Growing up in the christian church, we were told a lot about
sharing our faith. We were told that if we did not tell others about Jesus they
would never know anything about him. It seemed to make a lot of sense at the
time.
We were told if we did not share our faith with everyone we
met we were not doing our duty as a christian. This has led to a lot of guilt
over the years.
To make things worse, we were told if we did not tell them about Jesus and the possibility of going to hell if they did not accept him that their blood would be on our hands.
I truly believe we were taught wrong. There is certainly
nothing wrong with sharing your faith, but to do so under pressure and out of
guilt is another story. I believe our commitment is to love God and love
others. The Holy Spirit will convict and draw people to the God of love. He may
even use us at times, but it will be done naturally and as he leads in love. It
will not be forced or due to obligation.
I also believe when we live by guilt and pressure to witness to others, this can lead to friendship with ulterior motives (1). We are nice and friendly to others with the hope we will get to talk to them about God. We get so busy trying to force the conversation so we can do our required duty that we forget to just be unconditional friends.
In 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 it says to “make it your ambition
to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your
hands, just as we told you so that your daily life may win the respect of
outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody”.
To me this makes more sense, to live daily in a way that wins the respect of others. Anyone can say words, but living a life being friendly, caring and accepting makes much more of a difference. I have personally seen people who were very bold in their words. They could talk to anyone, anywhere about God and tell them they need to turn their life over to God. Yet when they were done talking, they lived a life that is completely different from the words they just spoke. People look at that and do not want anything to do with the god they were just told about.
I personally do not believe we are to be forcing our views
on others. We should not feel obligated or forced to share our faith with
anyone. We are to live our lives as we know best in a way that is pleasing to
God. Then let that love be a natural by-product that others will see and be
drawn to God without us saying a word.
When we live our lives out of love for God and love for others, telling others, whether by word or deed will be natural, unforced and without obligation. It will be out of sincere love and usually because others ask about the love they see in us.
What two words, when combined, mean happiness and sadness? Good and evil? Light and dark? Hot and cold? Those same two words also contain give and take, war and peace, and famine and feast. What are those two words? All things. All, according to Merriam-Webster, means the whole amount or quantity of as well as every member or individual component of. Thing, also according to Merriam-Webster, means a matter of concern or particular state of affairs. Combining these would suggest that all things would mean the whole amount of matters of concern or every individual state of affairs. Essentially, any thought, any emotion, any feeling, any action is part of “all things.”
Returning to our musical theme, the last tune on our 3 song unplugged love-themed set (Love Unplugged, part 1 and Love Unplugged, part 2) is all about love’s relationship with all things. For this discussion, I changed things just a little and researched the original Greek definitions for each word listed in the final verses describing love.
1 Corinthians 13:7-8 from The Amplified Bible:Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].Love never fails [it never fades nor ends].
Love bears all things. Bear means to cover to keep off something which threatens or to roof over. According to the NIV, love always protects. What does it protect from? All things . . . any thought that intends to harm, any action meant to punish. By bearing all things, love refuses to say or do something just to win an argument or fight and seeks instead to preserve the other person, as well as preserve the relationship. Thoughtless words shot out in the heat of an argument are stopped before being spouted out by the bearing nature of love. Looking back at the end of verse 6 (Love Unplugged, part 1), we can see that love does not rejoice in iniquity. When coupled with this bearing nature, it is safe to conclude that not only does it not rejoice in iniquity, if necessary love will take the iniquity, injustice, or wrong upon itself to ensure that another is protected. This bearing nature would never seek to embarrass or disrespect another person. In fact, it will do everything possible to prevent it from occurring. The bearing nature really magnifies the selfless nature of love. (Love Unplugged, part 1)
Love believes all things. To believe is to think to be true, to be persuaded of, or to place confidence in. In other words, love is an eternal optimist!
Love hopes all things. The word translated as hope here means to expect and confide or to trust in. Love not only trusts, it is also trustworthy. It would be safe to conclude from this that love does not look for hidden meanings or veiled messages and because of this leaves itself open to be taken advantage of and often is. (For more on this, refer back to the quote from C.S. Lewis in the section of love not being easily provoked in Love Unplugged, part 2).
Love endures all things. To endure means to stay under, to remain, and to persevere. This year, my high school sweetheart and I celebrate twenty years as husband and wife. At times, “all things” have been good; at other, “all things” have been not so good. By the grace of God, we have endured. In fact, we have not only endured, but, through His grace and His constant teaching of love, we’ve not just survived, I’m very humbled to say we have thrived.
Love never fails. The original meaning of the word fail means to be driven out of one’s course. Love maintains its course by bearing, believing, hoping, and enduring all things. The Amplified Bible quite simply says it never fades or ends.
So concludes the “unplugged” discussion of these ever so famous words found in 1 Corinthians. I pray, once again, that at the very least, these words may cause you to simply pause and possibly ponder what love truly is and if it is being displayed in your life. May your love stay on course by bearing, believing, hoping, and enduring all things.
Is it me, or do you find that some of the teachings we have grown up with in modern day religion may be wrong? It could be a simple misinterpretation or it could be people purposefully trying to force others into their way of thinking.
Do you ever grow tired of reading all the different views
and opinions, interpretations and doctrines? Do you get aggravated when people
argue over their beliefs, yet God has told us to love one another?
It can get pretty discouraging seeing all the postings on Facebook and other social media where people argue, and sometimes heatedly, over their views and interpretations. Sometimes they are basic views we have grown up accepting as gospel truth, yet now we question whether they are gospel or man’s wrong interpretation.
No matter how you interpret the scriptures, no matter how
much you believe your way of thinking on spiritual matters, someone else will
have a completely different view. Even those who are followers of Christ cannot
agree on everything. We all have a different view on the bible and spiritual
matters.
I wonder why we cannot accept each other no matter what our interpretation. Truthfully, none of us can prove most of what we believe, whether it is faith in God, heaven, hell, satan and a number of other topics. It is all by faith that we believe what we believe. We cannot prove or disprove anything.
I think we should ask the Spirit daily for His guidance into truth. Hold to what you believe, but be open enough to change when God (not some other person) gives a clearer view of the truth. When someone has a different way of looking at things, accept them. You do not have to agree with them. Who knows, they might be right. Friendly discussion of each others views can be helpful.
I do not think any of us can say without a doubt who is
completely right or wrong in our interpretations. We should seek God for truth
through the Spirit and let everyone have their right to do the same. Quit
fighting and arguing over who is right and who is wrong.
We should remember that unity comes only in Christ. It is not through religion, doctrines, denominations or bible versions but through Christ alone. Unity through Christ looks beyond religion, doctrines, denominations, race, sexual orientation and nationality.
God is love and he lives within us. By allowing his love to
flow out of us we can look beyond our differences and accept one another even
when we disagree.
One thought comes to mind in all this, ‘Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so’. The most basic and simple song we learned long ago seems to be the one thing on which we can all agree.
Questions are interesting things, especially those that give you pause and make you think about something you’ve never considered before. That’s exactly what the following question is. It was posed to me by a minister years ago and I’ve never forgotten the way it made me stop for consideration. Here it is:
“If fine china and dinnerware is supposed to be reserved for important people, why do we only utilize it when we entertain guests? Are the guests more important and matter to us more than the family who reside under the same roof?”
While this question could easily be answered with practicalities and conveniences, it presents the idea of why are we often guilty of not giving our families the best of us: the best of our time, the best of our attention, the best of our love. After all, our families are the ones who truly see us unplugged. Staying with this musical analogy, when we put on the facade of our “best” for others, we are essentially musicians using amplification, distortion, effects, and sound modifications to make the acoustic sound of who we really are into something we assume they will find pleasing. Pondering this idea is what prompted me to slow down and examine what love really is and begin this whole series on 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 on, what is considered the day of love, Valentine’s Day. (See Love Amplified.)
1 Corinthians 13:5-6 from The Amplified Bible: It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured.It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail].
Love is not rude. To be rude is to be ill-mannered, impolite, discourteous, uncivil, and ill-behaved. Quite simply put, as translated in the NIV, love does not dishonor others. Love respects others and never dishonors them.
Love is not self-seeking. Love is not selfish. Love does not think about itself and does not demand its own way. Love does not ask, “What’s in it for me?”
Love is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]. Depending on your personal perspective, one of the greatest (or worst!) things about marriage is learning how to push your spouse’s buttons! There’s nothing that feels so liberating as a justified retaliation for a supposed wrong endured by the one you cherish most . . . of course, that’s also the quickest to ensure you go to bed angry at each other and possibly go days without speaking!! Love resists the urge for “button-pushing.” Suffice it to say that in our nearly twenty years as Mr. and Mrs., refusing to provoke each other and forfeiting sensitivity is not something that has come easily to us but thankfully it occurs at a far, far greater frequency than once upon a time. To know how to truly provoke another and refuse to do so is love. This point actually displays how truly vulnerable love is. C. S. Lewis says it this way, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” According to Peter in 1 Peter 4:8, love covers a multitude of sins.
Love does not take into account a wrong endured. Combining the four versions of this scripture pictured above let’s describe this one as love keeps no record of being wronged because it thinks no evil and is not resentful. You will never hear love ask, “What about me?”
Love does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. There is no evil in love. There is no part of love that enjoys evil. Love grows in truth and dwells in truth. I’ve heard it said that the only reason for dishonesty is fear of not being loved if the truth is known. However, love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear (1 John 1:18).
I pray you are enjoying the practical applications of love we are exploring together. Once again, this is not something we can do on our own. We love each other because He first loved us.
What would you tell someone who asked you what a christian must do to be pleasing to God?
A lot of people would start out by saying we must go to
church, we must tithe and we must obey the ten commandments. They would
probably say we have to witness to others and give our money to the poor, and
probably even some in the USA would say we must vote republican.
Seems like we christians are so hung up on works and doing things in our own effort to be pleasing to God. If we are not going to church we are backsliding. If we do not tithe to the church we are robbing God. We have all these things we are told we should be doing to be pleasing to God.
I think a lot of the christian world today has forgotten that Jesus came to fulfill the old covenant. When he said “it is finished” he was declaring the old covenant had come to fulfillment. By living a perfect life, Jesus showed us God’s true character which is love. He restored the fellowship between us and God. He sent the Spirit to live within us so we could enjoy that fellowship on a daily basis.
I think the real answer to the question of what must we do to be pleasing to God is…..nothing! We do not have to do anything because God provided grace through Christ. We are the righteousness of God and the Spirit of Christ now lives in us. It is not based on what we have done, it is all on what He has done.
We no longer have to try to keep the ten commandments. Those were a guide, or tutor to lead us to Christ. We no longer have to go to church because through Christ, we are the Church. We can assemble together with other believers any day, anywhere. We do not need to look to others for guidance and knowledge because the Spirit lives in us and is our teacher and guide. We do not have to tithe our money because the old covenant has been fulfilled. We can now give our money out of love and to who and where God is leading us to give. We do not have to force every encounter with someone to witness to them because the Holy Spirit is the one who draws all men to God. Since He lives in us we can be open to allow Him to work in us how He pleases.
So many christians today do not realize the freedom we have
in Christ. They do not understand grace and the fact that we are no longer
under condemnation. We do not have to do things to be pleasing to God. We now
live under the guidance of the Spirit and we do things out of love, not out of
obligation and trying to keep rules and commands.
So many of us live day to day under condemnation because we feel we have not done enough for God. We feel we do not measure up because we cannot do things like someone else does, or we cannot preach like someone else can. The fact is, God made us all the way we are for a reason. In the body of Christ, we all are equal and all have equally important qualities that God uses. No one is on a higher level than anyone else. We are all brothers and sisters and we are all under the headship of Jesus Christ.
Stop feeling like you are not pleasing to God because of
something you do or something you do not do. Christ has provided grace for all
of us, and there is nothing we can do to earn it or pay for it.
We can rest in God’s love. We can enjoy daily fellowship with Him because He loves us. We can be assured that we are now in the Kingdom for eternity because of what Christ has done for us. We can stop listening to others who we think are on a higher level than us, or who we think are closer to God because God loves each of His children equally. We are all capable of hearing and learning from the Holy Spirit who is within us. We do not have to wait until Sunday to hear from Him, worship Him, serve Him because we are the Church and every day is the Lord’s day.
Stop condemning yourself, look to God, love Him and love others. Let Him teach you, guide you, live through you day by day. There is nothing more you need to do than accept Him, love Him and love others. We are now new creatures in Him. We now live in His Kingdom. Forget the the rules and regulations of religion. Love God, love one another and realize you are loved just the way you are.
I imagine we all have been in a
relationship with a family member or close friend where we had some
misunderstandings and miscommunications. These can often cause hurt feelings
and arguments. That is bad enough but there are times when we get treated
downright unfairly by others.
I know there are people who are just an acquaintance and we really do not know them. When they treat us badly, we can move on with no real concern. Yet the people who are close friends, relatives, siblings and parents can be just as mean at times. For me, I have always believed in treating all people respectfully and kindly, but those who are close are the people we really do not want to allow the unfair and unkind treatment to continue.
I have seen it many times over the years. People you love and respect seem to take you for granted and do things that are unkind, disrespectful and demeaning. When it first begins to happen, our usual response is to ignore it. We think they did not mean it or they were just in a bad mood at the time.
This may be the case. Often times it can be a simple misunderstanding. Yet if it goes on and on and it happens time after time, it will eventually start to be a major problem. Good communication is key at this point. You need to think enough of yourself and the relationship to speak up. This does not have to be done in a mean or hateful way. Just a calm private talk explaining what is going on and how you are feeling can put an end to such treatment.
I have personally seen a few people
who were treated disrespectfully and taken for granted time after time, month
after month, year after year. So much that eventually they gave up on the
person and the relationship was damaged. When we continue to accept being
treated badly, we are not only damaging the relationship but we are destroying
our spirit. As we continue to accept such treatment we begin to think less and
less of ourselves.
Very often the way people treat others is done out of ignorance. They may not even realize how they come across. Again, good communication and standing up for yourself can straighten things out. The main thing is do not allow yourself to accept this kind of treatment. Think of yourself more highly than to take whatever bad treatment people dish out.
When people are treated with such
disrespect and taken for granted the best thing to do is (for you Andy Griffith
fans) pull a Barney Fife…. nip it, nip it in the bud. When we allow
others to treat us unkindly year after year after year, it eventually takes a
toll on us and we come to a point where the relationship is lost. Stand up now,
speak up now. Do not allow this kind of treatment to continue for the sake of
maintaining a good relationship with someone you care about.
Romans 12:18 – If possible, so far as it depends on you be
at peace with all men.
To be at peace with all people, including believers and non-believers seems almost impossible in our world today. We have so many different thoughts and ideas, different denominations, interpretations and beliefs and all the different religions. It makes you wonder how it is possible to be at peace with everyone?
The dictionary describes peace as freedom from disquieting
or oppressive thoughts or emotions; harmony in personal relations.
I have been thinking recently about how some christian people act towards those who see things differently. I do not know why we can be so mean at times. We feel we have to prove our point to others and stand our ground when it comes to doctrine and interpretation of the bible. I am not sure why we feel it is our job to be the morality police. Why do we feel the need to force our views, beliefs and interpretations on others?
Rather than base our lives on following doctrine and interpretation, we are to follow the example of Jesus. He said to love God and love one another. There is no way to be at peace with others without loving them. We cannot love others without the Spirit of love living within us.
I think what God is saying about being at peace with all is that we are to live in harmony with others, not allowing any oppressive thoughts or emotions to take control of our feelings toward them. In other words, we live in love. Just because someone does not interpret the bible the same way we do or go to the same church we do or does not go to church at all, we should realize that in regard to other believers, we are all wanting to love God and do what is pleasing to God. We are to accept one another in love and respect the fact that God is working in different ways in people. Just because it is not what we are used to does not mean it is not of God.
In regard to non-believers, we do not need to condemn them or force our beliefs on them. We are to let them see the love of God by the way we treat others. They do not need someone beating them down or twisting their arms to get them to believe like us. We are to love them as they are and let the Spirit do any work that needs to be done in their lives just as the Spirit does in our lives.
If we believers could understand that we are responsible for ourselves in the way we live for God. We are not responsible to live the way others do or the way others think we should. We are to allow our Father to work in our lives the way He wants and follow Him on the path He has for us.
Our responsibility is to love God and love others, accept them for who they are and pray that the Holy Spirit will teach us and guide us in the way we are to go. We are not responsible to force others to see things the way we see things. We are to love one another and accept one another as they are. Only by living in love can we live at peace with all.
Does it not seem strange that in the christian church world
we are told we are to love others, yet when we come to a difference of opinion
or a change in views in our beliefs, christians can be the first to throw a
stone?
We hear about fairly well-known individuals within the
church system say they have changed their views and no longer accept some of
the teachings they grew up with in the church. They are not necessarily saying
they are walking away from God but they are walking away from many things they
have been told about God they no longer accept.
When this happens, usually other christians are the first to
judge and condemn these individuals rather than try to accept them and find out
exactly what is going on. Their first thought is they are leaving their
complete belief and faith in God.
Many times, this is not what the person is saying anyway.
Leaving religious teachings of the church is not leaving God. In fact, many
times leaving some of these teachings behind is just the beginning of a deeper
walk with God.
I grew up in the traditional church setting and I had many
good times there. I met a lot of nice people and learned many things about God.
The thing is the church as we know it was never what God intended. Church is
not a place or an organization, it is the people who love God and love, support
and encourage one another.
The church today seems more like a corporation with the CEO
and board of directors. I know there are a lot of good people within the church
system. They love God and want to live their life for him. Yet for my wife and
I, we became disenchanted with the religious system and felt there was a better
way for us to live for God, which was outside the walls of religion and the human-led
system of church each week.
We felt that since the Spirit lives within us there is no need for a middle-man (pastor) to lead and teach us. If the Spirit of God actually lives within us, why do we so often depend on a human being to lead and teach us?
I certainly do not want to make anyone feel bad if they are
still a part of the institutional church. They are like I used to be and feel
that was the best way to show love for God and learn about God. I would not
tell anyone they should leave the system, although for my wife and I we
certainly do believe it was the best thing for us.
Whether you are in the church system, questioning the church
system or have left it, the main focus should be to love God and love one
another. Doing so fulfills all the law and the prophets (as Matthew 22:35-40
explains). Of course, we know that the law no longer needs to be fulfilled but
at the time Jesus taught this he was living under the law. Now that grace has
been applied, we no longer live by the law but by love.
Leaving the institutional church or changing and
deconstructing your religious views and interpretations do not mean you are
leaving God. Rather than jump on board with those who judge and condemn, take a
little bit and find out more about what is going on. Then remember we are all
at a different place on the path as we follow Jesus. Pray for one another,
encourage and support one another but do not beat one another up as we each try
to follow Jesus as we feel led.
Beliefs claimed about God lead to many tuning out God. Our relationship with God cannot exceed our understanding of God. I suggest HERE how we can decide what God is really like. One’s interpretation of a Book may be the only reason to think human and godly perfection are different. Why would a Creator not love us and others how we were seemingly created to love others? A loving God couldn’t possibly have anything in common with extremists or terrorists!
We must avoid claiming a good God is determined solely by a Book.
We can’t prove when the Bible records “God said” that the biblical writers/editors always heard from God correctly. The idea that the entire Bible is inspired or approved by God, without questioning, often leads down the slippery slope of inspired interpretations. We can’t utter “the Bible says so” because our interpretation may be wrong. It is very different to approach the Bible from the perspective that God is uncontrolling but continually seeks to influence for one’s good.
Jesus when leaving this earth didn’t promise to leave us with a Bible but God’s Spirit in discerning good from evil (Jn. 14:16). Supposed right beliefs or interpretations are less important than simply loving others. Those not growing up in church don’t understand all the fuss. Who thinks literature subject to interpretation, written thousands of years ago, should be read so dogmatically? A fallible Book can lead to listening to different opinions as we continually evaluate the most loving approach. The Bible wouldn’t be God’s main communication anyway, because the majority born into this world never had a copy.
Terrorists seldom are Gandhi-type individuals who seek to treat all like they want to be treated. Doesn’t true religion seek to serve not be served? Terrorism seems driven by power and control. If certain claims about God in any Book are questionable of a morally perfect God (most agree One claiming to be God must be perfect), it is doubtful God inspired such false beliefs.
We must avoid implying a loving God seeks to control freedom of beliefs.
One would think a God who is powerful enough to create, unless a respecter of freedom of beliefs, would annihilate immediately those who choose evil and oppose God. God’s love in the Bible is most frequently compared to that of a human parent. Human or spiritual parents bring children into the world hoping their children freely reciprocate their love for authentic relationships. Forced love is an oxymoron. A good God couldn’t possibly want to control beliefs through fear.
We must intervene with family or whoever when we notice one’s beliefs leads to forcing their religious practices on others or blowing up innocent people. Terrorists don’t just blow themselves up to spread their gospel. Jesus felt His own suffering for something He believed would change lives for the better. A loving God surely respects the freedom of beliefs in this life and after death, encourages men and women to be equally vulnerable to one another, seeks only to convert others from evil actions, and guides through a relationship and not a book written thousands of years ago.
We must avoid claiming a loving God’s view of women hints of inequality.
I am not suggesting all religious extremists are saying Paradise is a lustful adventure for men at the expense of women, but it is important to not be dogmatic that the Bible teaches women are under the authority of men in the God of the Bible eyes. This can encourage dominance on the man’s part. Women and men surely need unselfish partners who have the heart of a servant. Some religious extremists would rather be dead than advocate for that. We must avoid proscribing gender roles which more frequently are used to oppress women than men.
We must avoid suggesting a loving God would torture unbelievers before or after death.
Delayed torture is still torture in the eyes of many. We mustn’t claim Hell is real because biblical scholars don’t agree the traditional understanding of Hell exists in the Bible. Most humans wouldn’t even create such a place for their worst enemies! The word hell is a substitution not translation for certain Hebrew and Greek words and seems invented over the centuries to scare people into obedience. A loving God respects the right to choose your own personal beliefs in this life, and God wouldn’t torture people after death for such decisions.
Conversion to certain beliefs is never the loving goal.
I believe Christianity or any religion must differentiate themselves from terrorists or extremists. Who doesn’t know it is right to encourage treating others like you want to be treated, but we must avoid attempts to convert others to a set of beliefs associated with our religion. Jesus had no evangelical spiel other than to encourage people to shun evil and do good. Jesus encouraged spirituality for self-interest and the interests of others. Jesus did want us to know God was the kind of Creator or Parent who desired a friendship to encourage such a journey. Attempts to convert suggests a not so hidden agenda. Since Hell doesn’t exist and billions have lived who have never heard of Jesus or the Bible, a loving God would not require certain beliefs for a relationship.
Enjoying the moment is a personal choice a person makes to be present in what they are currently experiencing and to give that specific point in time their full self. It’s a decision to open oneself up to be vulnerable and a realization the moment may or may not go as we desire. How I treat the one standing in front of me at any given time is also how I decide to enjoy the moment. To not live in the moment is live a life distracted. Distractions keep us from being present and enjoying the moments we live. A distraction is anything which keeps a person from giving their full attention to something else.
The Distraction of Regret
All of us experience things in our lives we wish had not happened or we would have handled differently if given another opportunity. These things range from decisions we’ve made which caused unforeseeable, maybe harmful, outcomes to decisions others have made which had adverse, negative, and possibly even devastating, effects on our lives. Regret imprisons us when we live focused on the “what ifs” and “what could have beens” of those decisions. Replaying scenarios repeatedly in the theater of our mind, we fixate on every aspect of those situations reliving the pain, hurt, anger, and sorrow as if it had just happened. If the consequences are of our own making, we feel we deserve whatever negative results have occurred and wallow in the misery of our shame much like the prodigal son in the hog pen. However, when forced to accept another’s decision we believe is simply outrageous or unfair, we respond much like the prodigal’s older brother. I believe his response of anger to the celebration of his brother’s quickly turned to sorrow and regret with the realization he already had access to everything he was working to attain. Resisting the distraction of regret is not refusing to admit sorrow and remorse for what may have happened, it’s a refusal to remain in that moment and let it define who you are. We must let the past make us wiser, stronger, and grateful for what we have lived through and experience. Regret gives way to self-loathing and bitterness and steals you from the life happening right before your eyes.
The Distraction of What’s to Come
The last four to six weeks prior to reflecting on and sharing about enjoying the moment were a trying and frustrating time as I wondered what lie ahead. Since I no longer have the desire to one day be a worship pastor, what does the future hold? I didn’t begin the blog with aspirations I would one day write full-time, but is it now something to consider? Are there opportunities yet to be discovered which would allow more time for ministry and still support the family? Do I even want to be involved in a ministry at all? What exactly does ministry look like now anyway? Is there an opportunity ahead which would allow Shannon and me to spend more time together helping others while providing an income as well? If those opportunities presented themselves would I be willing to take the risks to make them succeed?
All these questions swirling in my head created a cloudy fog I had trouble navigating. Fatigue and restlessness plagued me as I just could not let go of figuring out what the future holds. Questions swirled in my head like a tornado waking up to start the day, sitting at my desk at work, spending time with the family, working out at the gym, and drifting to sleep at night. The distraction of what’s to come kept me from enjoying my everyday life and, no doubt, caused me to miss small moments of awe and wonder which occurred in daily interactions with coworkers, family, and friends. I was so caught up in determining a destination, I was forgetting to enjoy the journey. While on vacation, in finishing a book I have been struggling to complete since January, I stumbled upon the prayer below from Thomas Merton in the closing pages:
“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
This prayer changed my thinking and reminded me I don’t need to know what lies or even have an idea of where I’m going. I simply needed to rest in the moment and satisfaction of my desire to please my Father and His full knowledge of my desire and willingness to lead me. It brought me to a point of consciously reminding myself to live and experience whatever moment I find myself in. I can remember very vividly afternoons spent in the ocean with my family thinking, “Nothing matters right now except the fact I am here with them and we are together. What’s for dinner is not important. The drive home in a few days does not matter. What may be happening at work right now is not important. I am here with my family getting battered by waves in the ocean, having water gun fights in the pool, and we are having the time of our lives.” After reading that prayer, making it my own, and making a mental decision to enjoy the moment, I can say this was quite honestly the best vacation we may have possibly ever had.
There’s one final distraction I want to discuss, but, due to the nature of the distraction and how it relates to the churchboy, I will hold it for my next post.
Until then, I leave you with the following reminders:
Regarding Regret: In the Broadway musical Rent, composer Jonathan Larson urges us, “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss,”
Regarding What’s to Come: In Switchfoot’s opening track of their Native Tongue album, we are implored to Let It Happen:
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Done with Religion 