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Inclusion is Not a Bad Word

January 26, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Michael Donahoe

Have you noticed how many people seem to only include their preferred group? They only include people who think like them, have similar interests and likes. If you think differently or have different views and opinions, people feel you should stay in your own group with like-minded people, but leave the other group alone.

We seem to find this attitude in every walk of life, but within organized religion or institutional church it seems even worse. We all should be accepting of people in general in our daily lives. Yet, we see this so often within Christianity with the wide variety of denominations and interpretations of the Bible.

When it comes to including people who we see as completely different from us, African-American, Native-American, White, LGBTQ, Atheist, Muslim, Jew and so on, we tend to want to keep each group separate. We think as believers in God we need to separate ourselves and not associate with those who see things differently. Why is it the word inclusion seems to make so many Christian people cringe?

Really, behind all the labels we put on people we are all basically the same, so why not associate and get to know people who we feel are different from us? We can learn from one another, get to know one another and find that we really are not all that different.

We see Jesus do this all the time when reading the gospels in the Bible. He did not differentiate people based on their religion, belief, lifestyle, sexuality or nationality. He did not separate himself from those who thought, believed and lived differently. He loved and accepted all people and showed them the love of God.

Obviously loving and accepting people does not mean total agreement, nor are we going to always get along in life and live happily ever after. Yet I believe it does mean treating others the same, with respect, kindness, acceptance and with the love of God through the power of the Spirit within.

Inclusion is not a bad word. It is not a bad or unholy way to live. Inclusion is about ALL of us. Inclusion is about living full lives – about learning to live together. It makes the world our classroom for a full life. Inclusion treasures diversity and builds community. It is about our abilities – our gifts and how to share them. Inclusion is the way of God and the way of showing the love of God to all we meet.

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Michael Donahoe was added as a writer for Done with Religion as his views fit perfectly with those that are shared on this site. He and his wife have been outside the walls of religion for fifteen years. He enjoys writing about his experiences and thoughts, and he wants to encourage others who are going through the religious deconstruction process. He also writes on Substack at https://deconstructiontrail.substack.com/ and https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/

Posted in Acceptance of Others, Bible, christian living, Community, Love of God | Tagged , , , , , |

What Is Misinformation? Should We Censor Misinformation?

January 25, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

Try claiming God doesn’t condemn gays. You are called a heretic in religious places, despite disagreement among scholars what the Bible claims. Dare to argue Covid vaccines have risks and you are called a mis-informer or conspiracist. It isn’t science without debate. The problem is condemnation of expression of opinions. The solution is encouraging civil discussions. Certainty is a myth except in the eye of the beholder!

See: What Is Misinformation? Should We Censor Misinformation?

Posted in Acceptance of Others, Bible, christian living, Love of God | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , |

Top Posts for 2025

January 20, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

Many rightly wonder if what Christian leaders claim about God is true. Who can blame them when God supposedly created a place such as Hell, to torture forever those who don’t believe in God a short time here on earth. In Posts I  often propose a question, which can paint one’s view of God. I try to keep a page length with bold subtitles. It concerns a question about God that I wish people would be willing to discuss about God, so they could draw their own conclusions than what many Christians claim to be true about God.

 Why Did God Allow This Cancerous Tumor In My Brain?

Getting Saved Isn’t About Going To Heaven Or Hell!

Hell No! Hell Is A Myth!

A Loving God Can’t Be All-Powerful!

Which Religion Leads To Heaven?

God Loves Gays!

Should Christians Always Forgive Those Who Deny Guilt?

What Can Good Marriages Do Even Better?

What May Be The Greatest Unknown Sin?

What About Miracles Prophesies – Book Review Impossible Love

If God is Real, Why Then Is God So Hidden?

What Is God’s Love Really Like?

Should We Assume The Bible Isn’t Inspired by God And Does It Matter – Rants Against The Bible

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like

Posted in christian living, Love of God | Tagged , , |

The Spirit Lives Within Us

January 13, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

the Spirit is Our Teacher and Guide

by Michael Donahoe

Growing up in the organized church, we were told that the Holy Spirit came to reside within us once we accepted Christ. We were also told that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit and we have no need that any man should teach us. Yet when it came to really emphasizing what that meant and how to hear the Spirit, the church seemed to have dropped the ball in that area.

We do not seem to hear a lot of teaching on what it means for the Spirit to live within us. We are not told how to listen for the Spirit and what are we actually supposed to be listening for. Jesus said that his sheep hear his voice, yet most of us were taught that his voice is really the words written in the Bible or spoken by the pastor.

We have heard it said that if it is not in the Bible it is not of God. We are told God only speaks to us through the written word, yet there are so many interpretations, various doctrines and so many verses that were written to a specific person or group of persons many years ago. These writings were often for a specific time period that no longer relates directly to us except as an example to learn about the nature of God.

I feel so much has been lost over the years from when the original writings were done. So many of the translations have changed the original meanings because of changes in times, customs, word meanings, traditions and such. Without the Spirit bringing to life the words we read, and through confirmation through the voice of the Spirit within, we are really left to our personal views and opinions and what others have told us the written word means.

The Bible is not God and it is not a god. The Bible was inspired by an infallible God yet written by very fallible men, men who were inspired yet wrote with their personal views and ways of writing. The Bible is about people trying to find, follow and fellowship with God and it teaches us ways to do that. The written word leads us to the Living Word, who is Jesus. ( read the article, In the Beginning Was the Word by Michael Clark ).

The Bible tells us that the Spirit now lives within us. Yet so often, even though we say it we do not act like we really believe it. Time and time again the Bible mentions we are the temple of the Holy Spirit, we have the mind of Christ, the Spirit and the Kingdom are within you. And time and time again we seem to go right on thinking God is far away from us and all we can do is read from the Bible or have some pastor tell us what God is saying.

There are many people who say they speak for God, but they are nowhere close to being a godly example. It is easy to say God told me this or that, or say God told me to tell you something yet the person saying such things is only going on their personal feelings and interpretations. Anyone can say God told them this or that and they expect us to do what they say, but we need to listen to the Spirit for ourselves and listen for the confirmation from within as to what is of God and what is not.

I believe if God says the Spirit lives within us and we can hear his voice, then it is something not to be taken lightly. As followers of Christ, we can rely on the Spirit within us to teach us and guide us into the truth. We have to be listening and open to God to know the voice of the Spirit, but we can hear it and know it is from God. To say that we can only hear from God through the written word is to miss a more intimate fellowship with God.

Is the Bible to be ignored? Are we to stop reading the written word and only follow what we feel is the voice of the Spirit? No, both the written word and the Living Word that lives within us are important. The written word is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness. Yet without the Living Word bringing those words to life, it is just a book about humans trying to find God. We need to be listening for the quiet voice of the Spirit of Christ who actually lives within us for truth and guidance. Sometimes he will speak directly in our spirits, sometimes he will speak through his written word and sometimes through others.

Also remember that God is alive and the Spirit is within us. Do not think that God can only speak through one particular means. Yet do not jump at every voice you hear, make sure it is the voice of the Spirit. Although the Bible says we have the mind of Christ we also have the mind of Jim, or Mike or Betty. We are still human and need to be sure we are hearing from the Spirit of Christ and not our natural spirit. Still, Jesus said His sheep hear his voice, which to me says we can hear and know it is from God.

We also know that the Spirit can speak to one person one way and another person in a different way. Just because the Spirit is speaking to me does not mean he is telling you the same thing. Just because I hear the Spirit say something to me does not mean it is something that has to be announced to everyone. It may be that he is speaking to me for something I need to do or learn and it is not meant for others to hear.

My friend Michael Clark wrote about this topic and said in his article: Jesus is the Word of God! He speaks to those who are His sheep. They know His voice and will not follow the voices of strangers (read John Ch. 10). Yet, so many Christians have said to me, how can I know when Jesus is speaking to me? To many of them the answer is, unplug! You are listening to and reading too many teachers. Break this habit of heaping to yourself teachers who tickle your ears. Get alone with God until you start hearing His whispered voice. Talk with Him and let Him be your friend above all friends.

Just as we think of the church as a building with an organized program, it is so much more than that. The Church is a community of people daily following the Spirit and living in the kingdom of God during our life now. We think of the word of God as a book, yet the true and living Word of God is so much more than that. Jesus is the Living Word of God and we can hear the voice of the Spirit which is within us. We can hear his voice through the written word, but keep in mind that God speaks in more ways than one.

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Michael Donahoe was added as a writer for Done with Religion as his views fit perfectly with those that are shared on this site. He and his wife have been outside the walls of religion for fifteen years. He enjoys writing about his experiences and thoughts, and he wants to encourage others who are going through the religious deconstruction process. He also writes on Substack at https://deconstructiontrail.substack.com/ and https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/

Posted in Bible, christian living, Love of God, Word of God | Tagged , , , , , |

Why Is Uncertainty About God A Good Thing?

January 11, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

I have written a great deal how I think certainty is the hidden sin among Christians. See: Sin-of-certainty Being so certain about God and what God is really like actually turns many off from God, not towards God. Convincing is the work of God, not humans. The truth is we can’t be certain God exists or there is an afterlife. But I still have faith and hope that God exists and there is an afterlife. Some say they have had a real experience with God to give them total confidence God exists. I don’t doubt them. Just that I and many others haven’t had such an experience.

Uncertainty promotes humility

Certainty about God can easily slide into “I fully understand the divine” which is a very big claim of an invisible God.  Uncertainty keeps us humble and reduces dogmatism and harm in relationships. Uncertainty allows people to say: “I believe, but I acknowledge the unanswered questions.”

Certainty has led to condemning gays, women, and unbelievers

Certainty of one’s interpretation of the Bible can lead to false claims about God’s nature. Hell is surely a message Christians get wrong. I am convinced a literal Hell is a biblical myth.  See here.  We can get wrong that God thinks women can’t serve in the same religious or marriage roles that men can. Another myth in my opinion. See here. Also, we get wrong that God condemns gays according to the Bible. Another myth in my opinion. See here. People reject God based on claims about hell, women, or gays.  Even if you believe the entire Bible is inspired by God, we must admit our interpretations are not necessarily inspired by God.

Absolute certainty about God’s will has sometimes justified:

  • Violence
  • Religious coercion
  • Dehumanizing others

Uncertainty makes room for:

  • Listening instead of forcing
  • Compassion over control
  • Moral self-examination

Uncertainty allows faith to be chosen, not forced

Many thinkers say faith is meaningful because it isn’t certain.

  • If God were as obvious as gravity, belief would be automatic
  • Uncertainty allows belief to be a free response, not compulsion

This idea is sometimes called “faith as trust rather than proof.”

Uncertainly can allow one to become more loving

Some say the question becomes less “Am I correct?” and more “How can I become more loving?”

Uncertainty about God doesn’t mean:

  • No belief
  • No commitment
  • No spirituality

It can mean:

  • Belief held with humility
  • Faith practiced with compassion
  • Openness instead of rigidity

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like

Posted in christian living, Love of God, religion | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Why Do People Reject That God Saves All To Heaven Eventually?

January 4, 2026 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

Universalism is a theological belief that God eventually saves all to go to heaven after death. Some may even experience open-mindedness in the afterlife after meeting their Creator. God never gives up. God’s love is relentless. This doesn’t mean some won’t reject God though it is hard to conceive some rejecting a perfect place such as heaven as opposed to death (Hell is a Myth, See here. ) It is hard to believe but possible that some people, even if they were given infinite chances in eternity, would still reject God forever. But universalism as least means all have final chances after meeting their Creator in the afterlife, to believe and accept God’s ways.

Why universalism makes godly sense 

Does God’s loving nature allow stopping to forgive? There are consequences in this life and there may be painful reckonings in the life to come, but a loving God can’t stop showing grace. Why would God undergo a complete character lobotomy after we take our last breath here on earth? Is a thief going to enter Paradise but not others with lesser sins because they weren’t next to Jesus hanging on a Cross right before their last breath? God’s grace doesn’t depend on whether one has more opportunities to respond to God than others. Even imperfect human parents wouldn’t cut off a child who eventually accepts responsibilities for their actions. Universalism is possible or even probably true because there can’t be a deadline or time limit on God’s love. There isn’t on my love for my children. Am I a better lover than God?  We are told to forgive our enemies as many times as necessary but God doesn’t? 

Universalism seems true even according to the Bible 

Many may reject universalism because they believe the Bible teaches against it. Many who reject universalism often resort to name calling rather than defending their views – referring to those who reject their claims as heretics. What many may not know is there are many biblical scholars who believe the Bible can be interpreted to teach God saves all eventually. See: All Will End Up Heaven According To The Bible!

Universalism seems true because Hell is a myth: 

Many who believe God exists agree God has given us moral intuitions to discern evil from good. We don’t need a Book to know sexual abuse or murder is wrong. God creating a literal Hell where people are tortured for billions of years for beliefs held a short time here on earth isn’t possible morally or biblically. See here. See here. Humans wouldn’t even create such a place for our enemies. God or humans can’t possibly be happy in heaven if loved ones are tormented after death forever. If God supposedly has such control over happiness, why not use the same power over rebelliousness?

Without Hell is there is a reason to consider faith in God here on earth? 

It is implied Hell/fear is necessary to want to follow God. The Bible seems to suggest God seeks to empower us to be the unselfish people we deep down desire to be, not to be fearful of a destiny to be tortured forever in the afterlife. Jesus sought to inspire others to seek God’s help in loving others for the good of the world. Jesus simply commended Zacchaeus for recognizing a journey necessary to avoid personal destruction because of sin. Salvation is not a future destination but a currently reality (Lk 19).  Jesus told the woman who had committed adultery not how to avoid hell but: “go now, and leave your life of sin” (John 8).  Why pursue God without fear? Surely a loving God seeks to encourage us to pursue heavenly than worldly ways here on earth for our own happiness.

What about Justice? 

The Bible talks about everyone, whether having faith here on earth or not, will be judged (2 Cor 5:10; Rom 14:12). Punishment doesn’t bring back a victim’s robbed memories of the future due to the murder of a loved one. Justice can be understanding your victim’s pain and accepting the harmfulness of your actions. After death God may seek for all to face every action of betrayal and how it felt to their victims. The cleansing and educative effect may take longer for some than others. Humans like God may forgive their enemies if they truly regret their actions and seek forgiveness. Justice from a fair, merciful God is possible despite people being given a second chance after death.

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like

Posted in Bible, christian living, Kingdom of God, Love of God | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

God is Like Jesus, Loving and Kind

December 30, 2025 by DoneWithReligion

by Jim Gordon

I grew up in the traditional church environment and followed the religious teachings and doctrines over the years. I have seen a lot of things that I now question and wonder why things were done that way.

Over the years, many of us have come to see God as super human being sitting on a huge throne up in heaven just waiting to punish us for our mistakes. We see God as being far away, impersonal, judgmental and many times as someone to fear.

Yet when we think about the life of Christ and know he was sent from God to show us what God is really like, we come to see God in a different way. When we read about how Jesus lived and treated people, we see him as loving, compassionate, kind and accepting. Jesus came to show us that God is the same way.

After Jesus left this life on earth God sent the Holy Spirit to live within us. Think about it, God in Spirit form lives within us and among us right now. God is not a super human being way up there somewhere far away, but is Spirit and is right here within us.

God is not out to get us and punish us every time we mess up. I think God gets a bad reputation from some of the writings in the Bible due to mistranslations, different word meanings and not understanding customs of the times. I believe men, although they were inspired by God, wrote down some of their personal views. Obviously, if you were inspired by someone to write a book you would still write it from your perspective. Anything man has a hand in is going to be flawed. The Bible, when combined with the leading of the Holy Spirit is purposeful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, and in guiding us to the living Word of God who is Jesus.

Rather than running around being afraid of God and waiting for the judgment of God to fall, look at Jesus and see that God is love. Whenever correction is needed it is only for our good and it is done in love. Just as a loving parent sometimes corrects their child. it is done in love and for the child’s own good. We are not waiting to be destroyed by a God who loves judgment and condemnation. We are living with a God who is love, who created us and who wants the best for us during our time on earth.

Stop being afraid of God and continue to seek fellowship with God. If you hear a pastor telling you that God is out to get you and that you had better shape up or else, get away from there and find brothers and sisters in Christ who will be encouragers and who will help build you up rather than condemn and scare you. Fear of judgment will not lead you into a loving relationship with God. Only true, godly love will be what draws us into fellowship with God. God is love. For those of us who are followers of Jesus we should also be known for our love. As Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-39, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. Live a godly life by loving people. Rather than being known for judgment, condemnation, hatred and what you are against, show the love of God. Be kind to all people and be known for your love of your fellow human beings.

Jim Gordon and his wife left the institutional church after spending over fifty years within the system. Jim wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system and why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. Jim can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com

Posted in Acceptance of Others, Bible, christian living, Jesus follower, Love of God | Tagged , , , , , |

Can God Really Do Miracles – Are Miracles In The Bible Literal?

December 28, 2025 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

If God can really do miracles, why doesn’t a loving God do many more miracles rather than letting so many suffer? If God is truly all powerful, lack of more miracles is selective love. Let’s don’t imply one doesn’t have a miracle in their life from lack of faith or some sin in their life. Jesus according to the Bible would say no (Luke 13:1-5).

Maybe though God is a non-controlling, non-coercive God, thus power is limited. Maybe God can’t do miracles. This would explain the lack of miracles that would decrease so much suffering in the world. This leads to asking if recorded miracles in the Bible are literally true or to be understood metaphorically. A metaphor is not meant to be taken literally but to create vivid imagery or convey deeper meaning.  See below biblical examples.

I must confess I am influenced by my views of God

I am not one to question if miracles are possible, as many atheists do, since I believe in a Supreme God. But I can’t claim God is all-powerful because a God of freedom is a contradiction of an all-powerful God. Not even God can override free choices. If God can do miracles, why doesn’t God choose to stop so much suffering in the world, unless God can’t do miracles? Maybe God can’t do miracles without other factors involved?

One cannot deny Craig Keener’s scholarship on miracles as reliable reports exists all over the world of physical/literal miracles. I am not going to try to convince you to believe in miracles or not. But it is important to consider if miracles are possible because it can shape our views of God and God’s love. Most of us have asked God for a miracle in our life, even unbelievers.  Most would admit the answer usually has been “no.” I am defining a miracle as something supernatural such as a malignant tumor disappearing in one’s body without any possible medical explanation, or walking on water. Most miracles prayed for seem to defy natural laws. Let’s consider the Bible’s input. 

Why it may be important to believe miracles by God in the Bible aren’t literal?

One can believe in miracles, but the truth is lots or prayers for miracles aren’t answered. But, why does God seemingly display their power or not in a rather arbitrary fashion? Let’s reject thoughts such as unanswered prayer is due to one’s sins or one didn’t have enough faith. Even in the Bible the saint of all saints didn’t have his prayer answered for healing (2 Cor 12:1-10). It is written Paul was denied a miracle to avoid being conceited, but most of us would admit God hasn’t reveal to us God’s reason for denial. I would suggest avoiding thinking that God is trying to teach you a lesson, while hiding their reason. No loving parent or God act like that, if seeking a relationship.

God being all-loving and all-powerful are contradictions – Maybe God can’t do miracles. 

It is possible that many miracles in the Bible weren’t meant to be taken literally but to illustrate God’s love for righteousness than actual events. Thus, the writer isn’t lying.  Genesis talks about a magical tree of good and evil and talking snakes. A Global Flood could be a literary device to illustrate the destructiveness of human versus God’s ways. The same for the parting of the Red Sea. Maybe Jonah wasn’t really shallowed by a whale. The gullet of a whale is too small to swallow an adult. The gastric juices and lack of oxygen would not sustain human life for days such as Jonah writing a poem while inside the whale (Eric Seibert ). Was the writer trying to show God has a right to show compassion and Jonah’s misguided enthusiasm for the destruction of his enemies?

A possible explanation of biblical miracles feeding the 5000

“When Jesus feeds the multitudes with five loaves and two fish, the point isn’t the physics of multiplication. It’s a story about the nature of spiritual abundance. When shared freely, truth multiplies. When love is given, it expands. The fruits of the Spirit are not finite resources that run dry. They are gifts that are endlessly multiplied as we give them away. Once everyone has eaten their fill, twelve baskets remain; one for each tribe, one for each apostle, one for all who hunger. In other words, there’s always plenty to go around, and more left over for tomorrow. The message is that abundance is the law of love, not that an actual physical miracle took place.”

Giles gives many more examples how miracles can be interpreted metaphorical: The metaphorical miracles of Jesus

Every healing of blindness in the Gospels is a metaphor for spiritual sight. When Jesus walks on the sea, he walks upon the symbol of chaos itself. To the ancient mind, the sea represented the deep; the uncontrollable forces of nature, fear, and the unknown. Miracles maybe aren’t literal, but have a spiritual lesson involved.

God and miracles?

I prefer to assume God always desires to intervene miraculously if God can. I believe a better explanation for miracles is that various biological factors are involved such as cells and organs. If God doesn’t deny human freedom, it may not be a stretch to say God has to account for biological and natural freedom when it comes to miracles in nature. Perhaps miracles can happen when God’s uncontrolling love aligns with countless factors known and not known. God cannot intervene singlehandedly, but a loving God is dying to intervene miraculously whenever circumstances will allow. If God can do miracles, God is always wanting to do miracles, but is limited to do so based on God’s nature. Maybe miracles in the Bible weren’t meant to be understood literally.

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like

Posted in Bible, christian living, Love of God | Tagged , , , , , , |

Should We Forgive Others If The Guilty Don’t Confess Their Guilt?

December 21, 2025 by DoneWithReligion

by Mike Edwards

I am writing this to those who have experienced harm and their violator doesn’t acknowledge guilt. Also, to those who advise the victim “must” forgive to be right with God. There are different religious view on forgiveness – if one must confess or seek forgiveness before being forgiven from God or humans. Others suggest all should be forgiven even if one doesn’t profess guilt. Should we forgive others without expectations?

Many Christians assume the Bible teaches we must forgive without any expectations. The Bible can also be used to claim repentance is required. God does not forgive the rebellious (Josh. 24:19); “… if they repent forgive them” (Lk. 17:3). The Bible wasn’t meant to be a rules book to advise what every individual should do in their circumstances. “Turn the other cheek” is not meant for a domestic victim. One is free to forgive without expectations, but you have come to the right blog if a victim and you think certain expectations are important before forgiving a person.

Doesn’t God expect genuine regrets before getting into Heaven?

Many defend that the Bible claims you must always forgive no matter the circumstances. But those who defend easy forgiveness would not agree God forgives without acknowledging any wrongdoing. They would suggest you can’t enter Heaven without seeking forgiveness from God. The assumption is God expects and can discern if you are being genuine in repenting. Maybe even God has certain conditions or expectations if seeking forgiveness. Aren’t we supposed to imitate God?

I am suspicious of those that “just want to move on” 

A bully or abuser who doesn’t acknowledge their behaviors and just wants to move on is suspect. I have hurt others to know how I should go about asking for forgiveness. It isn’t about my feelings but the victim’s feelings. I don’t know why some guilty folks focus on their expectations and not their victim’s. The guilty obviously know they have done something wrong if asking for forgiveness. Those refusing to wrestle with expectations communicated by victims don’t acknowledge the seriousness of their actions.

Wrongdoing must be recognized 

If one is not held accountable for their wrongdoing, might they just do it again? Quick or easy forgiveness can allow a husband’s abusive behavior to continue. When a sexual abuser doesn’t openly acknowledge their actions, will they continue to abuse others? The guilty need to stop with excuses or blaming others. Those with the same upbringing or circumstances don’t always mistreat others. The guilty must take responsibility and accept steps a victim wants taken next. Amends should always be made by the guilty, to prove genuineness. 

Obviously, restitution isn’t always possible! 

Bad memories can’t be erased; positive memories robbed by the guilty can’t be restored. This is why certain relationships cannot always continue.  Those that have hurt others have no rights to insist on a future relationship. When restitution is possible, discussions are necessary from the victim’s viewpoint. 

To forgive or not! 

I would say to those who demand forgiveness no matter what – Does God really forgive those after death and entering God’s presence and they reject God’s invitation for a relationship.”? In my mind forgiveness isn’t really a discussion until the guilty acknowledge they need forgiveness. But for some forgiving despite lack of remorse can control bitterness. For others to forgive despite lack of remorse can cause feelings of further victimization and bitterness. We must stop guilting victims, according to the Bible, to forgive their violator no matter what. Those hurt must seek the mind of God what actions in relationship difficulties lead to your best interest in the long run in a world full of disappointments. You may discover God is emphatic!

Confession:

I experienced a brother lying to us siblings about family finances after my father’s death. He stole an inheritance my father intended for all equally. It ain’t me. All four siblings felt betrayed in the same way. This brother, who I was close to, denied any wrongdoing for gain for himself. We went to court and he had to make real estate sales undesired by him. It’s been a decade and I never felt the need/desire to forgive him, because he denied any wrongdoing. I didn’t harbor bitterness. I was just ready to move on. Only recently for some unknow reason, for the first time I silently forgave him without his confession. I am ready to forgive in person, I think, if he admits guilt and asks for forgiveness. I will have to discern if being genuine. Christian friends will say God forgives you. My counter – I have admitted to God I need forgiveness for my sins. To each his own and God!

Mike Edwards was added as a writer and has been a great addition to the site. Mike provides many interesting views and various ways of looking at things. He is not afraid to ask questions and he keeps an open mind as to teachings of the institutional church. Mike also has his own site where he writes at What God May Really Be Like 

Posted in Acceptance of Others, christian living, Jesus follower, Love of God | Tagged , , , , , , |

Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas

December 17, 2025 by DoneWithReligion

by Michael Donahoe

For most of us here in the United States and around the world, Christmas is being celebrated on December 25. It is a time of excitement and goodwill toward others. Everyone is excited about buying gifts for others and giving gifts to their loved ones. We are all excited of the thought of receiving gifts also. For some, it is a time of religious celebrations, and for others, it is a time of family celebration and the enjoyment of being together.

Yet, just because Christmas seems so popular, we need to remember that there are several other holiday celebrations going on here in the states and around the world. Following are a few of the more known holiday celebrations going on during this time of year:

Christmas

For Christians, it is the time we celebrate the birth of Jesus into our world. Many go to church and enjoy the story of Jesus being born to Mary and Joseph. We love to sing the familiar Christmas songs, enjoy the spirit of love during this season and tell everyone Merry Christmas.

Hanukkah

Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday that is celebrated for eight days and nights which begins on the 25th day of the Jewish month of Kislev. The Jewish calendar is based on the lunar cycle, so Hanukkah can fall anywhere from November 28th to December 26th. “This holiday commemorates the rededication of the holy Temple in Jerusalem following the Jewish victory over the Syrian-Greeks in 165 B.C.E.” People celebrate Hanukkah by lighting their menorahs, spinning dreidels and eating delicious foods!

Kwanzaa

In the United States, roughly five million people celebrate Kwanzaa each year! Kwanzaa is a seven-day holiday that celebrates African culture. It begins on December 26th and ends on January 1st. On the sixth day of Kwanzaa, there is a Kwanzaa Karamu, which is a big feast. Gifts of Kuumba (creativity) are given to loved ones. Kwanzaa is also celebrated through lighting the Kinara, performing and listening to traditional music and discussing African principles and history.

Winter Solstice

For Pagans, December means the holiday of Yule is coming! It falls on December 21st, which marks the winter solstice. This is the shortest day and longest night of the year. The winter solstice celebrates the rebirth of the sun, because days get longer from this point.

Las Posadas

From December 16th through December 24th, Las Posadas is celebrated by some Hispanic families in the United States. It is a nine-day celebration before Christmas, beginning with a procession with candles, songs and sometimes even people playing the parts of Mary and Joseph who lead the parade. Every night of Las Posadas is celebrated with gifts, piñatas, song, parties, tamales and prayer.

Diwali

While this holiday falls a little bit before the rest, Diwali, or the Festival of Lights, is a five-day long Hindu holiday celebrating life and the victory of good over evil. Taking place in October or November, each day of Diwali has a different legend it celebrates, but the holiday is filled with fireworks, feasts and family. The date of Diwali is determined based on the Hindu lunisolar calendar.

Chinese New Year

The Chinese New Year is celebrated for 15 days, beginning on the first day of the lunar new year. The 15th day of the new year is the Lantern Festival, which is celebrated at night with a parade. The Chinese New Year marks the end of winter and the beginning of Spring and is a time to be spent with family and loved ones, eating and enjoying time together.

So, this holiday season think outside of the Christmas box and appreciate a diversity of great holidays celebrated by others during this most wonderful time of the year. We here at Done with Religion hope that all of you enjoys this joyous season following the beliefs and traditions that you follow and enjoy. Happy Holidays to all.

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Michael Donahoe was added as a writer for Done with Religion as his views fit perfectly with those that are shared on this site. He and his wife have been outside the walls of religion for fifteen years. He enjoys writing about his experiences and thoughts, and he wants to encourage others who are going through the religious deconstruction process. He also writes on Substack at https://deconstructiontrail.substack.com/ and https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/

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