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Posts Tagged ‘respect’

by Jim Gordon

It is easy to see that people can quickly take a stand on one side or the other of an issue to which they feel strongly.

Many are pro-life and anti-abortion; pro-American and anti-refugee; pro-Christian and anti-Muslim; pro-marriage and anti-LGBTQ, and on and on it goes. Whichever side is taken it can often be very intense.

We all have a right to our opinion and to express our opinion. Yet I do not feel we have the right to express our opinions with judgment, condemnation and hatred.

Many groups of people have suffered judgment and condemnation from those of the Christian belief. It is sad that some who claim to follow the example of Jesus can be so hateful towards people they think are doing life wrong.

My personal belief is that Jesus said to love God and love one another. He never told us to condemn and hate people. Even when we disagree on the topics, we are still to be respectful and loving to everyone.

Love, kindness, respect and accepting people for who they are is the way of Jesus. He never condemned, never hated, never sought revenge. Sure, he often said go and sin no more, yet he never made the person feel terrible and he never followed up making sure that person actually did not sin again.

I feel Jesus said to sin no more because he knew what the effects of sin were on the person. He did not want them to go through the guilt and shame, but wanted them to be free to share his love with others.

Today there are many topics on which people take sides. Many that stir people up to do some very unkind and unloving things. As followers of Jesus we are to go a different route. We are to show his love and acceptance to everyone. We do not need to point out what we feel are sins of others. Not everything is a sin just because some people think it is. God can work in the life of each person to deal with what needs done without us throwing in our two cents. We are only told to love God and love people.

So, go ahead and take a stand on the issues that are important to you. Vote for who you feel will do the best job and give equal rights and fair treatment to all people. Yet do these things with kindness and respect for those who see things differently. Show the love of God to everyone no matter if you agree or not. Love is the way of God and it is to be the way of those who are followers of God.

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by Rocky Glenn

In The World’s Greatest Leadership Principle: How To Become A Servant Leader James Hunter defines love as the act of extending yourself for others by identifying and meeting their legitimate needs and seeking their great good.  We’ve looked at Hunter’s classification of love as a skill as it requires repeated practice, but what does it mean to extend yourself?  Extend means stretch longer or wider to cover a larger space.  In the previous post, we looked at how this extension begins with patience and kindness.  The next three traits require we stretch ourselves further in developing the true skill of love.

Humility

Humility is defined as displaying an absence of pride, arrogance, and pretense.  It is often mistaken as weakness and having a “poor pitiful me” complex.  However, true humility keeps things in perspective knowing its strengths and weaknesses and recognizing all are capable of mistakes.  It produces authenticity as humble people know who they really are, they keep their egos in check, and allow space for uncertainty and the opinions of others, even if contrary to their own.  Because they know they don’t have all the answers, and they’re okay with it, they don’t take themselves too seriously and are even able to laugh at themselves.  In Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis describes humility as follows:

To even get near [humility], even for a moment, is like a drink of cold water to a man in a desert.

Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call “humble” nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody.

Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him.

If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.

This past weekend, the family and I took the opportunity to view A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood which is based on a journalist’s interactions with Fred Rogers for his article assignment.  In the first phone conversation between the two, Fred makes the following statement, “Do you know what the most important thing in the world is to me right now?  Talking on the phone with you.”  This interaction embodies the words of C. S. Lewis above.  To use the definition of love from James Hunter, humility extends itself by taking an interest in others in the moment as it happens.

Respect

Respect is simply treating people like they are important or like they matter.  Genuine respect is felt when originating from a truly humble person.  Being respectful of others includes treating even those we consider insignificant or find challenging with the same consideration of those we consider important or of great stature.  A common misconception about respect is that it must be earned.  Hunter points out respect is not earned, it is given.  I am a systems guy who loves spreadsheets, calculations, and data analysis.  When faced with a decision, I’ve often created pro and con lists both mentally and physically.  Hunter reminds us respect is not earned based upon a spreadsheet tallying someone’s positives and negatives but should be given based simply on the fact of being human and because everyone is important even when we judge someone as behaving poorly or undeserving.

In the aftermath of September 11, 2001, all major U. S. airline companies reported a loss in the third quarter except one.   The employees of Southwest Airlines organized a giveback effort to contribute a portion of their paycheck back to the company to keep it afloat.  What would cause employees to make such a decision for their employer?  Although he had stepped down six months before the dreadful event of that day, twenty-year CEO Herb Kelleher of Southwest Airlines had created a culture within his company: “A company is stronger if it is bound by love rather than by fear.”  This attitude of love and respect was not something Kelleher developed overnight but was instilled in him at an early age by his mother who taught him “that positions and titles mean absolutely nothing.  They’re just adornments; they don’t represent the substance of anybody . . . She taught me that every person and every job is worth as much as any other person and any other job.”

Boxing great Muhammad Ali described respect this way, “I don’t trust anyone who’s nice to me but rude to the waiter. Because they would treat me the same way if I were in that position.”

Selflessness

Selflessness is defined as meeting the needs of others and requires giving of yourself.  It finds its home in the willingness to set aside one’s wants and needs in seeking the greatest good for others and putting others before yourself.  Selflessness is an impossibility without humility and respect.  C. S. Lewis also captured the heart of selflessness in his further words on humility: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”  The nature of selflessness is what allows us to extend ourselves to cover wide spaces others may be unwilling or even unable to cover and cross.

In conclusion, referring once again to Paul’s letter to the Philippians, he reminds them of these three traits of love with the following:

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.  You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

Paul explains this mindset is displayed in the attitude and life of Jesus.  Hunter lists no greater example than Jesus of love and servant leadership.

So, how does this play out in our daily lives?  Do you consider yourself humble, respectful, and selfless?  How do you handle interruptions in your daily tasks or routines?  I’ve written previously of my struggles in this area and room for practicing each of these skills.  Remember, love is not a feeling and not based on our feelings but is a choice we make and exhibit through our behaviors.

On a humorous note, and just to end with a chuckle, I’ve always considered traffic quite a transparent scenario to examine oneself in displaying these qualities.  How selfless are you when in a hurry and others simply won’t get out of the way?  How much humility and respect do you show to drivers who insist on waiting to the last minute to merge or simply refuse to yield?

I’ll be the first to admit I need more practice on each of these skills.

Rocky

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by Rocky Glenn

I recently shared a trio of posts from 2017 detailing Paul’s definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13.  Unbeknownst to me in late September as I was meditating upon Paul’s words and what I had previously written, I was about to embark on a nine to twelve-week training with my company which would cause further reflection on the famous passage.  As part of my employers’ ongoing and relentless commitment to the personal betterment of their staff both professionally and personally, we have been on a journey through James C. Hunter’s The World’s Greatest Leadership Principle: How To Become A Servant Leader.  Hunter concludes leadership skills and character development are one and the same.  He builds his writing upon a foundation of the most sought-after leadership skills mirroring the same attributes of love described by Paul and therefore devoted the largest chapter of the book to detailing and defining each of these characteristics.

I was honored to be selected to present this chapter to the staff and discovered Hunter’s words to be some of the most practical applications of love I’ve yet to find.  If truly applied and practiced, I believe the qualities and skills he details can impact not just one’s workplace, but every relationship, interaction, and encounter we experience in life.

Depending on one’s personal preference of scripture version, the exact terms listed by Paul may vary although the meanings remain.  Due to this, for simplicity’s sake we will define the eight attributes of love as the leadership skills Hunter lists:

Patience – Kindness – Humility – Respect

Selflessness – Forgiveness – Honesty – Commitment

Before examining each of these, it’s important to understand a key distinction of love Hunter declares in his writing and why it is considered a skill.  Love is not about feelings, it is about how we behave.  While feelings have the power to influence decisions and behaviors, they have nothing to do with the choices we make to practice the qualities listed above.  According to C. S. Lewis, “Love in the Christian sense, does not mean an emotion.  It is a state not of feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people.” Notice how Lewis embodies the words of Jesus to love our neighbor as ourselves.  He points out love is a matter of will we have naturally about ourselves and should choose to have towards others.  These words of Jesus, recorded as the second greatest commandment, have been etched in my brain from an early age, but Hunter’s determination of love being a skill shines a light on the command I’ve yet to see until this point in my life. Feelings have no effect on our skills and therefore should have nothing to do with the choice to remain kind, respectful, forgiving, and committed.  By definition, skill is the ability to do something well, based upon one’s knowledge and practice.  As followers of Jesus, we should be known as those who love well and therefore love should be a skill in which we are most proficient as we practice patience, kindness, humility, respect, selflessness, forgiveness, honesty, and commitment.

In his book, Hunter embodies the words of both Jesus and Lewis in defining love as the act of extending yourself for others by identifying and meeting their legitimate needs and seeking their great good.  In simple terms, love is as love does.  It’s of little use for me to make a claim of loving someone if I do not embody the skills of love.

Love looks like Patience.

Love looks like Kindness.

Love looks like Humility.

Love looks like Respect.

Love looks like Selflessness.

Love looks like Forgiveness.

Love looks like Honesty.

Love looks like Commitment.

The journey through Hunter’s book has been an unexpected experience.  Previous leadership books I’ve read have done little more than provide how to lists of being a better leader while causing reflection upon those I may have once reported to and making determinations of I will or will not be like them.  Servant leadership, as described by Hunter, becomes more of a mirror into one’s own life reflecting what is truly present or may be lacking in efforts to become not just a better leader, but a better person.

Over the next few weeks, I will take a closer look at each of these skills and discuss them in greater detail sharing more of Hunter’s thoughts.  I will note, however, this discussion is not in efforts of making a to do list or checklist for the sake of proving whether one is loving.  It’s simply to share a new glimpse of love which has given me pause and made me consider my own behaviors towards others regardless of what I may be feeling.   Love is not about feelings, it’s about how we behave.

Rocky

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by Jim Gordon

Kindness is something you do not find much in our world today.

The Bible speaks about kindness many times. Kindness is one of the fruit of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22.

The dictionary says kindness is being considerate or helpful. I think the world would be a better place if everyone treated each other with kindness.

It usually does not take much to be kind. Sometimes I think we make it harder than it should be. Something as simple and easy as a genuine smile can brighten the day of a person who is not expecting it.

bekindtooneanother

Being polite and kind to others can sometimes be just what they need to make their day. Holding the door for someone, letting them go ahead of you in line, smiling and saying hello, treating them with respect, things like that can go a long way to lift someone up.

In his book ‘It Worked for Me In Life and Leadership‘, Colin Powell said “Kindness connects you with other human beings in a bond of mutual respect. If you care for your followers and show them kindness, they will reciprocate and care for you”. Showing kindness can be beneficial not only to those you show kindness to, but to yourself as well.

We also need to remember that truly showing kindness goes beyond just the basic acts of being nice. Here is another quote from Colin Powell’s book “Don’t just show kindness in passing or to be courteous. Show it in depth, show in with passion, and expect nothing in return. Kindness is not just about being nice; it’s about recognizing another human being who deserves care and respect”. I personally think that when the love of God flows from within us, we can show kindness out of general concern and interest for others.

It is sad that so often it seems that even Christians have a hard time treating each other with kindness. There is so much disagreement, fighting and arguing over views and interpretations. We seem to forget that as Christians we all have the common ground of faith in Christ and we are all children of God. Even when we do not agree there is no reason why we cannot be kind and respectful to one another.

Be ready to show acts of kindness each day. See others as just as important as yourself. Let the love of God flow from you to genuinely touch the lives of others. You never know who it may affect and where it may lead.

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by Mike Edwards

It is said that God demands worship and awe which may discourage a close relationship and oppose God’s wishes.  God, like any loving parent, only hopes to persuade through mutual respect that their love is in one’s best interest. We weren’t created to worship God so shut up and give God the glory. God surely created us to share life together.

Doesn’t the Bible command respect for God?

It is easy to read the Old Testament and think that God demanded respect from the Israelites or else! The OT also speaks of Abraham and Moses thinking of God as a Friend. It matters how one reads the Bible. The writers in getting to know God were influenced by their culture where gods were to be feared and revered. But, then Jesus who claimed to be God in flesh didn’t initiate relationships by demanding respect. Jesus got His dander up the most with the religious elite who portrayed God as demanding obedience rather than desiring a relationship.

God’s uncontrolling nature suggests God’s desire for genuine relationships.

If God was controlling or demanded obedience or respect, wouldn’t there be a lot less evil in the world? God doesn’t appear to be like the God of extremists who think that controlling or destroying free, moral decisions result in true love. It may that a God who respects freedom can’t always intervene to stop evil. God may know what we humans know – freedom not force likely leads to genuine, lasting transformations.

The Bible isn’t the only place to understand God and relationships.

The Bible doesn’t even claim to be the specific or only guide to Truth. Jesus when leaving this earth said His Spirit, not some Book, would guide us in truth (Jn. 14:16-17; 16:13). Jesus didn’t seem worried that Truth always requires discernment. Those who claim biblical writers always understood God perfectly likely accept that God created us in God’s image (Gen. 1:27). That passage has a sense of God desiring we represent God here on earth. How can we represent an inaudible God who leaves us with a Book subject to interpretation if we don’t share moral and relationship expectations influenced by God’s Spirit?

Who do you have the most genuine, closest relationships?

I know some may consider it heresy to suggest parents should earn not expect respect as their children age. My parents grew up in the generation where children were expected to be seen and not hear. Parents weren’t seeking to earn their child’s respect must less become close friends as they grew older. Parents were always parents and children were always children.

I was convinced that my children were more likely to act on my guidance, which should be in their best interest, when they desired to do so out of respect than commanded to do so. “Do as I say and not what I do” didn’t make sense to me. Our obedience has absolutely nothing to do with God’s love or a parent’s love for us. Employees or parents have genuine followers not by demanding respect but when there is a sense of mutual respect.

God seeks a close relationship through mutual respect.

God never thought fear led to life-changing transformations. Has gloomy uncertainty as to God’s favor conquered your battles against self-centeredness or long-standing habitual sins? Getting to know what God is truly like can inspire us to be the kind of persons we deep down truly want to be. You can’t get enough of a person or God because you have so much respect, not because you are commanded to love. Love out of fear often only leads to brief obligations out of guilt. My prayers alone or with others doesn’t begin: “Dear God, the Holy One, the Feared Creator of the Universe…” Such talk doesn’t invite getting to know one’s Creator. I talk to God as if a close Friend, and I haven’t been struck dead yet!

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by Jim Gordon

In these days of so many tragedies it is easy to start posting articles on social media about what needs to be done. I have tried to stay away from political postings and personal views on hot topics of the day. The few times I did make a comment it made we wish I had not.

Everyone has an opinion, and usually when it comes to the major issues going on in the news, posting your thoughts only bring about arguments and misunderstandings. I have found it best to stay away from posting personal views online.

StoptheViolence

In regard to the school shootings we all have an idea of what needs to be done. Those ideas vary widely from one end of the spectrum to the other. The main point I have found is that we all want to end the senseless killing of innocent people. How we go about that is very widely disputed and argued, so I do not want to go any further with that idea.

For me the main topic I enjoy writing about is the love of God and the love we are to have for one another.

Bad things are going to happen in this world, and there are plenty of people who will write and discuss such things. I do not feel I need to be another voice talking about the negative, terrible events that go on in our world. It is good that some people do write about this so we are all informed, but I do not feel the calling to do so.

I would rather write and hear about how people support one another, care and respect one another and build each other up in a world that many times has such a negative attitude.

I certainly do not have the answers to bring an end to tragedy, hate and unacceptance. I do believe that love and accepting others will have a more positive effect.

As a believer in God, I do not think it is my job to push my beliefs on others but I do think it is my calling to love people. All people, not just those who think like me or believe like me. Jesus said to love God and love your neighbor. I believe my neighbor is every person I come in contact with throughout my life.

To me being a christian means loving God and loving people. It is not going to a building once a week, it is not following religious rules, it is not pointing out the sins and mistakes of others or standing my ground on my interpretation of christian beliefs.

LoveGodLoveOthers

Being a christian is being a follower of the example of the life of Jesus. He loved people and showed the love and acceptance of his father to a world that did not know real love. That is what we, as his followers are to do today. Show the unconditional love of our father to all people no matter what label is placed upon them.

We have enough tragedy, unacceptance and hatred in our world. It is time we look past our differences, stop pushing our religious rules and interpretations and let the love of God touch the people we have contact with each and every day.

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by Jim Gordon

Here in the United States we are always talking about freedom of speech. I have to say I am in favor of it, yet many times the practice of it seems to be done in the wrong manner.

Freedom to say what we think, how we feel and what we believe should be the right of every individual. Done in the right way it should not be a problem for anyone. There are questions as to how far we go with this and what is beyond freedom in regard to the rights of others and disrespect towards others, but that is for another discussion.

The trouble starts when one group thinks they should be able to say what they think but the other group should not. Or one person is very judgmental and condemning in what they say and are very rude in their presentation. Or the person or group speaking thinks everyone should conform to their way of thinking.

Freedom of speech should be done in a respectful way. Make your point and speak your mind but do it in a way that is not mean and judgmental.

FreedomofSpeech

Also remember that we will all have different views and opinions and just because we are free to speak them out, we should be accepting and respectful towards others whose views are going to be different.

Most of the time we would rather fight and argue over opinions, trying to prove ourselves right and the other person wrong. Name calling gets started and it ends up in a mean free-for-all and nothing gets accomplished.

Just because we have the right to say what we think, we have to realize that it is only our opinion. Not everyone will agree with what we say and we should be respectful of others opinions.

It would be best if we could say what we think in a kind and respectful manner, yet I know that does not happen most of the time. By being mean and condescending towards others we usually cause people to be defensive and respond in the same rude manner.

Enjoy your freedom of speech. Express yourself, give your views and opinions in a respectful way but allow the other person to have the same freedom. If we could express ourselves in this manner I think we would make more of an impact and we could actually have meaningful discussions with one another.

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As a follower of Christ, I feel a great sense of treating all people fairly and with respect. We are told that as his followers we will be known by our love, not only for one another but for all people.

Unfortunately, I do not see a lot of this sentiment in our christian world today. So many of us would rather condemn, argue and stand our ground for our particular doctrine, interpretation or denomination.

When reading about the life of Jesus while on earth, I see a person who loved his Father and loved people. He went about treating all people with love and respect. He told people to go and sin no more, but he never condemned or made anyone feel like a person of lower degree. He never said because you have done this I want nothing to do with you. He loved them no matter what.

Although I like to write, my chosen profession is firefighting. As I think about this line of work I see it as more like true Christianity should be.

Firefighterpledge

As a firefighter we treat all people the same. It makes no difference whether we are treating male or female, rich or poor, white or black, religious or atheist, gay or straight. We do not differentiate between jew, muslim, hindu or christian. It makes no difference if you are American, European, Middle Eastern or Asian. All people are treated the same no matter who they are, what they believe or how they live.

To me this is the way we christian people should live each day. Treating others with equality, respect, kindness and by the love of God. We will not always agree on things but living this way will have more of an impact on others and will show the love of God in action.

I always wonder how the church world can be so mean, how it can separate itself so much from those who see things differently. How can we, who profess to follow a loving God treat people with such disrespect? Why is it that most of the time, christian people are known more for what they are against rather than for the love they are to show to all people.

I feel it is time that we christian people take on a firefighter mentality in the way we treat others, showing love and respect to all people. Rather than fight and argue it is time we help lift up, encourage and be respectful to everyone we meet along this journey through life.

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In our world today unity and agreement are things that are almost unheard of happening.

There are different areas where groups of people will unit in a common cause or belief, but even then complete agreement among members is hard to attain.

Look at Christianity. Those of us who claim to be christians are divided up into thousands of groups, denominations, doctrines and beliefs. We usually find a common group within a particular church or denomination, yet complete agreement is rarely found even there.

DividedChristianity

Seems our whole world is based on division. Just look within the church not to mention other religions. Do you think christians and atheist will ever agree? How about those who believe in marriage between a man and a woman and the gay community.  What about blacks and whites, or americans and those from other countries. Will republicans and democrats ever work together?

The thing is that unity and agreement is probably not going to happen in the world as we know it. There are so many different personalities, beliefs and lifestyles for all of us to agree. Yet that does not mean that we cannot accept one another, respect one another and live together in peace even in our differences.

In a world like ours we probably will not see the acceptance and respect for one another that we should. But does that mean we stop striving for such a world? Do we just stop thinking of others and do only what is best for us? Do we really think our way is the right way and everyone else is wrong?

Especially as those who claim to follow the way of Jesus, we should be known for our love of others. Each of us has the right to follow what we feel is right and live according to our convictions. That does not mean everyone is right or wrong, but everyone should be accepted and treated respectfully whether we all agree or not.

LoveOneAnotherAsIHaveLovedYou

Jesus said to love God and love others. He did not say we all have to agree or live the same way. Jesus lived and walked among all kinds of people, many of those the religious people would not associate. Rather than look at all the labels we place upon people and groups, look at the human being and see a person that God created and loves.

If we see things differently, if we cannot agree or come into unity together, at least respect each other and treat people like you would like to be treated.

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I know there are a few people who are atheist or who are part of the gay community who follow my blog. First off I would like to thank each of you for taking the time to read some of my articles.

I truly believe in treating each other respectfully and without judgment and condemnation. I do not see why anyone feels the need to separate themselves just because we think differently.

sayhello

If any of you would like to post about yourself and a little bit about your way of life I would be glad for you to do so. So much of the time all we see is the label that is placed on individuals and we forget there are human beings behind those labels who really are not any different than anyone else.

Unfortunately many christian people have preconceived ideas of atheists and the gay community, so hearing the facts from each group may be a help in understanding and acceptance.

I think the best way to understand different views of thought is to hear from each other and get to know a little about the person behind the label.

Feel free to visit our page by clicking on the following link and tell us a little about yourself

https://donewithreligion.com/lets-get-to-know-one-another/

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