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Archive for the ‘Acceptance’ Category

Jesus Didn’t Die To Save You From Hell – Why Then?

Posted in Acceptance, christian living, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , , , on April 7, 2024|

By Mike Edwards

Has the real Gospel been hijacked? Church folks have been told forever that Jesus’ life and death on the Cross was to spare us from going to Hell to appease God’s anger about our sins. Can human, much less spiritual relationships, be built on fear and anger rather than love and grace? No wonder many don’t want to talk to us God-folks. We are too busy trying to save them from a fiery afterlife rather than discussing how God’s presence in our life now helps us become more the person we desire to become deep down. Godly living in this world leads to a meaningful life with less regrets.  

Jesus’ message couldn’t be about avoiding Hell and getting into Heaven 

Many of us who attended the institutional church were taught that God’s main mission was to save us from hell so we could go to heaven after death here on earth. All we had to do was say a prayer: “Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for my sins. Please forgive me. I receive You as my Lord and Savior. Help me to live for you.” I can find no place in the Bible where Jesus advised such a prayer or demanded certain confessions to follow Him. The Good News couldn’t be about escaping a fiery, torturous God if such a hell isn’t biblical. See here.

Did Jesus really die on the Cross to appease God’s anger? 

Biblical scholars with interpretation expertise suggest many explanations about Jesus’ death. See here.  It seems to me that we may still be talking about Jesus’ life about love, because He was willing to die rather than power over others. Jesus’ death rather than His power has inspired billions to live unselfishly. Terrorists blow others up for a message they feel strongly about. Jesus only blew Himself up for a message He believed very strongly in – seek God’s help in loving others like you want to be loved.

  • If Jesus had to die to appease God, why did Jesus pray to not have to die (Mt. 26:39)?
  • How does an innocent person suffering really atone for another person’s sins? It doesn’t make “loving sense” to forgive a child by punishing another child.
  • If Jesus’ death was required for forgiveness, why in the OT did God often forgive the Israelites? In the New Testament Jesus forgave others before dying on the Cross (Mt. 9:2; Lk. 7:48, etc.)

God cares the most about helping us to do good not evil in our relationships

Understand Jesus, understand God! Jesus didn’t speak of a certain prayer to repeat. Jesus commended Zacchaeus for recognizing a journey necessary to avoid personal destruction. Salvation is not a future destination but a currently reality (Lk 19). Jesus told the woman who had committed adultery: “go now, and leave your life of sin” (John 8). When Jesus was asked by a religious expert how to have eternal life, He simply said to love God and your neighbor (Lk.10:25-37). Loving God leads to loving others. Jesus hung with the despised to reveal God’s love for all. Jesus confronted the religious who kept laws but didn’t follow Jesus with their heart. Jesus sought changes of the heart for the good of the world.

How can God help us? 

A relationship with God isn’t a future but current reality. Surely a loving God seeks to encourage us to pursue heavenly than worldly ways here on earth. God seeks to empower us to be the unselfish people we deep down desire to be. Maybe Jesus thought dying unjustly, rather than miraculously jumping off the Cross, revealed evil and God’s willingness to suffer with us and help. Who kills someone for simply claiming to be God? Many of us need to feel forgiven for the behaviors we have committed. God is dying to forgive you of wrong doing in hopes to inspire you to change for your interests and the interests of others.

Jesus Didn’t Die To Save You From Hell – Why Then?

MikeEdwardsprofilepic125

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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So Many Divisions within the church

Posted in Acceptance, christian living, institutional church, Jesus follower, religion, The church, tagged , , , , , , , , on April 3, 2024|

by Jim Gordon

It is sad that Christianity is divided into so many different groups. We all have a little different interpretation of the Bible and a little different understanding of doctrine. Obviously, we are not going to agree on everything, but we certainly should be able to love one another and accept each other even when we differ on these things.

It is hard to understand why there are so many divisions when God tells us we are to be one, as Jesus and God are one. Yet, we understand that we are human and it is easy to lose sight of our first love. If we could only stay focused on Christ, listening for his voice and the guidance of the Spirit, loving God and loving others as God intended, then we could begin to look past our differences.

The problem seems to be that we are unwilling to see any other viewpoint other than our own. There are those such as my wife and I that do not attend an organized church. There are those who attend a church every time the doors are open. Some attend a house church, some meet with fellow believers at cafe’s, parks or restaurants, and others meet in their homes over dinner. We should accept these differences and love one another rather than argue over who is right and who is wrong.

There really is not a right or wrong way to assemble together and we need to stop expecting everyone to do things exactly the same way. We should respect the viewpoints of others and focus on loving them rather than expecting them to see things our way.

Things will not change until we start focusing on what is common in our lives rather than the differences. The common focus should be on Christ, the head of the body. After that, we should focus on loving others rather than arguing about the differences in interpretation.

We should also keep in mind that we are all constantly changing as God brings new truth to us. We are all learning and changing as we are ready to accept new truths. The interpretations I had five years ago are completely different from some of the interpretations I have now. I am sure in another five years they will change again as God leads me into more truth.

Sometimes we are afraid to accept the opinions and interpretations of those who are outside of our belief system because we feel if we do not hold to our way of thinking, we are compromising and not standing up for what we believe. We do not have to give up how we interpret the Bible, but neither should we think everyone else is wrong. Besides, we really are not responsible for leading others into our truth, or convicting them of sin, or even saving them. That is the job of the Holy Spirit. We are told to love God and love others.

When we realize we are each equally important functioning parts of the body, and Christ is the head, we can start to change how we feel about those who do not see things exactly the way we do. We can begin to accept our brothers and sisters in Christ as they are, as we realize we are walking as one with the purpose of sharing the love of God.

Jim Gordon and his wife left the institutional church after spending over fifty years within the system. Jim wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system and why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. Jim can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com

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9 Reasons To Not Trust The Bible’s Claims About God!

Posted in Acceptance, Bible, christian living, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , on March 17, 2024|

By Mike Edwards

You may not notice some of the vilest claims in the Bible about God until you begin reading very closely. Leaders tout that God inspired/approved all written in the Bible, yet some actions contributed to God by the writers make no moral sense. Unfortunately, newcomers will be directed to read the Bible and be horrified reading about some of God’s supposed actions. Rationalizations are given to explain such actions about God to protect God’s inspiration of the Bible (writers understood God perfectly). I suggest instead considering if biblical writers always understood God correctly. Do the following passages really describe a loving God? There are hundreds. I will conclude by suggesting how to read the Bible without being revolted. 

Contradictions in the Bible

Contradictions are one reason to doubt God’s inspiration/oversight of the Bible. If God can raise the dead, God can obviously control transmissions of words supposedly given to the biblical writers – but God didn’t! The list of contradictions may be trivial but are sizable (See Gregory Boyd, Inspired Imperfection, Chapter 1):

  • II Sam 24:1 says God incited David to sin; I Chr 21:1 blames it on Satan
  • 2 Kgs 24:6 says Jehoiakim had a son; Jer 36:30 says Jehoiakim didn’t have a son to reign after him
  • Does God take pleasure in destroying (Deut. 28:63), or does God take no pleasure in the death of the wicked (Ezek. 33:11)?
  • Does God punish children for the sins of parents (Ex. 34:7; Num. 14:18), or does God never punish children for what parents do (Ezek. 18:20)?
  • Matthew says Jeremiah rather than Zechariah spoke about the thirty pieces of silver (Mt 27:9-10. Zech 11:12-13)
  • Did Jesus say the rooster would crow once after Peter’s three denials (Mt 26.34, Lk 22:34, John 13:38), or did the rooster crow twice (Mk 14:30)

Moral challenges concerning God’s character are much more disconcerting. I will cite only a few below that advocate violence or immoral actions in God’s name.

God supposedly kills an entire human race by drowning

“Every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out; human beings and animals and the creatures that move along the ground and the birds were wiped from the earth. Only Noah was left, and those with him in the ark.” (Gen 7:23)

Keep in mind Genesis talks about a magical tree of good and evil and talking snakes. A Global Flood could be a literary device to illustrate the destructiveness of human versus God’s ways. Maybe the writers used an analogy of a Flood and drowning because their world view including God controlling the natural world. I might not read the Flood story to young children but wait to explain that God didn’t really drown practically the entire human race. Personally, I wouldn’t use a drowning analogy to portray God’s character. Not sure God would either!

God supposedly mandated death for cursing, gathering sticks, etc.

When it comes to many of the laws, the OT claims God spoke these words (Exodus 20:1). Biblical writers rarely claimed audible God-speak. “God said” recorded hundreds of times in the Bible is most likely a figure of speech expressing inner impressions or understandings about God – right or wrong. How can we be sure the writers heard inner God’s voice correctly?

  • Did God really mandate whoever curses their parents be put to death (Ex. 21:17)?
  • Did God really mandate to death a man gathering sticks on the Sabbath (Num 15:32-36)?
  • Did God really require death for adultery (Lev 20:10)? That’s a lot of bodies today
  • Did God really command whoever does work on the Sabbath be put to death (Ex 31:15)?
  • Did God really command death for those who blaspheme the name of the Lord (Lev 24:16)?

God supposedly approved a wife’s hand being cut off when grabbing a man’s genitals

“If two men are fighting and the wife….reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.” (Deut 25:11-12) 

A woman raped is forced to marry her rapist

“If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered…..He must marry the young women, for he has violated her.” (Deut 22:28-29)

Women were seen as property of the father or husband and she was no longer valuable (being a virgin) after being raped! Did God really approve a woman being required to marry her rapist as if this was a step up to protecting victims from a life of shun? 

God supposedly orders killing boys and non-virgins but sparing virgins for the warriors 

“Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.” (Num 31:17-18) 

Did God really stay silent because the Israelites couldn’t handle the truth that requiring a woman to marry soldiers who killed their children and husband is evil? Sounds like men writers imagining God talking to them! 

God supposedly commanded genocide – all men, women, children, infants, and animals

“This is why the Lord Almighty says….Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them: put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.” (I Sam 15:2-3) 

“Twelve thousand men and women fell that day – all the people of Ai. For Joshua did not draw back the hand that held out his javelin until he had destroyed all who lived in Ai. But Israel did carry off for themselves the livestock and plunder of this city, as the Lord had instructed Joshua.” (Joshua 8:25-27). See also Joshua 10:28.

If you don’t think this is morally repulsive, how would you react if you read these same commands in the Koran? 

A daughter is given as a reward for being victorious in Battle 

And Caleb said “I will give my daughter Aksah in marriage to the man who attacks and captures Kiriath Sepher.” (Josh 15:16)

Just in verse 13 the Lord was supposedly giving commands to Caleb. It is reasonable to think the writer assumed approval by God giving the daughter away. Why didn’t the writer at least mention God’s outcry to stop treating women as possessions and property. That is wrong regardless of culture norms as were civil right violations in America decades ago. I bet God was speaking up, but men in biblical times just weren’t listening as many Americans too in the past.

God will slay with thirst, have sex in public to shame, and then speak to her tenderly 

See Hosea 2: 1-14. I imagine this story was to illustrate Israel’s unfaithfulness to God, rather than God literally telling Hosea to marry a promiscuous woman. I doubt though God wanted to be portrayed slaying with thirst (v. 2), possibly have sex in public to shame her (v.10), and then act as if God can then start talking tenderly (v.14). I can think of better illustrations to portray a loving God. I got a hunch the writers were portraying how they perceived God.

God supposedly is arbitrary with justice

God kills Uzzah for putting his hand out to balance the Ark from falling (II Sam 6:7), yet God is silent when David committed adultery and had Bathsheba’s husband killed. (2 Sam 11:14) Even in the New Testament God supposedly struck dead Ananias and Sapphira for lying how much money they donated to the church (Acts 5). Then, God is said to kill some for celebrating Communion without examining their heart. (I Cor.11:30). I would be dead!

How can we know God if not through the Bible 

Despite contradictions and moral challenges, many hold on to an inspired Bible for fear the Bible will be discarded for “whatever goes” in understanding God. A Book subject to interpretation cannot be the definitive word of what God is truly like. Biblical scholars interpret differently the same passages, and most of us don’t acknowledge our interpretation could be wrong. The challenge is many interpret their inspired Book as God being violent or advocating violence. This has led to imitating or justifying violence in the name of a perfect loving God.

Few believe God dictated the writers’ recordings. You certainly can’t prove God controlled the writers’ thoughts to always understand God perfectly. As mentioned “God said” is recorded hundreds of times in the Bible. This is likely a figure of speech expressing inner impressions or understandings about God written down – right or wrong. We can’t prove the writers understood God perfectly other than taking their word by claiming they are inspired by God (2 Tim 3:16-17). That is circular reasoning. We were surely created to love the way the Creator loves. It isn’t presumptuous to imagine what a loving God is like though our moral consciences. See here.

Why should I bother to read the Bible?   

The Bible is God’s story beginning with Israel and culminating with the life of Jesus that we don’t possess in other documents. God may have inspired/encouraged the writers to write but didn’t necessarily approve of everything written about God. When reading the Bible, contemplate what a loving God is really like. Enjoy what God is trying to reveal to you about your Creator and how to treat others. Imagine if extremists had to consider that God didn’t inspire every word in their Book and had to openly discuss what a loving God is like. Interpretations about God’s love toward others, that don’t match how you and most know you ought to love your neighbor, may be amiss. A Book must not replace our relationship with God and common moral sense. Questioning the Bible may lead to knowing God better!

9 Reasons To Not Trust The Bible’s Claims About God!

MikeEdwardsprofilepic125

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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Why Do We Avoid Discussing Our Different Beliefs With Others?

Posted in Acceptance, christian living, Love of God, religion, tagged , , , , , , on March 3, 2024|

By Mike Edwards

Politics/science has joined organized religion in possessing an unfortunate quality. Spiritual and political discussions are important as they help guide our values as individuals or as a nation. Science discussions are important as health decisions are made such as responding to Covid. Freedom of personal beliefs is trampled upon by denying open debate. The truth is certainty doesn’t always exist. Climate debates are critical to decide the greatest human flourishing. Christian leaders claim God and the Bible condemns gays without acknowledging contrary biblical interpretations. We must recognize our fears that lead to denying or avoiding discussions. 

There are universal certainties not subject to debate 

No rational person argues that physical or sexual abuse is up for debate. Moral truths are not determined by a Book, popular opinion, or by a few in power. We all have an inborn sense of good and evil. Concerning non-universal matters such as immigration policies, we must have open discussions which laws are the most caring for the greater good. Most religions agree the overriding moral guide is to love others like you want to be loved. Belief or lack of belief in God doesn’t give you an excuse to not treat others like you want to be treated.

We fear consequences for sharing our beliefs

We may avoid discussions because we don’t have to take action if we don’t bother to consider believing differently. Being treated unjustly though may be a bigger fear. Both Republicans and Democrats in the past have denied the results of elections. You decide if there has been equal justice in this arena recently. Disagreeing with the perceived popular science narrative or disagreeing with church leadership about God’s character can lead to isolation or being blacklisted. Thriving societies must support individuals being allowed to form their own opinions without threats when universal agreement isn’t obvious. Why is one afraid to defend their view, if they know the “truth”?

We fear not fitting in

Groupthink is just human nature. Most humans desire to integrate with a group, get along with its members, and benefit from them. Discussing opposing beliefs can be uncomfortable. The loner must fend for himself. It’s extremely difficult to acquire or achieve anything all by oneself. If you leave your group, your options are limited to joining the opposing group or being alone. For most of us, neither option is appealing. Being your own person is a tough business.

We fear loss of security

Threats of losing your job are undeniable due to the assault on freedom of one’s opinion. One may not oppose censoring activities for fear losing their livelihood because they disagree with the popular, uncertain narrative. In politics differing with the popular opinion might not lead to reelection. Pastors risk being kicked out of the pulpit. It is a human right to disagree if one is not inciting physical violence toward others. I am convinced racism is evil (that blacks are an inferior race), but I must debate those who are free to disagree. I will win the debate!

Fear of liability 

Many pushed for mandates for the Covid Shots because they believe in what authorities were telling them. The claim that the Shots stopped infection and transmission turned out to be false. It is understandable to believe authority figures are telling you the truth initially, but there is no excuse for continuing to deny evidences that has come forth. Worse, if one knew the truth from the beginning and yet still pushed a lie, they rightly should fear liability and be held accountable. We seem to have lost sight that it isn’t real science if there isn’t debate – science is ever evolving.

Fear of loss of power and control

Unfortunately, many fear not only losing their job but losing control and power. It doesn’t matter if you think you are right and doing what is best for the good of the land. Certainty is an illusion unless talking about universal evil such as rape or incest. Try claiming certainty in your personal relationships. If married you are probably headed toward divorce. Individuals must have the freedom to decide what is the best decision for themselves, or the powerful rule the powerless. Individual freedom is a higher principle than lording over others what you “think” is right. You may be wrong! Control and power flourish when others are not allowed to discuss alternative opinions. One way to judge one’s motive is to demand answers for refusing to debate. If one is sure they are right for the good of all, why fear convincing others in the public arena?

Fear of uncertainty

Certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. One may believe what seems to be the popular narrative because unknowing can lead to anxiety. One can avoid anxiety by not discussing their beliefs with others who believe differently. For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create anxiety about what other beliefs may be questionable. Also, uncertainty is often viewed as doubting, which is frowned upon in Christian circles. Similarly, questioning the uncertainty if the Covid shots are safe and effective, if we have gotten the shots, can raised anxiety and fear about our health.

We fear lack of civility

Disagreements are normal in relationships. We must talk to others like we want to be talked to. We must control our emotions. We can’t have discussions with those who are rude or close-minded. We can’t always prove what we believe is true about God. We can’t claim without debate if our climate control measures are best for the most human flourishing. We all must discuss differences calmly, accepting that misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with your own. 

Imagine a world….

  • If we were open to defending our beliefs civilly
  • If we closely guarded one’s freedom to choose when the possibility exist you could be wrong
  • If we stopped calling those who disagreed with us heretics or conspiracists
  • If politicians encouraged open discussions to better discern together the greatest good for all
  • If Christians didn’t always claim their biblical interpretation is correct

When one does not respect your individual freedom to believe as you think best, there can be no discussion. Anyone who threatens to end a relationship because of a difference of opinion is not worthy of your friendship. Confrontation must sometimes take place with friends for one’s silence can be harmful to others; politicians must be voted out; one may have to discover new places for spiritual growth besides their current place of worship.

Why Do We Avoid Discussing Our Different Beliefs With Others?

MikeEdwardsprofilepic125

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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We are No Longer Sinners Saved by Grace —–We are the Righteousness of God 

Posted in Acceptance, christian living, Jesus follower, Love of God, tagged , , , , , , , on January 24, 2024|

by Jim Gordon

Can you even imagine it? We, you and me, saved by grace and now considered to be the righteousness of God. 

Funny, it almost feels sinful to think that way, but God said it and it is true. Because of Jesus, we are now God’s righteousness. 

A lot of pastors want to tell us that we are poor sinners saved by Grace. True, we are saved by Grace, but we are no longer considered poor sinners. Stop letting religion tell you that you are not good enough. Through Jesus, we have been restored to fellowship with God. Through the grace of God, we are now the righteousness of God. We are now the temple of the Holy Spirit.

Stop condemning yourself. ‘There is now therefore, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. (Romans 8:1-4 NASV). 

Stop trying to do things to earn God’s love and grace. We are now the righteousness of God because of Jesus. No matter what we do, or do not do, God has provided us with salvation, forgiveness of sins (past, present and future), and has restored us as perfect sons and daughters because of Jesus. 

The Law was given to point out our sin and prove to us that we could not live a perfect life. Thanks be to God who provided Jesus who fulfilled the Law and restored our fellowship with God. We no longer must live by the Law of the Old Covenant. We are now free from sin, and no longer need the Law. 

Let’s start enjoying the freedom we have in Christ, and start living through love for God and love for others. Do not let someone tell you that you are anything less than the righteousness of God. 

Jim Gordon and his wife left the institutional church after spending over fifty years within the system. Jim wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system and why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. Jim can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com

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Why Is It Best To Assume The Bible Isn’t Inspired By God?

Posted in Acceptance, Bible, christian living, tagged , , , , , , on January 7, 2024|

By Mike Edwards

I have written here concerns about the Bible. We should always question interpretations since biblical scholars interpret differently the same passages, especially since few acknowledge their interpretation could be wrong. The challenge is many interpret their inspired Book as God being violent or advocating violence. This has led to imitating or justifying violence in the name of a perfect loving God. We should then also question if the Bible is inspired by God. We can’t prove God controlled the writers’ thoughts to always understand God perfectly. Anyway, even if all agree on interpretation, which is rare, we should still question if God really inspired the writers’ thoughts if contradictory of a loving God.

How an inspired Book can lead to violence

Many interpret the Quran or the Bible advocating killing Jews or condemning gays respectively, because Allah or God supposedly approves such actions. Most, especially extremists, don’t acknowledge their interpretation could be wrong. God supposedly orders Israel to commit hundreds of atrocities in the OT – “… put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys” (I Sam. 15:3). God’s possible justification of violence can lead to imitation of violent solutions such as capital punishment, blowing up abortion clinics, or unnecessary wars in the name of God. I believe it is more critical to question if the Bible is inspired by God, making one’s interpretation the lesser debate since most believe their interpretation is correct.  

Debatable interpretations are often assumed to perfectly represent God

The truth is biblical scholars who have a deep respect for Scriptures don’t agree what the Bible says about gays, women, hell, and other moral issues. See here.  See here.  See here.  Gays are often condemned, women’s leadership roles are limited despite their gifts, and it is suggested a fiery torturous afterlife awaits infidels in God’s name. Extremists often will advocate killing infidels in this life according to their interpretation of an inspired Book. If we can question if writers always understood God perfectly, we can naturally wonder if God’s actions would ever violate our moral intuitions of a loving God regardless of one’s interpretation.

Moral truths aren’t hidden in a Book

Even the Bible suggests we aren’t morally clueless. We are encouraged to be perfect like God (Mt. 5:48) or follow God’s example (Eph 5:1). Such statements make no sense if presumptuous to imagine what a loving God is like though our moral consciences. See here. Consider a Book’s writer or editor didn’t understand God fully if your interpretation of a passage is contrary to your moral intuition of a loving God. I am of course talking to rational people who understand we ought to treat others like we want to be treated. 

How can we view the Bible?

The Bible can be viewed as God’s story beginning with Israel and culminating with the life of Jesus that we don’t possess in any other document. God didn’t necessarily inspire or approve of everything written about God. When reading the Bible, question and contemplate what a loving God is really like. Imagine if extremists had to consider that God didn’t inspire every word in their Book, and we had to openly discuss what a loving God is like. Interpretations about God’s love toward others, that don’t match how you and most know you ought to love your neighbor, may be amiss. A Book must not replace our relationship with God and common moral sense.

Why Is It Best To Assume The Bible Isn’t Inspired By God?

MikeEdwardsprofilepic125

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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5 Lies About God Turn Many Away From God!

Posted in Acceptance, Bible, christian living, Love of God, religion, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on December 24, 2023|

By Mike Edwards

Lies may be too strong a word. I can’t prove with certainty what God’s views are regarding women’s roles, gays, etc. But it is only intuitive that a Creator loves the ways their creations ought to love one another. All rational humans seem to have the same internal moral code – to love others like they want to be loved. The Bible can’t be the definitive word about God because scholars don’t all agree what the Bible claims about God on many moral issues. We also can’t prove God controlled prophets or writers to always understand God perfectly. We can imagine what a loving God is like though our moral consciences. See here.

God does not torture or kill infidels 

We know bad religion when we see it. Any religion that advocates or excuses those, who don’t accept their belief, being killed in this life is evil. Christianity must avoid having any comparisons with such a religion. A loving God can’t possible light infidels on fire and then not letting them die in the afterlife. Christians must reject such a view of Hell. Now, when one meets their Creator and rejects living a loving/godly life, I can see them being allowed to pass on into final death. I wrote that Hell (a place of forever punishment) is doubtful biblically and even morally from a loving God. See here.   See here.

God does not condemn gays for attractions they have no control over

How could a loving God possibly condemn gays when they can no more choose who they are attracted to than straights can? If you are a straight man, don’t you naturally have to fight not looking at naked women than men? Ask gays their battle! Who chooses to be gay when having to hide one’s sexuality because of bigotry and hostility? Even if you believe God inspired every word in the Bible and agrees with all written about God, not all biblical scholars interpret that Bible condemning monogamous gay relationships. See here. I am begging you to not condemn gays because the Bible supposedly does. Please be open to the possibility that you may be wrong.

God does not believe only men can serve certain roles 

Women suffer violence because some claim the Bible says God wants women submissive to men in ways men are not similarly submissive to women. It doesn’t matter all men don’t take a mile when given an inch. Enough do! Many women can obviously feel disrespected and confused why a supposedly loving God would choose according to gender than gifts in serving in the religious institutes. Men, walk in their shoes if you had certain leadership gifts. Most would agree it is immoral to favor one based on the color of their skin. Intuitively, to favor men over women for particular roles seems sexist. Scholars don’t agree how the Bible should be interpreted on roles for women in the home or church. See here.

God does not exclude infidels from Heaven after death 

One’s religion or rebellion against a certain religion is often based on the family born into whether it is Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, etc. Is God a God of chance? A loving God wouldn’t only let Christians into heaven when the majority of people born into this world died without knowledge of Jesus the Christ. No human or spiritual parent brings children into the world requiring that one’s eternal destination is based on circumstances out of one’s control. Only extremists believe you must adhere to a certain religion in this life or the life to come or be killed. Even the Bible possibly suggests all will eventually end up in Heaven. See here.

God can’t control evil or your suffering

One of the biggest reasons for being an atheist is because of the presence of evil in our world. Some suggest God doesn’t intervene in evil or suffering because all evil eventually leads to good, as if some grand plan by God. Tell that to sexual abuse victims or family members of murdered victims. We must consider that God can’t be all-powerful. Perfect love can’t be controlling. Ask any adult child. Evil and your suffering may be because God cannot intervene single-handedly without being controlling. Such freedom by God is necessary for authentic relationships to develop. Forced love is an oxymoron. God is surely doing all they can to stop suffering with the help of others. The alternative is that God can always stop your suffering and doesn’t, or that God arbitrarily stops other’s sufferings sometimes but not yours. I doubt it! 

How can we stop turning people away from God? 

I believe if we at least stopped claiming certainty in God’s name regarding gays, women’ roles in marriage or in church, or the destiny of those who don’t choose a certain religion in this life are destined to never be with God in the afterlife, we would have more open conversations and reveal more the loving God we believe in. Your interpretation may be wrong, so stay openminded. Christian leaders – show some courage and change your stance. You may not agree with my interpretations, but I will admit my interpretation could be wrong if you will. Don’t claim you have God all figured out according to a Book. Yes, we can claim God hates evil such as physical or sexual abuse, but for example listen to each gay’s story and love them like you would want to be loved if you had the same journey.

5 Lies About God Turn Many Away From God!

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Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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How The Heck Do You Have A Good Marriage?

Posted in Acceptance, christian living, Love of God, tagged , , , , , on November 5, 2023|

By Mike Edwards

This is a previous Post. I thought I would repost with some minor changes, to follow up my Post last week – How The Heck Do You Parent Well?

I’m no expert but one who is anxious for others to avoid my failures. I can assure you my marriage hasn’t lasted 41 years so far because I am some saint. Divorce can happen and doesn’t doom one as a failure for life. Relationships aren’t that complicated, just hard. Many marriages can succeed when both partners adhere to a few essential attitudes and actions to better relate. I am going to keep this less than a five-minute read to hopefully provoke more readings about marriage here or elsewhere if struggling. Success isn’t an exact path. We all have a chance if strive to treat our partner like a best friend!

The Right Attitude – Accepting Differences 

Good luck finding a partner that always agree. Marriage is about living happily incompatible. There are no perfect matches. Relationships often start off well because reality hasn’t set in – sharing closets, bathrooms, in-laws, children, etc. You still have in common why you began the relationship, but now you have to work out your differences. Other friendships don’t have the 24/7 challenges. Naively, I assumed in the beginning I would be happily married 100% of the time. Now, I realize being pleased 75% of the time is a pretty good marriage. Strive to treat your partner like you want to be treated when not agreeing. Marriage isn’t agreeing but learning to disagree. 

The Right Actions – Fighting Fair 

After accepting we don’t have a right to expect everything we desire, we still must solve differences to live peacefully together. When handling differences in other relationships it usually is out in public with others around eyeballing your actions. In a 24/7 relationship differences can happen more in private. There is less accountability to behave. Kids, we know the rules in solving differences – keep your hands to yourself, don’t raise your voice, stop interrupting, etc. When such rules are violated, give each other permission to stop and restart when acting more civilly. Couples who say they are no longer in love have stopped treating each other in loving ways. Happy couples expect problems and solve differences in a positive manner so solutions can be discovered. 

Identify A Specific Plan And Persist 

As you strive for the right attitude and actions – develop specific steps each can take, evaluate success in a time limited fashion, and do it all over again. Keep trying until finding what works. Judge the relationship not on feelings that depend on circumstance but judge the relationship on specific actions that can bring about desired feelings.  Couples often give up too soon because they attempt a “hit and miss” approach to their problems. Couples often argue, “they have tried everything.” Develop your own list of habits such as below:

  • During conflict both ideally ask “what can I do differently” not “why can’t you”
  • Assume good will of you partner unless you married the devil
  • Focus on solutions than problems
  • Persist unless one partner is being abusive
  • Run from temptations such as drugs or affairs that can set you up for failure
  • Get third party help after remaining stuck
  • Try doing what you would tell your friend if they asked for advise
  • Identify 2 or 1 thing you wish each would do differently once a day that is observable and you can acknowledge genuine appreciation when it happens
  • Focus on you being the right person rather than your partner
  • Happy couples’ ratio of encouraging than criticizing is at least 6:1

Spiritual help can be invaluable in marriage

Maybe you are just a good person without any help. Personally, I need help being the best version of myself for the sake of my partner. I need to be willing to say sorry. I need to recognize I am being selfish. I need to be willing to forgive when my partner takes responsibility for their actions. Great marriages aren’t about being good enough or not as bad as other partners. The best goal of marriage or any relationship is aiming for perfection. My view of God inspires me to pursue perfection in my relationships without being paralyzed by guilt when failing. I have the “want to” to be perfect. I believe that motivation comes from God!

John and Julie Gottman, who have researched marriage relationships for years to identify important factors that lead to success, state something so true: “Every marriage has perpetual issues – conflicts based on personality differences or lifestyle differences that never go away. Common examples include how much intimacy there should be in a marriage, as well as disagreements over money and household chores. But as longtime marriage therapists, we’ve found that partners can live peacefully with perpetual issues as long as they talk about them in a open, productive way.”

How The Heck Do You Have A Good Marriage?

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Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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How The Heck Do You Parent Well?

Posted in Acceptance, christian living, tagged , , , , , on October 29, 2023|

By Mike Edwards

Warning parents – Words of advice to your kids don’t nearly matter as much as your behaviors/actions. It determines if kids want to be like you and even if your kids like you. Good luck if you are the kind of parent that says “do as I say, not what I do.” Parenting is thousands of actions to do and avoid. It can help though to have a general plan to guide you. I will list several actions at the end to think about, but mainly I am going to suggest firm but gentle parenting is the key. I parented three kids who are now in their thirties. Looking back, I didn’t always succeed but I tried. Perfect parenting doesn’t even guarantee perfect kids, but I got lucky. You would be proud to call my kids your own.

What is firm parenting? 

Firm parenting basically is not constantly moving the bar regarding expectations. Your “no” must mean “no.” Don’t make the kids guess how to please or respect you. Good parenting looks for ways to say yes rather than no all the time, just because you are tired of the challenges of parenting. My biggest “no” was you will treat your sibling the same way I am expected to treat your Mom. That means no yelling at or putting your hands on each other when upset. If you are a parent with more than one child, you know this is an almost daily challenge when they are young. If you are saying no all the time, consider what actions you want to major on and go from there.

What is gentle parenting? 

One can be firm but gentle. If a kid is running out in the street without looking, all rules off. Yell at the top of your lungs and take action. But most misbehaviors don’t require such a reaction. Have you noticed kids are exhausting and exasperating! For some reason they don’t come into the world wanting to behave most of the time. Use a firm but not loud voice to state the expectation. If they don’t listen remove them from the scene of the crime. Spanking was not an option for me as a parent. It stifled creative discipline that is more effective. No, my kids didn’t end up in prison. 

Lots of other actions 

The challenges of parenting is unbelievable. You have to monitor screen time, you have to monitor that snacks aren’t the main meal, you have to be concerned how kids these days are treating one another when no one is looking, etc. Here are a few personal parenting actions I think can help:

  • Put the marriage first over the kids. Do stuff with your partner alone and communicate in words your partner is your first commitment. Kids will benefit in the long-run. I sucked at this!
  • Be present in the moment and not distracted. Kids are boring when younger. Quite thinking what you aren’t getting done and be with them.
  • False praise isn’t good but unexpressed gratitude toward the kids is the same as ingratitude
  • Spanking is not necessary as stifles creative discipline that is more effective
  • Pick your battles when appropriate to say “no” and mean it. Now that you are an adult, “what do you wish your parents had said ‘no’ to and minor on the rest? Stop changing the goalposts
  • Discipline doesn’t always have to be immediate. You might come up with a better idea later. Let the kid wonder
  • Knows the stages of parenting. See here.
  • Insist the siblings treat one another like they want to be treated. NO bullying in this house either between mom and dad or siblings
  • Controlling love is an oxymoron. As they get older (age debatable), kids need to be allowed to make their own decisions and suffer the consequences if necessary. Give choices and let them follow their own dreams not the parent’s dreams
  • One last personal thing men – when we dated we tended to hold doors including the car, and other actions that conveyed love. I wish I had never stop holding the car door despite children. I am back in the habit for years unless hot as hell in the car and the wife wish I get the AC going first before they get in. The wife doesn’t always love this new habit, but I ain’t changing
  • Want more suggestions? See here.

Oh yea, this is a spiritual blog! 

One can be a great parent despite not believing in God or have a relationship with God. No excuses! I am bias. God’s influence in my life has made me a better husband, parent, and friend. I am convinced God loves me the same way I desire deep down to be known for loving others and my children. I have written before how and what a relationship with God is like – What Is The Greatest Advantage Believing In God If So Inclined? Consider all the human and spiritual help you need to be the very best parent you can be.

How The Heck Do You Parent Well?

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Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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Why Do We Censor Different Opinions Than Ours?

Posted in Acceptance, christian living, Love of God, tagged , , , , on October 15, 2023|

By Mike Edwards

I assume most are aware of efforts to censor or quash contrary opinions. In the Religion arena, the word Heretic is thrown around against those who don’t agree that God condemns gays, that men are leaders of women in the marriage relationship, that Hell is a fiery, tortuous destiny, etc. Do their accusers not understand the Bible is ancient literature subject to interpretation, and biblical scholars don’t agree. The same actions have become more obvious in the political/science arena. People with contrary opinions to certain policies are called racists, conspirators, or misinformers. We must challenge those who censor as oppose to winning the debate in the public arena.

Acknowledging freedom and uncertainty are critical to leading us forward 

Freedom of ideas are what separate democratic societies from dictatorships. Freedom is often quashed because individuals claim certainty in their beliefs. Christians leaders condemn gays in God’s name because the Bible says so, and demands others believe as they do. They don’t consider they may be wrong. See here.  Climate experts don’t agree with the narrative concerning climate change. Claiming certainty rather than defending one’s position is not how a democracy works. One must have the freedom to make their own decisions when there is uncertainty. Religion and science are playing God (Superior) in the lives of others by claiming they know the truth and we are too stupid to decide for ourselves!

The benign reason for censorship is one believes they are right for the good of all 

It doesn’t matter if you think you are right and doing what is best for the good of the land. Certainty is an illusion unless taking about universal moral sins such as rape or incest. Try claiming certainty in your personal relationships. If married you are probably headed toward divorce. Most decisions are not black and white and require open debate by those in authority. One must have the freedom to decide what is the best decision for themselves, or the powerful rule the powerless.

The nefarious reason why others censor others 

One may not oppose censoring activities for fear losing security (their livelihood) because they disagree with the popular, uncertain narrative. In politics differing with the popular opinion might not lead to reelection. Pastors risk being kicked out of the pulpit. It is morally wrong to shut down disagreement. I am convinced racism is evil (that blacks are an inferior race), but I must be open to debating those who disagree. I like my chances of winning the argument with others.

One though may actively censor the opinions of others for control and power over others. Control and power can have financial benefits. Losing the argument in the public arena may lead to loss of power or position. Control and power flourish when others are not allowed to discuss alternative opinions in the public arena. One way to judge one’s motive is by demanding answers as to why refusing debate. If one is sure they are right for the good of all, why fear convincing others? It was questioned if the Covid shots stopped infection and transmission, so to not enforce mandates. Turns out they were right. Supposed truth-tellers insisted on protecting grandma. They were wrong. Truth must win in the arena of debate so one has freedom of choice in the land of uncertainty.

Actions

  • If many disagree with your opinion, be openminded. Consider why you are afraid to defend your belief if you supposedly know the “truth”
  • It is more important to protect one’s freedom to choose when the possibility exist you could be wrong
  • If church leadership calls those who disagree with their view of God heretics, challenge them or leave. They can’t even prove God exist. This is a personal, freedom decision
  • If politicians support censorship or label those who disagree with them as misinformers, vote them out. Why believe their view if they can’t defend their views for the supposed good of the world?
  • When we stop censoring or labeling others as heretics or conspiracists, we may come to a decision best for the good of most

Why Do We Censor Different Opinions Than Ours?

MikeEdwardsprofilepic125

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

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