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Archive for the ‘Acceptance of Others’ Category

God is Like Jesus, Loving and Kind

Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Jesus follower, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , on December 19, 2023|

by Jim Gordon

I grew up in the traditional church environment and followed the religious teachings and doctrines over the years. I have seen a lot of things that I now question and wonder why things were done that way.

Over the years many of us have come to see God as a big super human person sitting on a big throne up in heaven just waiting to punish us for our mistakes. We see God as being impersonal, judgmental and many times as someone to fear.

Yet when we think about the life of Christ and know he was sent from God to show us what God is really like we come to see God in a different way. When we read about how Jesus lived and treated people, we see him as loving, compassionate, kind and accepting. Jesus came to show us that God is the same way.

After Jesus left this life on earth God sent the Holy Spirit to live within us. Think about it, God in Spirit form lives within us and among us right now. God is not a super human person way up there somewhere but is Spirit and is right here within us.

God is not out to get us and punish us every time we mess up. I think God gets a bad reputation from some of the writings in the bible. I believe men, although they were inspired by God threw in some of their personal views. Obviously if you were inspired by someone to write a book you would still write it from your perspective. Anything man has a hand in is going to be flawed. The bible is inspired by God and when combined with the leading of the Holy Spirit is purposeful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, and in guiding us to the living Word of God who is Jesus.

Rather than running around being afraid of God and waiting for the judgment of God to fall, look at Jesus and see that God is love. Whenever correction is needed it is only for our good and it is done in love. Just as a loving parent sometimes corrects their child it is done in love and for the child’s own good. We are not waiting to be destroyed by a God who loves judgment and condemnation. We are living with a God who is love, who created us and who wants the best for us during our time on earth.

Stop being afraid of God and seek fellowship. If you hear a pastor telling you that God is out to get you and that you had better shape up or else, get away from there and find brothers and sisters in Christ who will be encouragers and who will help build you up rather than condemn and scare you. Fear of judgment will not lead you into a loving relationship with God. Only true, godly love will be what draws us into fellowship with God. God is love. For those of us who are followers of Jesus we should also be known for our love. As Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-39, And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Live a godly life by loving people. Rather than being known for judgment, condemnation, hatred and what you are against, show the love of God. Be kind to all people and be known for your love of your fellow human beings.

Jim Gordon and his wife left the institutional church after spending over fifty years within the system. Jim wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system and why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. Jim can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com

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What Is The Greatest Sin Of All? What All Religions Must Agree About God!

Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, religion, tagged , , , , , , , on December 17, 2023|

By Mike Edwards

Okay! Murder, physical or sexual abuse, torture, etc. are horrific. But there is another deadly relationship killer that may not be as obvious. I am not fond of the word sin. God obviously hates evil when one has no regrets harming others, but God hates the sin more than the sinner. I doubt God disgustingly refer to us as sinners under their breathe when we regret our actions, when we struggle to change habitual patterns that are not in our best interest. Hardly a day doesn’t go by that I don’t live up to the standard I have set for myself. God only desires what we know we ought to desire for ourselves and others. God simply wants to come along aside to support and encourage.

The greatest sin may be not treating others like you want to be treated 

Previously, I wrote that God’s greatest desire is for us to treat others like we want to be treated. See here.  Jesus was asked what was the most important law by a religious-type (Mark 12:28-34). Religion-keepers try to stay in power by declaring all their rules are God’s rules. Jesus simply said to love God and love others as yourself. Jesus wasn’t claiming God was egotistical, only that loving God is the same as loving others like you want to be loved. Jesus wasn’t saying what hoops to jump through to be loved by God. Jesus was encouraging a lifestyle to pursue with God’s help. 

The sin of certainty may be the greatest way we fail living by the golden rule 

We are all tempted to insist we are right and the other side if wrong. Couples acting this way are headed toward divorce. God-followers and religious leaders seem hell-bent in telling people what they must believe about God according to their understanding and interpretation of the Bible. Politicians seem hell-bent in claiming certainty regarding policies such as climate change and immigration, though there are reasonable arguments on both sides of the aisle. Open-minded uncertainty, rather than supposed certainty, could go a long way to healing our nation and personal relationships. Stop condemning gays or insisting on certain women roles/dress according to your understanding. Imagine if you were gay or a woman and ask how you would want to be treated!

Why are people so damn certain? 

  • Christians often claim those who support gay marriages are heretics. They claim their truth because the Bible says so. They fail to understand ancient literature is subject to interpretations and biblical scholars don’t agree that God condemns gays. See here.
  • Why do politicians claim certainty other than to gain votes? Covid shots were mandated though there were disagreements in the beginning that the Shots prevented infection and transmission. They didn’t! Politicians may claim certainty to avoid arguing their “truth” to convince others
  • Individuals fall in love with certainty. If certain beliefs about God are challenged, what other beliefs they were taught could be wrong? Uncertainty can increase anxiety, but certainty leads to forcing “supposed” truths onto others. 

Uncertainty doesn’t result in lawlessness 

Who doesn’t believe rape is wrong unless a terrorist? Of course, terrorists who rape believe their partner shouldn’t be raped. It is often said we best know God according to “biblical truths.” The truth is contrary biblical interpretations exist for many moral issues. See here. I don’t know any reasonable God or non-God person that doesn’t respect the golden rule in relationships. Certain laws are just common, moral sense. Who doesn’t believe physical or sexual abuse is wrong? Different opinions, such as immigration or climate matters expressed without physical or verbal aggression, can stand side by side as we continually evaluate the most loving approach. Open discussions can steer us away from demanding “supposed truths.”

Changing for the future 

  • We must first stop claiming our views are morally superior to those we disagree with unless speaking of universal accepted moral truths
  • We must handle differences with physical and emotional civility
  • We can begin conversations by looking for areas we agree
  • We can discuss differences by defending our reasoning, respecting the opinions of others, and commit to growing in understanding
  • In a democratic society, which is better than the rule of those in power, the vote of the majority must be followed until voted on again 

What Is The Greatest Sin Of All? What All Religions Must Agree About God!

MikeEdwardsprofilepic125

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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What Christianity Must Avoid Having In Common With Bad Religions!

Posted in Acceptance of Others, Bible, christian living, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2023|

By Mike Edwards

I don’t desire to offend anyone’s Religion, only bad beliefs. In this post, I will compare the Muslim’s and Christian’s supposed inspired Book, the Quran or Bible. I am not suggesting all Muslims or Christians share the same interpretations of their Book, but enough of either faith believe their God respectively either condemns Jews or gays. A believer naturally shows devotion and obedience to God by imitating their understanding of God according to the Book they considered inspired by God.

The dangers in assuming a Book is inspired by one’s God 

The Quran and Bible seemingly make controversial statements describing what God is like. The Quran is interpreted by many Muslims that God condemns Jews, even suggesting they are the enemy. See here. The Bible is interpreted by many Christians that God condemns gays by suggesting they will not enter the kingdom of God either here on earth or in the afterlife (I Cor. 6:9). The danger isn’t what a Book might say, but whether one assumes everything written about God is inspired by God. One cannot prove prophets or writers always understood God perfectly. It isn’t presumptuous to imagine what a loving God is like through our moral consciences. See here.

Bad religions assume infidels must be killed according to their God 

Both Books are said to refer to those not of their faith as infidels who must be killed either in this life or the afterlife. Many Muslims interpret the Quran to advise Jews must believe in their God or be killed even in this life. I am not aware those of the Christian faith suggesting such aggressions toward infidels in this life. But many Christians believe those who don’t accept Jesus in this life will enter a fiery, torturous existence in the afterlife. I can see how one might see both threats sharing some commonalities.

Christians must reject Hell for this reason. A God who advocates lighting an infidel on fire and not even allowing it to burn out, either in this life or the life to come, is not a loving God. Christians should reject Hell for biblical and moral reasons. See here.  Christians should reject Hell to avoid any comparisons to any religion that argue for death to infidels in this life or the life to come. Now, when one meets their Creator and rejects living a loving/godly life, I can see them being allowed to pass on into final death. It is just as reasonable, if not more reasonable, to believe a loving God that is able to create will take forever, if necessary, to save everyone from themselves. See here.

What is good religion?

We are free to speculate what a loving God is like, as a Book that may not be inspired and is subject to interpretation cannot be the definitive word on God. It is only intuitive that a Creator loves the ways their creations ought to love one another. God’s nature doesn’t allow giving up on infidels even after their last breath. Even imperfect human parents wouldn’t cut off a child who eventually accepts they must love others like they want to be loved. Go ahead and live like Hell while here on earth! Careful the regrets you, your family, and friends will feel at the end of your life. Careful that our character developed here on earth may make the change process longer and more painful in the life to come. All good religions have in common that we must strive to treat others like you want to be treated or you don’t have a God worth believing in!

What Christianity Must Avoid Having In Common With Bad Religions!

MikeEdwardsprofilepic125

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?

Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , , on December 5, 2023|

by Michael Donahoe

I know there is always a debate this time of year about how we greet people during the Christmas season. Yet, just because we live in the United States, we need to remember that there are several other holiday celebrations going on here in the states and around the world. Following are a few of the more known holiday celebrations going on during or near this time of year:

Bodhi Day

Also known as Rohatsu, this Buddhist tradition honors the day in which the Buddha—Siddartha Gautauma—is said to have achieved enlightenment. Many Buddhists celebrate it through meditation.

Hanukkah

Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday that’s celebrated for eight days and nights, beginning on the 25th day of the Jewish month of Kislev. The Jewish calendar is based on the lunar cycle, so Hanukkah can fall anywhere from November 28th to December 26th. “This holiday commemorates the rededication of the holy Temple in Jerusalem following the Jewish victory over the Syrian-Greeks in 165 B.C.E.” People celebrate Hanukkah by lighting their menorahs, spinning dreidels and eating delicious foods!

Eid al-Fitr

A joyous occasion that is often celebrated with feasts, gifts, and special prayers. Other important December holidays for Muslims include the Prophet Muhammad’s birthday, known as Mawlid al-Nabi, and the Day of Ashura, which is a day of fasting and reflection.

Winter Solstice

For Pagans, December means the holiday of Yule is coming! It falls on December 21st, which marks the winter solstice; which is the shortest day and longest night of the year. The winter solstice celebrates the rebirth of the sun, because days get longer from then on out.

Las Posadas

From December 16th through December 24th, Las Posadas is celebrated by some Hispanic families in the United States. It’s a nine-day celebration before Christmas, beginning with a procession with candles, songs and sometimes even people playing the parts of Mary and Joseph who led the parade. Every night of Las Posadas is celebrated with gifts, piñatas, song, parties, tamales and prayer.

Christmas

For most of us here in the United States, Christmas is being celebrated on December 25. For Christians, it is the time we celebrate the birth of Jesus into our world. For others, it is a time of family celebration and the enjoyment of exchanging gifts with one another.

Kwanzaa

In the United States, roughly five million people celebrate Kwanzaa each year! Kwanzaa is a seven-day holiday that celebrates African culture. It begins on December 26th and ends on January 1st. On the sixth day of Kwanzaa, there’s a Kwanzaa Karamu, which is a big feast. Gifts of Kuumba (creativity) are given to loved ones. Kwanzaa’s also celebrated through lighting the Kinara, performing and listening to traditional music and discussing African principles and history.

Zarathosht Diso

Founded by the Prophet Zoroaster more than 3,000 years ago, Zoroastrianism is one of the world’s oldest monotheistic religions. Zoroastrians honor the death of their prophet on this day, typically by visiting a fire temple and offering prayers.

Diwali

While this holiday falls a little bit before the rest, Diwali, or the Festival of Lights, is a five-day long Hindu holiday celebrating life and the victory of good over evil. Taking place in October or November, each day of Diwali has a different legend it celebrates, but the holiday is filled with fireworks, feasts and family. The date of Diwali is determined based on the Hindu lunisolar calendar.

Chinese New Year

The Chinese New Year is celebrated for 15 days, beginning on the first day of the lunar new year. The 15th day of the new year is the Lantern Festival, which is celebrated at night with a parade. The Chinese New Year marks the end of winter and the beginning of Spring and is a time to be spent with family and loved ones, eating and enjoying time together.

There is nothing wrong with saying Merry Christmas, yet sometimes it may be more appropriate when around people you do not know to say Happy Holidays. I do not think this should be considered a war on Christmas, rather it is being kind and respectful to others. So, during this holiday season, think outside of the Christmas box and appreciate all of the other holidays celebrated during the most wonderful time of the year!

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Michael Donahoe was added as a writer as his views fit perfectly with those of Done with Religion. He also writes on Substack at https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/

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Can We Prove Spiritual Things?

Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Jesus follower, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2023|

by Jim Gordon

Have you noticed how often people get offended and feel they need to prove their point on so many topics and online posts: It usually does not go well once that starts, especially when it comes to spiritual and biblical topics.

We fail to realize that not everyone has the same interpretation as another. We also fail to realize the fact that we cannot prove most of what we believe.

We can fight and argue between christian and atheist, one christian denomination and another, among Jewish, Christian, Islam and a host of other religions. We can argue about whether there is or there is not a God, is there a hell or not, what this verse means or what that verse means. We get mad and defensive when someone goes against what we believe and do our best to prove our view is right.

Thing is, we cannot prove our point. We cannot prove God exists, we cannot prove there is a heaven or a hell, we cannot prove any other aspect of the spiritual existence. This life is a life of faith and belief. As christians, we have faith that God is there and he loves us. We have faith in the guidance of the Spirit within us.

On the other hand, no one can prove there is not a God, there is not a heaven, or there is not a hell. Yet we will fight and argue until we almost hate each other trying to prove our way of thinking.

We do not have to fight and argue to defend God. Rather than making ourselves look like mean, hateful people who have to be right, we should be showing the love of God to everyone. Show that love to those who agree with us and also to those who are a hundred percent sure in their minds that we are wrong.

To be sure, we cannot have this kind of love and acceptance in our own strength. God says we are the temple of the Holy Spirit, and it is God’s love that flows out of us. Only through the strength of the Spirit can love those who live differently, who think differently, those who want nothing to do with God and those who may be our enemies.

We can have our own way of thinking, our own beliefs and interpretations, knowing that God created each of us differently. Yet we need to remember we are not right on everything, and for sure we are not always going to agree with one another. We can all learn something by listening and communicating with others.

We all have a right to believe what and how we want to believe. People can put their faith in God or not. We can have completely different lifestyles. We can have a completely different interpretation on bible verses or we can completely reject the bible and not believe anything about it, and it is OK. Jesus did not tell us to judge and condemn others for what they believe. He did not say to force our views and beliefs on others, but He did say to love one another.

We are not called to make people believe like us, or believe in God at all. We are called to go into the world and live the gospel message that God loves and accepts us. Jesus came to restore fellowship between humanity and God. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we are to love and accept others just as they are.

We can have our individual beliefs and interpretations, and we do not have to agree with everyone. Love and acceptance do not mean agreement. We can love and accept others just because they are loved by God. We were all created in His image. We can have our differences and still accept and care for those God brings into our lives each day.

Jim Gordon and his wife left the institutional church after spending over fifty years within the system. Jim wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system and why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. Jim can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com

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Morality Cannot be Legislated by Politics

Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Jesus follower, Kingdom of God, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , , on November 3, 2023|

by Jim Gordon

We Christians seem to think that we can make everything better by voting the right politicians into office and passing the right laws. We seem to think that we can actually legislate morality. We have our pet doctrines and think with the right people in office or the right laws passed, the world would be a better place.

We think if we can get the democrats out and the republicans in, or the other way around, things will improve. By posting the ten commandments on the courthouse wall, putting prayer back in school, or keeping ‘In God We Trust’ on our money, things will be better.

The trouble with this way of thinking is, it does not work. We cannot legislate “Christian” values based on what we think is morally right. First, here in the USA we have freedom of religion. This means everyone is free to practice the religion they want to follow, and no one can force their particular religion on others. Second, when trying to follow Christian principals, we are all subject to interpretations and whose to actually follow. Third, rules and laws do not change the inner person.

There is no political party that is going to make everything OK. It is useless to condemn one political party or the other when neither party is going to have the answers that makes everything better.

We get so caught up on what a political party or politician can supposedly do, yet, no human is going to come up with the answer to solve all our problems. Nothing will change until we come to realize that God is within us, and it is by the power of the Spirit that we can love others. It is the change in us that can bring change to the world.

We should be praying for our leaders, no matter which party they belong too. Although we pray for them and respect their position, we should not be placing our hope in any political party. Political parties are made up of human beings who are imperfect. Truthfully, most often they are only looking out for their political agenda and financial well-being.

We need to forget the allegiance we seem to think we need to political parties and seek first God’s Kingdom. Realize the Spirit of God lives within us and we are actually living in the Kingdom right now. Listen for the voice and guidance of the Holy Spirit, and love others no matter who they are or what they think. We are not going to change people by voting in politicians and making new laws. Only by loving people, accepting them as they are, and showing them the love of God by our actions will we make any real impact on our world.

Jim Gordon and his wife left the institutional church after spending over fifty years within the system. Jim wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system and why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. Jim can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com

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Simple Acts of Kindness Can Make a Difference

Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Community, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , , , on October 26, 2023|

by Michael Donahoe

In a day when tempers seem to flare more often and people seem to be less kind to others, it does not take much to make a difference in the life of someone you meet.

We hear on the news and social media the acts of rage, discrimination, meanness, lack of respect and overall disregard for other human beings.

We have racial discrimination, exclusion of the LGBTQ family, gender discrimination, and on and on it goes. Yet underneath all the labels are human beings who are loved by God and are to be loved by us.

My feeling is, no matter what you think is right or wrong, whichever way you choose to live your life, there is no reason to treat others with judgment and condemnation and there is no reason to force your way of living on others. Being respectful, kind and accepting of others does not mean we always agree. We can treat others with kindness and as equals and still stick with our individual beliefs.

Being nice to people can change their attitude and outlook for the day. Giving others a smile, respect, doing a simple act of kindness can touch someone who is frustrated, depressed or just losing hope in the whole human race.

Rather than always being against someone or trying to force your views and way of life on others, put aside your personal beliefs when it comes to others and treat them with kindness and respect. To me that is following the example of Jesus and a way of encouraging a fellow human being who can then pass it along to others.

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Michael Donahoe was added as a writer as his views fit perfectly with those of Done with Religion. He also writes on Substack at https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/

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Social Media

Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Love of God, tagged , , , , , on October 19, 2023|

It Can Cause Much Hatred

by Michael Donahoe

I have watched with displeasure at times the discussions and comments on Social Media. This is a common way of communication these days and it is very easy to be bold and argumentative while using it. We express our thoughts and feelings in a much meaner way than we would if we were face to face.

I think most people find that sitting in front of a computer screen gives a sense of boldness and openness to express themselves in ways that are not always a good thing. I think there is something about not being in the presence of someone or seeing their facial expressions that emboldens us and allows our mean side to come out.

To me it is the same feeling you can get when you get behind the wheel of a car. All of a sudden we seem to be in attack mode. We blow our horn at others, yell and curse and flip people off, yet if we walked by them on the street we would probably smile and say hello.

There is something about face to face communication that usually changes the way we talk to and treat others. Face to face communication seems to take away the meanness we usually find with social media communication. Looking someone in the face, being in their presence seems to soften the way we talk and respond.

Why is it we cannot see the human being behind the computer screen? Why is it we feel the meanness, and an emboldened power to treat others with contempt? Remember Jesus said to love not only those who love you, but to love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.

There is nothing wrong with social media and communicating through it. Just keep in mind that there is another human being on the other end, and even though we are not in their physical presence the things we say and the way we react has an impact on them. Let us make it a point to have a positive, encouraging impact when we communicate with others.

The way of Jesus is the way of love. Whether it be online or in person we are to love our neighbors. In our world today living in love is becoming rare. Yet by doing so, it will be noticed and it will make a difference in the lives of those who are hurting and so desperately looking for love and acceptance from their fellow human beings.

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Michael Donahoe was added as a writer as his views fit perfectly with those of Done with Religion. He also writes on Substack at https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/

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Going to church or Not – We are All in Christ

Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Community, institutional church, Love of God, The church, tagged , , , , , , on October 12, 2023|

by Jim Gordon

We know when the word church is used most of the time we are talking about the modern-day, organized religious organization that people attend on Saturday or Sunday. The traditional organized church with its many programs, leaders, pastors, rules and regulations.

People attend church for various reasons such as out of obligation, guilt, social purposes or because they have always gone to church. Yet, many people attend church because they love being around other believers, they love worship and they enjoy participating. The thing to remember is whether we go or not has nothing to do with being a follower of Jesus.

We forget that the Church is not a building or an institution but a community of people who love God and love one another. Whether in a church building or out of the organization, we are all one body with Christ as the head.

I think an issue today among many of us who have left the organized church is that we feel those who are still involved in church and those who think differently than us are wrong. Often times we even seem to be enemies. This is absolutely wrong and not the correct way of thinking.

Sometimes those of us outside of church start thinking we are further along in our walk with God than those who still attend church. This is a bad attitude to have. We should be loving and accepting of those who are our brothers and sisters in Christ no matter if they attend church or not. Just as those who faithfully attend church should not look down on those who have left the organized system, looking at them as if they are backsliders or have lost their faith. God will lead each of us by the Spirit in the way we are to live.

The important thing is our love for God and for one another. No matter what we do on Sunday mornings, whether we attend a church building or love God from outside the walls, our goal is to decrease to self, our desires and plans, and allow God to increase and love others through us.

Jim Gordon and his wife left the institutional church after spending over fifty years within the system. Jim wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system and why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. Jim can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com

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Why Can’t We Discuss Our Political, Science, Or Religious Differences?

Posted in Acceptance of Others, Bible, christian living, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2023|

By Mike Edwards

Our world seems so divided. Christians often label others heretics if they don’t believe there is a literal Hell or that God doesn’t condemns gays. Hardly a conversation starter. Science seems to have followed in Religion’s footsteps. Those who question if Covid shots are as safe and effective as claimed are labeled anti-vaxers, though they may have gotten the flu vaccine for years. In politics opponents are labeled a racist or conspiracist without proof. If you avoid discussions when others aren’t acting irrational, I would love to hear your thoughts as to why. My email is at the end.

Why Christians may suck at discussing differences

I will use myself as an example unfortunately. It’s not meant to be an excuse. I believed decades ago that God condemned gays though they could no more control their attractions than straights. I was wrong. See here.  I used to believe God sent those who didn’t have the right kind of faith while here on earth to a fiery, torturous afterlife. I was wrong. See here.  I am convinced the only reason I believed as I did was because of my understanding of the Bible. How could I be devoted to God if I didn’t follow the Bible’s teachings? Christians may not listen to different beliefs because they assume their interpretation or a biblical writer’s understanding of God is right. Stay openminded!

How we discuss our opinions is important 

We often are busy thinking we are right and preparing our response than listening. There are obvious reasons to avoid discussions with certain people. It is difficult to talk to others if they don’t control their emotions or convey they are right and you are wrong. We can’t have discussions with those who are rude or close-minded. But disagreements are normal in relationships. We can’t always prove what we believe is true about God. We can’t claim without debate if Covid shots or all the childhood vaccines are as safe as claimed. We can’t claim without debate if our climate control measures are best for the most human flourishing. But there may be deeper reasons why we avoid discussions with those who have different beliefs.

Societal influences can discourage discussion

News or information outlets one listen’s to may only report one viewpoint for whatever reason and imply other views are conspiracy. It is best to be aware of both sides of a different belief to decide for yourself. Church leadership often imply contra views to their own are heresy. Threats of being excommunicated, censored by authorities, or losing your job are real. The solution is for all to be free to discussion opinions openly without threats. If you know the “truth,” why be afraid to defend your view!

Most humans desire to integrate with a group, get along with its members, and benefit from them. The loner must fend for themselves. Both disagreeing with the perceived popular science narrative or disagreeing with church leadership about God’s character can lead to isolation or being ostracized.  Being your own person is a tough business. Thriving societies must support individuals being allowed to form their own opinions when universal agreement isn’t obvious. Misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with your own. You may end up being wrong!

The fear of uncertainty can discourage discussion

Certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. One may believe what seems to be the popular narrative because unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. One can avoid anxiety by not discussing their beliefs with others who believe differently. I imagine most Leaders prefer being seen as knowing (certain) than not knowing (uncertain). For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create anxiety about what other beliefs may be in question. Questioning if the Covid shots are as safe and effective if we have gotten the shots, can raised anxiety about our health. What if we pushed others to get the shots and we end up wrong? There may be an easy out. We sometimes trust those in authority, but we may come to realize such trust was misplaced.

What are the consequences of avoiding uncertainty?

The science often changes with further investigation. Many religious beliefs are subject to interpretation of a Book. That is why there are thousands of denominations with their own creeds. Certainty, not uncertainty, can lead others astray if one is wrong. Also, when only one side is presented, control and power grow intentionally or unintentionally. It should be intuitive denying diverse opinions is unloving and controlling. Most don’t except such behaviors in their personal relationships. A refusal to openly discuss or defend one’s views is a denial of personal choice and suggests an unhealthy dependency on “certainty.” Relax! Universal truths exist. What religion denies the main thing – to love and treat others like you want to be treated.

There can be nefarious reasons for preventing discussions 

The most benign explanation for censoring the opinions of others is not necessarily the fear of losing power as much as the fear of losing security (one’s livelihood). In my counseling career, I often questioned the narrative concerning psychotropic medications. A client is owed a discussion of both the risks and benefits of such an intervention for mental healthiness. I didn’t always share my opinion with psychiatrists in charge. I don’t fear conflict. But I am sure I feared potential loss of a job because I was in the minority and low on the totem pole. In politics differing with the perceived popular opinion might not lead to reelection. Pastors risk being kicked out of the pulpit.

The more evil explanation for censoring the opinions of others is one’s desire for control and power over others. Control and power also have financial benefits. Control and power flourish when others are not allowed to discuss alternative opinions in the public arena. Many may fear liability if they admit they are wrong and participated in thwarting discussion. One way to judge one’s motive is by demanding answers as to why one is refusing debate. If you are so sure you are right, why do you fear convincing others? Religion and science are playing God (Superior) in the lives of others by claiming they know the truth and we are too stupid to decide for ourselves!

What is truth?

Openminded people accept they may be wrong. We are more likely to be right when there seems to be almost universal agreement on the topic of concern. Most don’t defend rape, or physical or sexual abuse. Adultery isn’t wrong only in the eyes of the betrayer. But rational people do not agree on matters such as immigration policies, climate policies, marijuana legalization, if God condemns gays, if God inspired all of the Bible, etc. We must be willing to defend our views among one another rather than shut down those we disagree with. Those fortunate enough to live in a democratic society must accept the vote of the majority when comes to law setting. You can still defend your position in hopes of a future vote. May the best, most common-sense position win.

Love surely is the path forward to healthy discussions and debates 

My co-blogger rightly suggest love is the path forward. See here. We can strive to be the better person in conversation. But we have every right to oppose those who refuse to accept uncertainty and fight fairly. This can be done civilly but lack of freedom of speech is important for future generations. Leaders must be held accountable to be open-minded than certain. In our personal lives, we can try to engage with those who insist on certainty when it doesn’t exist but in time one may need to move on. We can stop labeling those who disagree with our biblical interpretations as heretics. We can stop calling those who disagree with our views of science or politics as conspiracists. Imagine how different as a people we would be if religious, science, and political folks talked openly for the common goal of pursing the greater good!

Why Can’t We Discuss Our Political, Science, Or Religious Differences?

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Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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