians put in front of those wanting a relationship with God. Stop with “God hates sin, not the sinner.” Being gay isn’t a sin. It never made moral sense to me why God would condemn gays when they can no more chose who they love than straights can. Why would anyone choose to be gay based on the condemnation and bigotry they face? Parents often only condemn their gay children because of their supposed correct interpretation of a Book. We know the psychological harm done when one must hide their sexuality because of bigotry and hostility. One’s interpretation of the Bible is often used to drive others away from God. Many may not be aware that biblical scholars who respect the Bible don’t believe Scriptures condemn gay monogamous relationships. See here. When there is uncertainty in interpretation, shouldn’t we choose the least harmful view? If Christians made this decision, we would see many more drawn to God’s love. Condemnation of gays is one of the greatest stumbling block Christians put in front of those wanting a relationship with God.
Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like
On April 15, 2025 my tennis partner, who is a Doctor, sensed I was off. (More than usual). I typically walk home after the match, but he insisted in driving me home and that I see my regular Doctor. I am so thankful for his urging. I saw my Doctor a day or two later and an MRI was scheduled. Within hours I got a call that I had a tumor in my brain. I had very few symptoms before except minor headaches that I thought nothing of. I was ready to play a third set of tennis that day but my buddies said no. Guess I was acting off/weird. Within days of the MRI, I was scheduled for brain surgery to remove the tumor (April 21). I spent those few days preparing my family, not knowing if I would make it out of the surgery alive or have motor skills severely damaged. Things went very well in terms of the tumor being removed (cancer still remains), The tumor was a severe cancer type. So, I began chemo/radiation treatment shortly after for 6 weeks. I’m in my last week of 6 weeks of treatment.
No, God didn’t CAUSE my tumor!
I hope no one thinks God caused this tumor to teach me a lesson for my sins. I ain’t no saint but I’m kinder than most folks. I have friends who will verify. I know some selfish/evil people that are cancer free. I refuse to believe a loving God using tragedies to punish or teach one a lesson and we remain clueless reasons for such actions. Besides, that assumes God is simply pulling strings to control events in the world. Did God cause this for a greater good. I doubt it. God can’t control how I will react to a tragedy in my life. I could be pissed at God and no good comes of it. Some claim all evil eventually leads to good as if some grand plan by God. Not my God! Ask sexual abuse victims or family members of murdered loved ones if good always comes out of evil.
Or it is claimed we sinners have no right to question a Holy God. I have a God I can doubt, question, get angry with, whatever. That is what a loving parent/God is like. How do I know this? I have been a child of a parent and a parent of children. Why would a Creator create us to have intuitions of what true love is (allowing a child to question) but not be loving themself?
See Does God Really Punish Or We Just Reap What We Sow? Assuming God is in control of punishment makes a mockery of freedom. It is an oxymoron to claim God is in complete control and we humans have freedom. If God does actively punish and carry out wrath, God is letting a whole lot of evil in the world slide. God doesn’t love more those spared than those supposedly punished.
Does God Really Allow Cancer?
It is claimed a mystery how God can allow evil but not be evil. Humans don’t get a free pass if they can stop evil but don’t. Ask sexual abuse victims when their parent knew and did nothing. One might ask why God allows such harm if supposedly all-powerful. Thinking God is all-powerful (thus all-controlling) assumes God can pull strings to make certain things happen (allow). So much for genuine freedom? See God Can’t Stop Your Suffering And Evil!
Thankfully, I don’t entertain such a view of God which has helped having a positive view during all this, though I have many miles to travel in my journey. My silent friend (God), along with family and friends have been a life-saver. You have a lot of internal conversations when waiting for brain surgery or going through cancer. When one believes “God allows” your mind can wander. Why me and not others (is God’s love arbitrary – if God can supposedly control everything), what lesson is God trying to teach me. I never had to go there. I am convinced God isn’t all-powerful.
If we maintain that God limits their Power, this suggests God can do something but doesn’t. We must come up with a better explanation that God simply allows – thus controls – evils but isn’t responsible for such evils. A God who can prevent evil but doesn’t is counter-intuitive to love. No loving parent or God sits idly by when they could prevent tragedies such as rape or murder. Are we to believe God doesn’t care, God is punishing us, or God has abandoned us and left us clueless about the grand plan? God doesn’t just allow your suffering!
God may not be all powerful
It is only natural to believe a Supreme Being, if they exist, is all powerful. Most Christians believe this because of their understanding of the Bible taught in churches they attend but questions arise if God is all-powerful. If God can control everything, why doesn’t God intervene more in medical emergencies, rape, physical abuse, etc. A miracle supposedly saved Trump but not the gentlemen in the front row. I doubt it. God doesn’t pick and choose when to cause or allow suffering.
God can’t be all-powerful if all-loving. Perfect love isn’t controlling. Ask any adult child with a controlling parent. Thomas Oord in his new book defends ably that the Bible doesn’t necessarily claim God is all-powerful and can do anything. See here. God can’t tempt others (Jas. 1:13). It makes no sense to say God can exert all power and creatures can exert some power. I have never understood why God doesn’t stop evil if God can do anything. If “everything happens for a reason” because of God, this would make God responsible for all goodness and all evil. It is claimed a mystery how God can cause or allow evil but not be evil. This isn’t true for humans. Some claim all evil eventually leads to good as if some grand plan by God. Hardly!
What about prayer and miracles?
Many prayers asking for healing are obviously not answered. Are miracles arbitrary – God picking and choosing to bless some and not others? Conditions in our body may not always be right. Various biological and environmental factors are involved such as cells, organs, etc. If God wouldn’t take away your human freedom, it may not be a stretch to say God has to account for natural freedom as well. Miracles can happen when God’s uncontrolling love aligns with countless factors known and not known. God surely intervenes when circumstances will allow. Pray if you like, but God is already working to do all God can to prevent suffering. That’s what perfect Love does! See Why God Doesn’t Answer My Prayers?
I am convinced God is always seeking to intervene when possible. Pray for miracles, but don’t assume God can answer our prayers but doesn’t for some unknown reason. God suffers with us, but the unfortunate truth in a free world is suffering happens, though God is dying to help. We can pray but be more understanding when God can’t answer our prayers. Pray to God for emotional support and encouragement in difficult times. My silent Friend has gotten me through some difficult times when my brain begins to wander.
Did God really choose the Holocast by not responding, including senseless suffering to children in the world?
Do you read the Bible Edwards?
I believe we should assume the Bible isn’t inspired by God. We can’t prove the Bible is or isn’t inspired by God. Besides, the Bible is literature that requires interpretation and we don’t all agree on the correct interpretation even concerning moral issues such as if God condemns gays or not. Many assume inspiration means God approved or controlled all recorded by the writers, especially characterizations of God. Many don’t think of inspiration as meaning that God encouraged or motivated writers/editors to record their understanding of God, thus possible being right or wrong.
See here all my rants on the Bible and why we need to rethink our understanding of the Bible.
So, what good is God?
The only God worth believing in or having a relationship with must be a perfect Lover. God can’t be all-powerful or controlling and be true to God’s nature. Thomas Jay Oord in his books says that so many positive elements can come from affirming a universal, divine Lover. Such a Spirit empowers, inspires, and accompanies us in our relationships with others. God knows and empathizes with us in our suffering. This is what I have experienced. God obviously grieves due to all the evil in the world. God suffered when Jesus was crucified. God suggested through Jesus’ example and words what kind of life lived here on earth can make for a much grander world. My relationship with God, though a silent friend, has carried me so far.
My future
I thought initially that surgery and removing the tumor out of my brain was my greatest danger, when discovered I had a tumor. Thus, why I tried to prepare the family and get financial house in order, as I thought I might not be back. Turns out most don’t die on the surgery table. Motor and physical skills can be damaged, which I didn’t realize as much, but I had a great surgeon. I was only in hospital two days after brain surgery, had brain fog for a week (you had to have 5 PHDs to understand my texts), but I felt pretty good after a week. It does help to be retired. I began radiation and chemo therapy for 6 weeks. So far, no nausea, I can handle the tiredness because I was very active before tumor. I get tired – I get moving. Sitting makes me more tired. My stamina affected but I can change some of my habits to hopefully see my grandchildren become teenagers. I am a cool POPS. I didn’t have a relationship with my grandparents, so I want to get it right as I did as a parent when I had children.
I am walking on the average 2-3 miles a day. Playing tennis two days a week. But, 5 weeks of great fortune with treatment doesn’t guarantee the next week of treatment and thereafter. And it takes some weeks after treatment to recover from tiredness, etc. So the journey ain’t over! I will have an MRI August 6th, a month after treatment to see how much treatment was successful with the cancer. Even if very successful I may be prone to seizers and other medical matters down the road. I could live a year but some with my type of cancer live 10 years or more. We will see. Thank God for God, family, and my friends. Peace!
Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like
I write a lot about this topic as I named my blog over 15 years ago What God May Really Be Like I used the word “May” because I was countering dogmatism growing up in church. Who knows what God is really like unless God talks to you directly? Be humble. But, if you are told something about God that goes against your moral intuitions, question it. Most accept God is love.
How do we best determine what God love like
There is a problem claiming the Bible is the definitively word on what God’s love is like. Ancient literature is subject to interpretation. Even if the writers understood their God perfectly, which we can’t prove, we can’t claim our interpretations are perfect. The truth is biblical scholars who have a deep respect for the Bible don’t agree what God thinks about gays, women, hell, and other moral issues. See here. See here.See here. Gays are supposedly condemned, women’s leadership roles are limited, despite their gifts and a fiery torturous afterlife awaits infidels – all in God’s name!
Why wouldn’t God be most like what our moral intuitions suggest. Our inborn sense of good and evil, not an ancient Book, tells us sexual abuse or murder is immoral. If a Creator exists, it is only intuitive that a Creator loves the ways their creations ought to love one another. We all seem to know the question we ought to ask ourselves – am I loving others perfectly? Or am I loving others like I want to be loved. Many times, when one believes contrary to universal moral intuitions (infidels should be destroyed in this life), it is because of their interpretation of a supposed inspired Book by their God.
Surely, perfect human love is the same as Godly love
The only God worth believing in must be perfectly loving as opposed to in any way hateful. God’s love surely is the same as supreme parents – other-directed not self-consumed. Love gets excited when we do well and make a difference in the lives of others. Love anticipates, hopes for my success, believes in me, pulls for me even when failing, because I do the same for my children. We doubt God but God still loves. Parents bring children into the world hoping their children freely reciprocate their love for authentic relationships. Why would God be any different.
How you imagine God’s love can determine how you relate to others
If we think God is hard to please and pissed off about sin rather than what sin is doing to us, we may judge others just as harshly rather than showing patience and mercy
If God is really a warlike God according to the OT, we will use such behaviors to possibly justify going to war when we shouldn’t
If God condemns gays, we will condemn gays out of devotion to God
If God thinks men have authority over women in some positions, that will filter down to your wives, daughters, and friends and stifle their gifts
If God can prevent evil and doesn’t, isn’t that like a parent who arbitrarily decides to watch their child being sexually abused or not? Maybe God can’t love perfectly by controlling freedom. God can only stop evil with the help of others or not create freedom!
I’m convinced belief in a benevolent God, according to common moral intuitions, makes you kinder. We often treat others the way we think God treats us. How has God’s threats of punishment helped you break away from bad habits or behaviors you long to change? I guess fear God if helps to avoid consequences of destructive actions. But if struggling and need encouragement and mercy, a loving God awaits with open arms. Grace or authoritativeness doesn’t guarantee change, but I believe we best change because of a friend’s or God’s love and acceptance. See It Matters If Your God Is Nurturing Or Authoritative!
Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like
We can’t be certain about God’s true character much less if God exist. Whether one believes in a God has an obvious faith component. Let’s not accuse those who believe in a God as needing a crutch or accuse those, who question the reality of an invisible God, as being wicked and ignorant of their feelings. If wrong to doubt God exists, Christians sin if doubt God in tough times. Christians are wrong a lot and destroy relationships by being so damn certain!
The illusion of “certainty” may be the greatest reason we fail living by the golden rule
It requires some faith that a loving God is real. Feelings aren’t visible proof. Trusting there is such a God is no different than flying. We can’t be sure the plane won’t crash – we fly because we have reasonable faith that all safety precautions have been performed to land safely. Many God-followers or leaders seem hell-bent in telling people what to believe about God according to their interpretation of the Bible. Politicians seem hell-bent in claiming certainty regarding policies such as climate change, though there are reasonable arguments on both sides of the aisle. Open-minded uncertainty could go a long way to healing our nation and personal relationships.
Why might we love certainty?
Many find comfort psychologically in certainty rather than uncertainty. One may believe the seemingly certain narrative because unknowing can create anxiety. Also, disagreeing with friends or those in leadership about God’s character can lead to conflict and loneliness due to isolation. It doesn’t matter if those who proclaim certainty have good intentions or believe their ideas are right about God. Unless we are talking about universal accepted evilness such as rape, openness is critical in case we are wrong.
What is the path towardtruth in an uncertain world
What actions in relationships should guide us? Perfect ones of course. We may not always know what perfect love is, but we somehow know we ought to love others like we want to be loved. A parent’s perfect love surely is the same as God’s love. I don’t know one person, whether a church-goer or not, that doesn’t think any God worth believing in must be a perfect, loving God. Even atheists would agree if they thought a Supreme Being existed. The Bible even implies such an idea: “Be perfect, therefore as your heavenly Parent is perfect” (Mt. 5:48). We still must decide what perfect love is, but God surely didn’t create us to be totally clueless.
Why doesn’t God reveal more certainty?
Billions of lives have been harmed by the Bible not being clearer that slavery or restricting women’s roles, etc. are certainly wrong. The only rationalization I know at this time why God seems so hidden is that God’s awing or overwhelming presence may only lead to fearful obligations to obey. The road traveled of learning, reflecting, and not being pressured may best lead to lasting convictions and more meaningful relationships. But God doesn’t get enough credit for communicating through our moral senses. There is almost universal belief that we ought to love one another how we want to be loved. Evils such as rape, sexual abuse, murder, stealing, etc. are universal beliefs. We don’t always know how to love best but we aren’t morally clueless.
Uncertainty can lead to acting more loving.
Truth is often not known but to be pursued. If you find one rational person that has a difference of opinion from your own, you should consider their opinion. I don’t care if it concerns the safety of vaccines, climate solutions, whether Hell literally exist, or if God condemns gays. We often don’t recognize what doesn’t work in our personal relationships always doesn’t work in the public arena. Partners who act as if they are always right and their partner is wrong are headed toward divorce or a sucky relationship. Having good intentions by believing you are right for the whole doesn’t matter when certainty isn’t universal. Being unable to declare the certainty or morality of our opinions forces us to listen and express ideas openly that can lead to the greater good. God doesn’t attempt to force but influence us to make choices with the interest of others in mind.
Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com
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